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  • Hi. I need to talk to you guys about something. It's important, especially if you're going to talk to a lady.

  • Sometimes people leave comments, sometimes people say things to people

  • - they do not mean to be offensive, but it makes people sad and it makes people hate you.

  • This lesson is called: "What Not to Say" or "What Not to Ask Ladies".

  • And for all, forsake and truth, men as well. So, if you're trying to talk to a lady that you quite like

  • or someone you haven't seen in a long time or a man you haven't seen in a long time,

  • there's some guidelines I'm going to help you out with.

  • Mm-hmm. Don't say these things, because it's really kind of bad.

  • The first one and probably the most important one is someone's weight.

  • Now, maybe the person has lost a lot of weight, so they've had some weight loss or they've gained weight.

  • Unfortunately, for most of us, we gain weight. So, it is not cool at all to say to someone:

  • "Oh, hey! You've gained some weight since we've met.

  • Well, I... Pfft, you've put on some pounds, haven't you?"

  • Mm-hmm. That's none of your business. I think that the person probably

  • knows already that they've gained some weight. I don't think that they have known this for the first time when you've told them:

  • -"You've gained some..."

  • -"I've gained some weight? Really? I haven't noticed. Thanks a lot."

  • People know that they've done this, so you don't need to point it out to them.

  • They know this.

  • Be very careful with this one, please:

  • -"Are you pregnant?"

  • -"No, I'm just fat."

  • Be really careful with this one. Maybe someone's got some extra pudge around their tummy,

  • maybe they've enjoyed one too many Guinness' on the patio over the summertime.

  • And this is is worse for women, they've got a bit of a gut, big tummy there.

  • Never ask a woman if they're pregnant. Maybe they are pregnant, but chances are if they are pregnant, they

  • would have told you already. It's kind of important news. If you're close to the person,

  • they'd probably send you an email and say: "I'm pregnant." Facebook would be a good indication of:

  • "I'm having a baby. Look at my tummy." Usually if your friend who's a girl is pregnant,

  • you're going to hear about it, especially on Facebook.

  • So never ask a woman if she is pregnant.

  • Even losing weight, some people lose weight, and this is not a good thing. Maybe they are

  • sick, maybe they have cancer.

  • How cool would you feel if someone said: -"Oh, hey! You've lost weight. You look great." -"Yeah, I'm dying of cancer."

  • -"Oh." So, be careful about the weight issue.

  • Don't even talk about it, because the people know. Mm-hmm, believe me.

  • One of our really, really bad things about... Only one of them. About our society is there's

  • a lot of pressure on mostly women to look pencil-thin, Angelina-Jolie-skinny, so it's

  • hard enough that we have to deal with this on a daily basis. If you read those disgusting

  • fashion magazines, we don't need other people telling us that we're not living up to the

  • Photoshopped beauty that you see at the checkout counter. Mm-hmm. That was a Chinga.

  • So, the next thing you want to do is looks. Okay? Maybe you didn't wear makeup one day,

  • ladies, or you just... You... I don't know, you're just hanging out and someone says:

  • -"Oh my god, are you okay? You look tired."

  • -"No, I'm not tired actually. Why?"

  • -"You look tired." -"Oh, well, I'm not tired."

  • -"You look hung over."

  • Hung over means that you drank too much the night before, and the next day you feel like shit, which is not good at all because pooh is pretty bad.

  • -"Hey, you look older."

  • -"I am older. Obviously I'm older than the last time I saw you."

  • What a redonkulous thing to say.

  • -"You look like shit." -"Thanks." If the person does look bad,

  • they probably have looked in the mirror and gone:

  • "Ah, I look bad today." It's cool. Again, they probably see this in themselves.

  • You don't need to tell them this. Now, if it's your friend, by all means:

  • "Oh my god, you look terrible. What happened?"

  • Because it's your friend and you... You're good. You can talk to them and they'll help you.

  • But if it's a lady that you're trying to impress,

  • no. Just say: "Hi", and smile or something.

  • This one's a doozy, which means it's really, really, really important:

  • "What's wrong with your voice?"

  • Maybe: "What's wrong with your face?"

  • Maybe some people... I've seen some

  • people that are burn victims, so their face has different skin tones. They have... There's

  • a really famous model now that's got skin grafts, and her face is like different colours. Really cool.

  • You would never ever say to someone that has something like different about their face:

  • -"Hey, what's wrong with your eye? Why doesn't it work?"

  • -"It's glass. Okay?"

  • So you can't... Do not point out people's flaws.

  • "What's wrong with your nose?"

  • Maybe they had a nose job that got really blotched, which means it was really bad, and they look like

  • Michael Jackson before he died and his nose is really bad. He knows his nose is bad. You don't need to point it out, okay?

  • -"What's wrong with your voice?"

  • -"I talk like this all the time."

  • -"Oh." A little embarrassing for you. I'm trying to help you guys not embarrass yourselves.

  • I'm doing you a good thing.

  • This next word, you probably know the word "acne". Right? Maybe. We have a slang word for it,

  • it's "zits" or more of a doctor word "pimples". But acne, zits, and pimples are the same.

  • So I get pimples, I get zits, I get acne. People say:

  • -"Ronnie, what's that red thing on your nose?"

  • -"I'm Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer." Okay? It's a zit. It's a pimple.

  • I know I have it on my nose, you don't need to ask me what it is.

  • It's not like I didn't know it was there. So, if you see something a little different about someone,

  • don't embarrass yourself, don't make them feel uncomfortable. If you are really dying

  • to know what's happened to them, start a conversation with them. When you become friends, maybe

  • they will tell you what happened. But this is a really, really complex subject that you

  • should not just talk to people who are strangers.

  • To end my story, one thing you should not say to ladies, this. My friend and I were in a pub and

  • we were talking to a guy, not even a gentleman yet, and he thought that

  • he was... Oh, he was quite friendly with us, wasn't he? He thought he was really funny,

  • and he thought that he was our pal or our mate, and when he was leaving, he said:

  • "Later Bitches."

  • Huh, what, dude? Did you just call us "Bitches"? That's awesome. Don't do it.

  • I don't care how well you think you know the person.

  • Just don't refer to ladies as bitches. It's not going to work.

  • Later.

Hi. I need to talk to you guys about something. It's important, especially if you're going to talk to a lady.

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