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  • a lab just discovered a cell that might be quite literally the cure for cancer.

  • Yeah, and get this.

  • It was found completely by accident.

  • It was an accident.

  • They found a plastic.

  • Could you believe that?

  • Andy?

  • It's crazy.

  • By accident.

  • They found Yeah, completely by accident.

  • Yeah.

  • Yeah.

  • And this is such an important story that I had to invite the people responsible to come on the show and talk about it.

  • Please.

  • Welcome via satellite, Dr Murphy and the intern who accidentally found the cell.

  • Jacob, Welcome.

  • Welcome to our show is very exciting.

  • Yeah.

  • Thank you for having us, Conan.

  • I dedicated 15 years of my life to intensive gene therapy in the fight against cancer.

  • It's just a nano to present my research.

  • That's just incredible.

  • But get this straight, Jacob.

  • You were the one who actually discovered the cure.

  • Yeah.

  • Dude, it was me.

  • Total accident.

  • First day on the job.

  • How funny.

  • Isn't that funny?

  • An intern just shows up and sees the one who finds it.

  • Yeah, Okay.

  • Well, Jacob walk us through how it happened.

  • Okay, Well, I was actually in the lab that day because I failed micro biology last semester.

  • So I just like I chose in the internship at random.

  • And then I was looking through the, um What's the thing?

  • Ah, microscope.

  • Microphone.

  • Yeah, and and then one of the things looked like weird.

  • What's he called?

  • Cell s O.

  • So what tipped you off that this cell was different?

  • Oh, well, the other cell thing is re normal.

  • And then I saw this other one and called Dr Murphy over to make it look at it.

  • Yeah, regular cells have on asymmetric membrane.

  • And then there was one cell that looked like a boob.

  • Okay.

  • Yeah.

  • And now I'm the guy who found the cure for cancer.

  • Yeah.

  • Okay.

  • I mean, Jacob, this is crazy.

  • You're name is gonna be in history books, and you're definitely getting a Nobel prize.

  • So after that crazy discovery, Jacob, what did you do for the rest of the day?

  • Ah, I think I probably like jerked off and went to bed.

  • I m I t you know what's great, Jacob?

  • Because you found the potential cure.

  • You get to name it, all right?

  • Oh, man.

  • And every thought of that I have I'm gonna name a Jeff.

  • I have a buddy named Jeff, and he loves boobs.

  • Well, uh, congratulations, Jacob.

  • And I'm sorry.

  • What was your name again?

  • Dr.

  • Eded.

  • Murphy, P 80.

  • Okay, wait.

  • We should definitely hang sometime.

  • Hey, that'd be great.

  • I'd love to hang out with you anytime.

a lab just discovered a cell that might be quite literally the cure for cancer.

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