WORLD MICHAEL BLOOMBERG FORMALLY ENTERED THE DEMOCRATIC

PRESIDENTIAL RACE. BECAUSE IF THERE'S ONE THING PEOPLE LOVE

RIGHT NOW ITS BILLIONAIRES. BLOOMBERG'S SLOGIN

IS REBUILD AMERICA.

BECAUSE APPARENTLY IT HAD A MUCH BETTER RING TO IT THAN WELL, ON

SECOND THOUGHT I GUESS I WILL RUN FOR PRESIDENT.

(LAUGHTER) AS PART OF THIS ANNOUNCEMENT

BLOOMBERG EXPLAINS THAT HIS CAMPAIGN WILL BE ENTIRELY

SELF-FUNDED.

HE IS TELLING VOTERS HE DOESN'T WANT THEIR DONATIONS.

WHICH IS A HUGE BLOW.

TO ALL OF THOSE PEOPLE WHO LOVE GIVING THEIR HARD-EARNED MONEY

TO MEGA RICH WALL STREET C.E.O.S.

NOW BLOOMBERG MADE HIS FORTUNE BY STARTING A MEDIA CORPORATION

AND OVER THE WEEKEND HIS NEWS DIVISION ANNOUNCED THEY WILL NOT

INVESTIGATE BLOOMBERG OR ANY OTHER DEMOCRAT IN THE RACE.

WHICH EXPLAINS WHY DONALD TRUMP ANNOUNCED TODAY THAT HE WILL NOW

BE RUNNING AS A DEMOCRAT.

(LAUGHTER) EVEN THOUGH HE'S LATE TO THE

RACE A LOT OF EXPERTS SAY THAT BLOOMBERG HAS A REAL CHANCE TO

GET THE NOMINATION AND IT JUST GOES TO SHOW YOU, ALL YOU NEED

TO BECOME PRESIDENT IN THIS FREE DEMOCRACY IS A BILLION DOLLARS

AND COMPLETE CONTROL OF A MEDIA CONGLOMERATE AND YOU'RE FINE.

MEANWHILE PRESIDENT TRUMP VISITS THE WHITE HOUSE TODAY WELCOMING

A SPECIAL VISITER, CONAN THE HERO DOG.

YOU REMEMBER CONAN FROM A RECENT OVERSEAS MILITARY RATE, THERE IS

CONAN WITH PRESIDENT TRUMP AND VICE PRESIDENT PENCE.

LOOK HOW BIG TRUMP IS SMILING.

LOOK AT THAT.

HE'S JUST REALLY EXCITED TO FINALLY HAVE A VISIT FROM

SOMEONE WHO CAN'T TESTIFY AGAINST HIM.

THE G WAS GIVE ENA MEDAL AND A PLAQUE OR AS CONAN THE DOG CALLS

IT A CHEW TOY AND ANOTHER CHEW TOY.

HE WAS ACTUALLY SO WELL BEHAVED DURING THE OVAL OFFICE

APPEARANCE THAT MIKE PENCE GAVE HIM A TREELT AFTERWARDS.

NOT THE DOG, DONALD TRUMP.

YOU ARE A GOOD BOY.

YOU ARE A OD BOY, YES, YOU ARE.

YES, YOU ARE.

(APPLAUSE) MOVING ON.

HERE'S A CRAZY STORY OUT OF GERMANY.

EARLY THIS MORNING THIEVES SUCCESSFULLY ROBBED A MUSEUM AND

GOT AWAY WITH A RECORD 1.1 BILLION DOLLARS IN JEWELS.

POLICE SAY TO BE ON THE LOOKOUT FOR ANYONE CARRYING 1.1 BILLION

DOLLARS IN JEWELS.

(LAUGHTER) THE JEWEL THIEVES ARE CONSIDERED

ARMED AND ROGUISHLY DASHING.

HER'S THE THING.

YOU HAVE GOT TO APPRECIATE A GOOD OLD-FASHIONED JEWEL HEIST.

CRIMINALS TODAY, THEY'RE ALWAYS ON THEIR COMPUTERS, THEY'RE

HACKING STUFF AND STEALING DATA.

ISN'T IT JUST NICE STO SEE SOMEONE ACTUALLY GET OUT THE

HOUSE AND STEAL SOMETHING REAL FOR ONCE?

IT'S LOVELY.

AND FINALLY WE WANTED TO TELL BUT THIS.

A WOMAN IN ARGENTINA RECENTLY RESCUED AN ABANDONED KITTEN ONLY

TO LEARN TWO MONTHS LATER THAT HER NEW PET WAS ACTUALLY A WILD

MOUNTAIN LION.

THE WOMAN BECAME SUSPICIOUS WHEN THE KITTEN BROUGHT HOME A

FULL-SIZED ANTELOPE.

(LAUGHTER) SHE WAS HAPPY WHEN THE KITTEN

TOOK CARE OF HER MOUSE PROBLEM.

SHE WAS A LITTLE CONCERNED AFTER IT ALSO TOOK CARE OF HER LOUD

NEIGHBOR PROBLEM.

(LAUGHTER) THE WOMAN HAD TO GIVE THE

MOUNTAIN LION AWAY TO AN ANIMAL RESCUE FACILITY BUT THE GOOD

NEWS IS SHE'S ALREADY ADOPTED THIS BRAND NEW PUPPY.