And I'd lovetosharethefactthatforme I had a chancetogonotonlythroughhisquestbutthroughhisadvancedcreativityandpersonalmasteringcourse, whereyoustartlookingateveryaspectofyourlife.
Andwhatwe'regonnabebuildinginthisepisodeis a containerforthosewhowerelookingtobecomeinspiringleaders.
Thisisreallyclosetomebecause I'm alsosomeonewhoseektobeaninspiringleaderandwhathashappenedthroughmycrossofworkingwithProfessorRowisthat I'vebecomeinspiredineverydaylifeactivitiesthat I doindoingwhateveritisthat I needtobedoinginmakinganimpactwhen I hopethatyou'regonnabegainingbytheendofthisepisodeis a lowerlevelofstressandyou'rechasingofthegoalsofmaking a biggerimpact.
I alsoknowthatyou'regonnarealizethatyoudonotneedtogooutandmanipulatepeopletobeabletocreate a movementbysimplysteppingintothegreatestpotentialofwhoyouarebeinginspiredintheprocess, youwillbeabletomovemountains.
Andsoit's withgreatpleasurethat I bringformerteacherand a BIAprogramsaroundtheworldwhohashadthemostsoldoutcoursesthathaschangedthelivesofsomanypeopleatsomanylevels, you'regonnabeabletolearndirectlyfromhim.
Sowe'recreatingcontainerhere, soWe'retalkingaboutbeinganinspiringleader, andwhat I wantedtogiveanopportunityforpeopletounderstandis a lotoftheconceptsthatyoubringareactuallybasedonsomeancientmethods, someyourmethods.
There's somethingthat I usedtodowhen I was a beginningpublicspeaker, andthatisthataskedmyaudiencehowmanyifyouwanttobeinspiringleadersandvirtuallyeverybodywouldputthehandsup, butthat I'd say, Ifyouwanttobeaninspiringleader, you'reonlywell, itwantsforthewrongpath, andtheycanhavetheirarmsup.
I don't dothatanymorebecausenot a goodideatoembarrassyouraudience, butthepointisveryvalid.
Ifyousetouttobeaninspiringleader.
Whatyou'rereallysayingis, I wanttohavepeopledowhat I wouldlikethemtodo, whichperhapstheydon't wanttodoso.
I'vegottofigureouthowtogetpeoplewhodon't wanttodowhat I wantthemtodo, todowhat I wantthemtodo, whichisessentially, I gottalearnhowtomanipulatepeoplepushingit a littlebithere.
Ifyouwanttobeaninspiringleader, giveupallthoughts, hopes, dreamsofbecominganinspiringleaderbutinsteadbeinspired, beinspiredby a visionthatbrings a greatergoodto a greatercommunityandhavetremendousflexibilityindefiningboththegreatergoodonthegreatercommunity.
Butunlessyoucanfindsomethingthat's biggerthanyouaretowhichyoucansubsumeifnotyourwholelife, a least a bigchunkofit, you'renotreallygoingtobecomeaninspiringleader.
It's notsomethingissetouttodosoifyouwanttobeaninspiringleader, first, beinspired, comeupwith a vision, comeupwithsomethingthatbringsthegreatergoodto a greatercommunityandthen, asyoulearntocommunicatethatyoubecomeaninspiringneeded.
Now, I knowyou'veworkedwith a lotofpeopleatvariouslevelsinanorganizationthatprobablycameupwiththatsameaspirationofwantingtobeaninspiringleaderandthenrealizingthisshift, thisnewmethodofgoingokay, No, I needtobeinspiredby a vision.
Wouldyouhave a goodexamplethatwouldallowsomeonewhomightbefindingthemselveswatchingthisgoinglike, Oh, wow.
I feellike I'vebeenchasinganoutcomewithoutthinkingoftheprocess.
Wherewouldthatlooklike?
Well, I haven't workedpersonallythatGandhioverhereis a perfectexampleofsomeonewhostartedoff.
Wehaveanynumberofpeoplewhoareingovernment, inbusiness, innotforprofits, whobasicallyhave a sheerdrivenambition.
I wanttoreachthetop, andcertainlyitispossibleforyoutoreachhierarchicallyhighpositions.
Butinmybook, thatdoesn't reallymakeyou a trueleader, becausethemomentyouloseyourposition, nobodywantstospendanytimewithyouandyoudroppedofftheradar.
That's nottruesuccessinmybook.
It's almostlikethere's a disconnectbetweentheauthenticitycompletelyandsoif I'm sittingandsomebodywhounderstandsthis, I have a visionthat I wanttotransformandforforthebenefitoftheaudience, I don't thinkeverybodyneedstogoasfaras a visionlikeGandhi.
ThiswasmedievalEngland, siteof a greatcathedralbeingconstructed.
Andthearchitectwenttothescene a construction, andhecameacrossthreepeople, allofwhomweredoingexactlythesamething.
Therewas a bigblockofstone, andtheyput a smallerblockofstoneontopofthebigblockofstoneandbeatitwith a hammer.
Toebroke.
Andheaskedthefirstguy, Whatareyoudoing?
Can't yousee I'm breakingrocks?
Whyareyoudoingthat?
I getpaid a hipandofftheday, andthesameguysaid, I'm helpingbuildthewallbehindme, andthethirdguysaid, I'm helpingbuild a greatcathedralandverysowhat?
Peoplearegonnacomefromallovertheworldandtheywillbeinspiredandneverhad a smallroomtoplayinthatthe 3rd 1 wasonlywanttorecognizethearchitectandtruthbetold, I don't likedoingit.
It's backbreakingwork, and I couldgetbetterwageswithlesseffort.
I'm onlydoingitbecause I wantedthem.
Willyouteachmetobuild a cathedral?
And 20 yearsfromthatday, theguywho's breakingrocksdied.
Henolongerhadthestrengthtoswing a hammer, andhestarved.
Theguywhowashelpingbuildthewallbehindhimwasliving a lifeofdesperateformoney.
Buttheguywhowashelpingbuild a cathedralwasonhiswaytobuildinghisfirstcathedral, and I mentionedthisstory.
It's aninspiringstory, butbeithas a veryrelevantmeaning.
Everydaywhenyougetupinthemorning, youhave a choice.
Youcanbreakrocks, oryoucanbuild a cathedral.
I can't defineforyouthecathedralthatyougotobed.
You'retheonlypersonwhocoulddothat.
But I cantellyouthatunlessyoufindanddefinethecathedralthatyou'rebuilding, unlessyoucananchoryoubeinginitsotherAllyouractivitiesflewfromthisknowledgethatyou'rebuilding a caPedroyou'regoingtoliveinessentiallymediocrelife, punctuatedtheflashesofpleasure.
Well, youtake, takemotherhood, forexample.
Perfectexample.
Youknow, youhave a motherandshedoesallkindsofthings.
No, she's caringfor a childwhoisgoingtogrowup, andhe's goingtobepresidentisgoingtodogreatthingsthantreeistheinstrumentthroughwhichthescareandnurtureisbeingpublished.
Andso I wanttorecapthisbecauseit's reallyimportantforpeopletohear a lotofpeoplecomeupwiththeideaofbeinganinspiringleaderastheideathat I needtobeabletomanipulatethepeopletodosomethingthattheymightnotnecessarilywanttodo.
Butif I becomeinspiringenough, I'llbeabletomanipulateittodoit, andthatishavingitcompletelywrong.
Beinspiredbywhateveritisthatyoudo, andyou'llnoticethatyouwillnaturallyjusthave a differentenergyuponhowyoutakeanyactioninyourworkplaceinyourlifethatwilljustdrawnaturallytherightopportunities.
Andyouyoucomeatitwithjust a verypositiveenergy.
Completely, yes, andyou'llfeelit.
Youwill, and I havewentthrough a lotofyourprocess, so I knowwhatthatmeans.
Andso I wanttotouchaboutanotheraspectofunspoiledleaderandthisonespeaksparticularlyforpeopleinmanagementpositionorexecutivepositionor, youknow, a recognizedleadershipposition.
Somepeoplehavehesitationtowardscontinuingontheirpathandgrowingwithintheircareerbecausetheyfeelthatonce I gettotheselevelsofstressbecomes a partofyourlife, youbecomeextremelystressedandyouhavesomanyresponsibilitiesthatitmightnotevengiveyouthequalityoflifethatyouwanted.
Butyouhave a verydifferentopiniononthestresslevelsfor a leadercompletely.
I thinkthattheWestmajorityofpersonsdonotclearlyunderstandwhythey'refeelingstress.
Becauseifyoudon't enjoylifein a verydeepleveleveryday, ifyoudon't comeradiantlyalive, ifnotallthetime, atleast a lotofthetime.
You'rewastingyourlife.
Yourlifeistooshorttowaste.
Andsotheybringthisallaroundisthefactthatforallthepeoplethatare, findthemselvesin a leadershippositionorimaginepositionandyoufeellikethisisgonnaactuallydemandmorestressoutofyou.
Soforsomeonewhoembracesthisprocess, inessence, ifthey'reseeinganopportunitytotakeonmoreresponsibilityas a beer, it's It's just a partoftheprocessthattheycanacceptandnotnecessarilylabelitwiththestress.
That's exactlycorrect.
Amazing.
Sothelastone I wantedtobringup a zabrewforpeoplethatarefindthemselvesintheseauthorityposition.
A lotoftimesit's thepressureabouthavingtonetworkwithpeople, and, umandthenwhenyou'renetworkingwithpeople, it's almostlike, Okay, I needtomeettherightkindsofpeoplethataregoingtoservewhat I needandbeingveryfocusedononLeespeakingtopeoplethataregonnabedeliberatelygiving a benefittoyou, andfromwhat I understandisthatthere's a lotof, youknow, badintentionaroundthatapproach, I wouldn't saybadintointention.
I wouldsaysomethingthatdoesn't serveyouwell.
A numberofpeopleandanybodywho's successfuloranybodywhowantstobesuccessfulwilltellyounetworksareimportant, whoyouknowreallydoesmatter.
Sopeoplegoaroundsaying, Youknow, I'vegottabuildupmynetworknow I'vebeenrunningmyprogramformorethantwodecadesand I wouldsaythatprobably 70% offthepersonsthattakemyprogramfeeluncomfortableatthethoughtofnetworking.
Nowthinkaboutthisfor a moment.
Theverynotion, youknow I shouldhave a powerfulnetworkis a selfservingone, becausewhatyou'rereallysayingis I needtofindpeoplewhoarein a positiontohelpmeinsomemannerandingratiatemyselfwiththem.
Sothinkofthecountlesshoursthatpeoplespendincocktailpartiesandreceptionsand, youknow, firstofthatkindthatyourdeadlyboringifyou'resosuckingtheverynotionthat I shouldhave a powerfulnetworkitselfserving.
Sohere's mytakeWomen.
Ifyouwanttohave a powerful, network, longlastingrelationships, hereisthebestwayforyoutomakethathappen.
Typically, yougetinspiredforanhour, a day, a week, andthenlifegoeson a bigmistake.
Everytimeyou'reinspiredby a personthat's theuniversematchingyouontheshoulderandsaying, Hey, Jason, there's somethinghereforyou.
Sowhat I advocateinmyprogramiseverytimeyou'reinspired, writeitdown.
Who's thepersonwhoinspiredyou?
Whatwasthispersondoing?
Wheredidyoulearnaboutthispersonandputitdown?
Keep a diaryforthispurposeonly.
Andifyoudothat, thenthere'llbe a numberofintereststhatgobacktothethoseentriesafterfourorfiveweeksandseewhichofpeaceworsenscontinuestoinspireyou.
Andthosearethepersonsyoureachouttoreachouttothatpersonwith a sincerenote.
Foryears, all I learnedaboutyouand I reallyappreciatewhatyou'redoingandcomeupwith a specificofferofhelp, andthereasonyou'reofferinghelpisifyourofferisacceptedandyoucalledupontodeliver, thenyou'redoingsomethingtomaketheworld a betterplaceandthatisitsreward.
Andifyoureachoutregularlyinthatwayandinmyprogram, I have a systematicschedulewherebypeopledothison a regularbasis.
Someoffyouroffersofhelparegoingtobeaccepted.
AndasyouDelhi, wherewhatyoupromise, you'llfindthatyou'reautomaticallybuilding a networkofverydeep, verylonglastingrelationships.
It's a muchmoreefficientprocess, andyouneverhavetodoanythingthatyou'reuncomfortableaboutbecauseyoudon't reachoutto a personunlessyou'regenuinelyinspite.
And I canthinkbecause I'vebeenin a positionwhere I'vehadtodo a lotofoutreachandwhatyouspeakaboutis, itseemstoconfirmallofthetimesthat I'vehadsuccessfulconnectionswithpeopleareusuallybecause I'veactuallyspentthetimetofindsomethingaboutthemwhichinspiredmeandthenwhen I reachout, actuallygenuinelycanrefertoit.
And I can't eventhinkofallthetimesthatitmadeherreachoutbecause I was.
Let's say I hadanobjectivetoreachoutto a certainperson, which I didn't haveanykindofinspiration.
Thatitwas.
Itwasfeltinthewaythat I communicated, andsotheresultwasexactlywhattheexpectationwas.
Absolutelyyes.
Andsoforthepeoplethatarein a positionwheretheyneedtoactivelynetwork, let's sayyou'rein a way, it's a salesposition.
Imagineposition, andyoudon't wanttobejusttryingtobuildyournetworkoutof a selfinterest.
Andinthetimethatwehavetogether, whatisitthat I candotohelpthispersonimprovehislife?
Evenifit's a simplething, likebring a smiletohisface, evenifit's a simplething, likeaskinghimwhathedoesbecauseyouwanttoknownotbecauseyouwanttosellhimsomethingorgettingtodosomethingthatwouldbeadvantageousyouonehumanbeingtohardtoreachourHowcan I helpmakeyourlifebetter?
Andthat's theonlyintentyouhave.
Andcontinuedoingthatwithanyinteractionwiththecabdriverwhotakesyoutotheairportwiththenewstandwindowfromwhomyoubuy a newspaperwithyourcolleaguewho's having a problemathome.
Justtalk a lotofsayingyousayanythingthat I coulddothatwouldmakethisperson's lifebenefit, wouldraisehisorherlevelofconsciousnessandmakethat a policy.
Youwillfindthatthepersonyou'rereallyenrichingusyourself, and I thinkintheprocessofbeing a leader, You'realsosomeonethat's beingsoinspiredyou'realwaystakingtocontinuouslygrow.
Andsooneofthethings I wantedtobringupinthecontextofleadershipaswellisthatthewholenotionofdecisionmakingandwhenyou'rein a leadershipposition, you'reresponsibleformakingdecisions, and a lotofpeoplefeellikethere's hesitationaroundmakingthesekindsofdecisionsbecausetheydon't wanttomake a wrongdecision.
Whataresomeofthewaysofhavingthismentalchatterthatkindofbringspeopleinto a standstillwhenitcomestodecisionmakingis a leader.
Andmybeliefisthatwhenyou're a leader, yououghttotake a decisionwhichbringsgoodtoe a greatercommunityandbygreatercommunity, I mean, alloffthestakeholderscombined.
Now, admittedly, ifyou'redoinggoodonesetofstakeholders, youmightbetaking a littleawayfromanothergroupofstakeholders.
Sothisiswhereyourjudgmentas a leadercomesinaswhatwouldbeanequitablewayoffarrangingthepieorsplittingupthepie.
That's a decisionngafterme, Buttheintentionshouldbe I wouldliketodothebest I can, giventheparticularsetofconstraints I haveandhavingdonethatyoucomeupwith a planandthenyousay, Isthistherightoneorisit?
Andso, intheprocessoflikemaking a decisionhere, ifyourealizeit's a friendlyuniverseandoneofthedecisionyoumakeinwhatevertheoutcomeisisexactlywhatwasneededforthebenefitofwarpartiescombined, andsothattakes a lotofpressureNowpeoplearestillgoingtobemaking a consciousefforttoconsiderthemostamountofstakeholderthemost.
Oh, absolutelyyet.
Andthefactisthatthereisnotnecessarily a wrongchoicebecauseyou'regonnahavethepositiontobemadeatthatmoment.
Exactly.
Correct.
Andso I Thisis a model, bytheway, butit's a fantasticallypowerfulmodel.
I'd likeforyoutoelaborateonthatbecause a lotofpeopleoperatebymodelsandeventhewholeconceptofbeing a leaderaninspiringmeteris a mentalmodelthatchaseforCouldyou, forthebenefitofthepeople, give a bitmoreanideaofWhatisthatwholementalmodelconcept?
Correct.
Okay, I'd liketomake a smallcorrection, Yousaid a lotofpeopleoperateonthebasisofmodelswrong.
Wheneveryoufindyourselfgoingtowards a positionofleadership, itbecomes a lotmoreinyourThechallengeswillcome a lotmoretowardsyouandyou'llhave a lotmoreawarenesstonow.
Inthisprocess, we'veactuallybroughtinthelighton a lotofthesetypicalpitfallsofchasingthiswholeleadershipandkindofmetatmentalityandbeingabletogiveyou a differentmodelsothatyoucanseewhatisgonnacomeuptowardsyouwhileyouarequoteunquotechasingthisonearebetterwaysyoucanlookatitsoyoucanmake a greaterimpactintheworld.
Butifyou'relivingin a realityandyoudon't likeit, youcandeconstructthepartsofitthatyoudon't likeandbuilditupagainandyoudothisoverandoveragain.
Thisis a restoffyourlifeprocess.
Andasyoudothatyouwillsystematicallybuild a betterandbetterlifeforyourself.
Youwillreachhigherandhigherplateausandyou'llbeamazedhowmuchenjoymentthereisn't life.
Somethingthatyoucompletelymissed.
Ifyouwerenotawareofthisprocess.
Amazing.
Andsowhathappenedwithmeis I endedupgoingverydeepinsomeofthecourseswithProfessorRow, and I'vehad a tasteofwhathappenswhenyoustartshakingupthesemodels, and I'm somebodywhohadthisneedofchasingthisopportunitytobeaninspiringleader.
Andwhathashappenedformeisthat I foundmyselfbeingmuchmoreinspiredintheprocess, muchmoreinspiredinthewholeexperienceofwhatisitthat I'm tryingtodotobringeducationtotheworld, toraiseconsciousnesslevels, Andit's been a greatbenefittowardstheinteractions I'vehadthroughyou.
So I hopethatpeoplethatarewatchingthishavehad a similarexperience, a similarshakeupsothatitcanactuallybringsyoudown a pathwhereyou'regoingtobebuildingwhateveritisgonnabeyourimpactyoudointheworldinwhateverwaythatis.
You'restartingwithsomedifferentmodelstoconsiderthatstartwithsuch a strongerfoundation.
I musttellyouthat I'veenjoyedalloffmyinteractionsofMindValley, butthepeoplewhotookmyprogramandthepeoplewhoworkedwithmetoNicholasprogramscomingtobeso I amdelightedtobepartoftheextendedmindMileyfamily.