Oh, justice, althoughsometimesjusticeis a littlehardertodefine.
Sofrom a judgepreventing a manfromhavingthegirlfriendtoforcing a mantoholdup a sideforsixyearsfortoday's video, wecountdownthetopfive.
WeirdestjudgesentencesNumberoneSo 2007.
A manfromTorontowasarrestedforbeatinghisexgirlfriendandthreateningtostabher, butnotbeforeturningthenightonhimselfwhenthepolicefinallyarrivedafterspendingseveralweeksinthehospitalbecauseheseveredoneofhisarteries, hewasalsochargedwithassaultagainsthisexgirlfriendandsentencedtonothave a girlfriendforthreeyears.
Seriously, thatwashisfunny.
Accordingtothejudge, though, theexactpunishmentwasthreeyearswherehecouldnotform a romanticrelationshipofanintimatenaturewith a femaleperson, which, ifyouthinkaboutit, mighthavebeenthebestpunishmentever.
Justimaginetheseverityofthisguy's blueballsIfhe's at a clubandit's like, Heythere.
Yousmokethatsign, yousexuallyharassed a coworkerside, youpeeinpublic, signthateventuallyyoujusthavetomovebecauseeveryoneinyourtalentgonnabelike I knowyou.
You'retheguywhopeesandbubblingright?
ThatwasonetimeWhat a loser.
Butreally, Danielsaysthathesuffersabusefrompeopledrivingbyandsometimesevensympathizedwithyetsympathizewith a guystole 1/4 of a $1,000,000 for a Crimevictimsfund.
I mean, nowayhelpsthefactthatmytireisstillslashed.
Butthankyou.
Hey, whataboutmysweater?
Hereyougo.
Whatthehellisthis?
This, likefivepiecesofstringcrudelygluedtogether.
I hopeyoufreeze, yousonof a bitch.
StevenandyouragetoHunteronmyblock.
FuckingSteven.
EveryasMilesDavis, Stephen.
Apparentlythelastnewsofthisarticlehadheardofher, thoughshecompletedthesweaters, butitmovedonto a retirementhomewhereshe's probablyspendingouttherestofherdayssuddenlytellingherfriends, GertrudeWilfredRoof, abouthowshe's a hardenedcriminalwall.
Itactuallywas a lotoftheinspirationbehindsomeofthecasesthatwementionedtoday.
Butsomeofhisbestsentencesincludeforcing a womantowalk 30 milesaftersherefusedtopay a 30 miletaxifi, forcing a mantodonate £20 ofdogfoodeveryholidayafterheshot a dogmakingtwoteenagerslead a donkeydownthestreetwith a signthatsaysSorryforthejackassoffenseaftertheyspraypainted 666 onJesus, forcingAmandastandwithpigsfortwohoursafterhewasyellingat a compound, callingthepigsandmaking a womanspendthenightinthemiddleofthewoodsaloneaftersheleftsomekittensinthesamewoods.