- [Micaela] Hi Lon

Hey. I didn't say you could come.

Kit go.

Ah.

Come on. You can come.

Yeah, you can come.

All right let's put this on.

Hey guys, how's it going? Long time no chat.

I, uh, today's a beautiful day.

And I wanted to go outside. I wanted to walk the dog.

I wanted to see the Sakura and I also wanted

to just check in and say hi and tell you

how things are going and sort of

talk about the future of this channel.

If that's okay with you.

The last time that I made a video

on this channel we were living

in the countryside in Kyushu and it was

really far away from everything and it was

really hard to live there especially

after my boyfriend quit his job.

Once my boyfriend quit his job to become a freelancer

he was never home and I was pretty much

just stuck out there with the pets

and it, it got really depressing.

So I decided for the sake of my mental health

and also just for the better well-being

of everybody else that we should move back to Fukuoka City.

For me the choice to move back to Fukuoka City

was super simple. Um, it's expanding so fast

and I feel like there's always something exciting

going on here. It's still very easy to live

in comparison to Tokyo and I just love it.

So I think coming back here was definitely

the right choice for us.

(dog whining)

(speaks japanese)

Ready? Let's go. (laughter)

Right now we're living in one of my

favorite spots in Fukuoka City,

right where I think I've always wanted to live.

I've always wanted to live close

to Maizuru and Ohori Park.

It's one of my favorite places in the city.

And now we are a short walk away

and Kit and I can come here anytime.

(soft mood music)

But it feels really good to live here now

and I think I wouldn't have made the decision

and I wouldn't have gotten this far

if I didn't start treating my depression seriously.

I've definitely learned through the past year

that people don't really get what depression is

if they haven't experienced it themselves

and it doesn't necessarily mean I'm like hysterically crazy.

It really just means that, like, after an amount of time

being exposed to things that didn't make me so happy

I forgot what happiness was and I forgot how to feel happy

and I felt like I was constantly

in a state of, like, fight or flight

where it's like, anytime I was faced

with something I didn't like I either shut it out and,

like, shut off my brain and zoned out completely or

I would get really aggressive and that's not

it's not a fun way to live.

(light upbeat music)

Look at how pretty this road is.

There's so many Sakura blooming on this one street.

- [Micaela] Can you sit? Oh you're such a good dog.

You're such a good dog, look at you.

Good boy.

And I do think that it was because I started

handling how I was feeling and dealing with my mental health

I was able to figure out the steps I needed to take

to get my life back in, on track

and feel in control of myself again.

And moving back to Fukuoka, especially moving

central to the city, into a place where

I never have to feel isolated or alone

but I can still have my space if I need it

is like the best of both worlds

and I like it so much more.

I feel like it's one of the best choices,

best decisions I could have made for myself.

So my resolution for this year,

at the very beginning of the year

was to eat healthier and to take

care of myself more and I've been exercising,

I've been kind of trying to lose the weight

that I gained from hibernating the past year.

And, you know just trying to get back

into the things that used to make me happy.

And yeah, one of the things I'm trying

to get back into now is vlogging.

So I've been slowly working on

getting back into vlogging and

you guys might have noticed but I've been doing a few

major projects like travel, tourism related projects

on this channel and for the next week or so

you're going to see a few more videos.

I'm going to upload three I think over the next seven days.

But then after that, from April

it's gonna be, it's gonna be all new.

And I know you've been missing the vlog content.

I know you've been missing the chatty videos

and I just, I was really not confident,

especially when I, when I weighed more (giggles)

but I hope you understand that I

just did not feel comfortable sitting

in front of a camera and being judged when I felt

the lowest I've ever felt in my life.

- [Woman] (japanese) You're home. How was your walk?

- [Micaela] Hi Lon. (speaks japanese)

All right, so, we're home now.

I'm about to throw this SD card into my laptop,

edit this vlog and throw it online.

It's the first time in a really long

that I've shot a vlog and edited it and uploaded it

and sub-titled it on the same day

so it's gonna be a grind but I am really

looking forward to, to saying hi to you guys,

letting you know that I did miss you.

I just, I couldn't handle the criticism for awhile

and I hope that you could understand why

cuz the internet, it can be a very, it can be a toxic place.

Finally, I just want to remind you again that

this week there will be three,

Japan experience, travel type videos going up

and I hope that you guys are okay with that.

I know that you've been missing the vlogs

but I want to assure you, promise you

that I missed you too and I will be back soon.

Thank you so much for watching. (kissing) Bye.