Subtitles section Play video Print subtitles guys. Oh, my God. I just did a way. Podcast. Jillian Michaels. It was incredible. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. She could be diet tips. We talk dirt about Everything is incredible. Go check it out. How did you enjoy it? Oh, it was good for me. Have you guys okay? This video is going to be fucking weird. Nothing. Remember a few weeks ago I got the Kris Jenner cookbook and I sent this. If you want me to do a video where I just make recipes and try them from this book, give me a thumbs up sign. No, I really want Krista Fuck up. My body will be careful what you wish for, bitch. Because today I'm gonna be Kris Jenner, and we're gonna cook us some food. I didn't see that. It's May who? Oh, wow. Yeah. I mean, he's making Kris Jenner. Now I know what you're thinking. What happened to this bitch? The answer. I don't know, but I am wearing a whole box of Kylie's highlighters. You almost can't tell I'm dead. Welcome to my kitchen. I've never been in here. Let's do a tour. This is sometimes I forget how strong I am a lot of built up anger in there. This is a cabinet that I keep. Wow, a lot of medicine. I don't know if you can see that, but Mama's sick. I'm actually dying. Also, I get a lot of diarrhea. This is almost empty. Anyways, I'm so glad you joined me in my kitchen. I'm very excited to cook up a meal for you. Fat box. Now let's go over to my other camera to show you. Booth, What we have here is another one. Fine. Both Kris Jenner and all things Kardashian. Wow. Did you get that? Okay, let's move that along. And, oh, what is that? More product? This is called Karna Machine Glow. I really don't know what There's no way we should buy. This is I don't know, but I have my name on it. But let's get to the cookbook now. I love cooking. My favorite part of it is holding enough. I love getting much carrots, laying him out on my counter and naming them Oh, I don't know. Kim Khloe, Kourtney, Kylie Kendall. And then I just Anyways, let's look inside. Oh, these Look, Nicole's chicken nachos. I don't know who that is. But yeah, this is the first dish. I think when I think of Nicole Brown since I guess I make not chose to remember my friend who was murdered by O. J. Who that is dark. I don't even have any jokes for that. Word is gonna move on. Okay, Number one position Iraq in the center of the oven and preachy. I don't wanna do that. I don't know any one of the employees I pay who all are secretly planning to kill. May I'll figure it out. We need to pay. Ooh. I don't know what happened to this pan, but that's what it looks like when I cough. Okay, I'm just gonna rip this out in a medium bowl. Mix together. Tomatoes, scallion, tal. Oppose. Cooking is boring. When three, some like everything was going great. But we were having trouble coming up with a name for our show. One day, one of our crew members was late and he said, I'm so sorry I'm late. I'm just having a hard time keeping up with the Kardashians. Everyone stop talking. There was total silence. Everyone turned and stared at her and said, what then she got it. Oh, my God, That's it. Keeping up with the Kardashians. That's magic. What do we do? It? You know, sometimes when I'm in the bathroom and I make a bagel, Dukie, I say, That's it. That's my current mood way, Ally five. Okay, medium bowl something. Tomatoes, scallions off. Okay, so let's take the tomatoes Were supposed to cut them into chunks. What remembers that? It's called her caveman. Now, I don't have a knife because I'm not allowed, But I do have sensors. Now let's jump up. You're looking beautiful cake. I'm so happy for you. I'm so happy that you're happy. I'm not at all bitter or angry What you did to me, You let may. Now you're done. Now that that's done, we're gonna jump up these things. I don't know what these are, but they kind of remind me of my daughters. That's better. Get all this cut goes up to They love each other. Caitlin. Kids. Okay, now you don't. Mom. Mom! Some random rapper guy she met in a club. And every once in a while, while they're fucking, he accidentally called her man. It's not this fall. His name is dead because she was very old and I reminded him of her. That's got more. Mmm. That looks good. I like to call the tops of the onions, Courtney, because they're useless. All right, now we just mix it in the jalapenos. Who, whoever it is is gonna have to keep up with toilet. Gotta keep up with clever. All right, Now that that's all mixed together, we're gonna take our big play. It puts chips on. So I got a bag of party size chips. I remember when I used to have parties. No one showed. Paparazzi came, though. Love them. Tingling at a party. Jenna birthday. Barney didn't invite me. That's my invitation. Got lost in the mail. Or so I lost in the female. I don't wanna be triggering. Now that we have our chips on a platter and everything's going great, we're just gonna pour on our family. Delicious. Not at all. Hey, pull and awful. And money hungry. Big, Which let's put some money on these. No, I got plenty money because I didn't want riel money on it, man, because I would never put real money inside of my mouth. Only my ass and that's to keep it safe. Just Sprinkle those fifties for the top of this beautiful nacho platter. All right, what's next? Oh, God, G, this is sharp cheddar. I like cheese. That has a name that reminds me of knives. You know, shark. Everybody thinks I fuck Scott Disick. All right? Or all that cheddar. Now we're just gonna add on the mozzarella. All right, now, cheeses on there. Oh, fuck for not chicken. I bought a whole chicken from routes. I don't know who he is, but he was filled with a lot of gross people going to Ralphs reminded me of back when I was poor. I just don't understand people who can't afford private jets. How do you get around? So I don't really know how to. Deep on the chicken, I'm guessing that means river, the flesh off the bones, which once again I fantasize about with my kids. So let's pretend chickens kind. Wow, you're doing So you're making kids selling. You have your own show. Isn't that great? I love my Children. Oh, perfect. Let's just take some of Kylie skin and shred it up on top of these nachos. All right? Now that the chicken is Jesus to put in the other. Now, this is my favorite part. I like to watch my family bird. If you listen real clubs, you can hear him all screaming. All right, now, first we have to wash off Kylie. It's called me Tiger. I want to take somebody with an animal name, maybe hip. Just a big fat wrapper. I fucking hippo If it gave me money. Wait, Let's read another excerpt from my book. Can just gonna open up a random page and start reading here. It was pretty funny. And we laugh about it. Sure enough, I got pregnant. I love that. I love laughing. Getting pregnant, having the baby, feeling it with the money. Like it's a little pin Yata breathing it with a stick until it starts. Papa. Now hundreds. Sometimes I fantasize about filling up a baby like a turkey, shoving it with diamonds bunny. And then just what do you dream about? Leaving the comments? Blouse Not ready. Oh, my God. Guys, look, we have a guest. So while I was cooking the not look rolled it. Hi. What do you think of my look? You look fabulous. Great. Can't wait. Fuck you. You ready for Chris? Janet? A fuck you? You know what somebody needs to try by nachos. You want to give him a try? How about if kindly tries my nachos? Hey, Kylie. Want to try my nachos? Yes, I have some questions for you first. Kylie, your tiger. You call him Tigger. And what do you do? Hey, you want to get the nachos out of Just ease your hands. No, you don't need a glove. It's fine. You're made of David. Wow, Those look. Alright, Kylie, Here's what we're gonna do. You're gonna eat these growths. Probably toxic nachos, and Mama's gonna laugh. All right, Well, first we got a car in sour cream morning covering my family. Why? I could see how we make our money. Guess which part you are now You're chicken. Oh, that looks good. Seriously, Mom, I haven't got, like, 30. What do you have to do? Lip kit? Promise. You know, sometimes I have daydreams where I think about you dating an actual tiger, and then it all right. This is kind of like your family's confident blood. That's my favorite. Which part do you think it's Candle now. She didn't make the cut. She's in the sink, Rob. That was his name. His power. Now he's not even here. All right, here we go. Oh, yeah. I'm gonna make you the perfect piece. Let's get a big piece of cheese dip that ride in the sour crave on it. Slick, sparking girl. Can't forget to put little 50. I am not eating that money. Don't act like this is the first time you've got 50 in your mouth, Remember? 50 set, remember? Go, Shorty. It's your birthday. You know, I remember. I thought I remembered would spot anyways. All right, here we go. Let's get a nice close up. You first. No, I think you should. I think it's nice for a mom to feed her child. Remember when I breast fed you? I mean, I'm trying to breast feed Chloe and she bit my TV. Alright. Here we go. Yeah. Don't Kardashians, don't spit Jenner Swallow the shit out of me. Sell it! How? You have a cookbook? I don't know. Come on, give a review and honest review. It's really great. Like everything that we make as Kardashians General, what do you think? Candles doing? She's so pretty. You know what we should do? Let's go to the doctor. I have a few more ideas. I was thinking we could chop off the stupid head. I could take it. I could just play basketball with That would be fun. Is that Fred Friendly. And I'm gonna get ads on this video. I think you started drinking again. You know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna be Oh, you ungrateful bitch. Well, guys, cooking show. Hope you enjoy it. Let's see how it feels to be my daughter. I look old men sure to give this baby. Oh, big old thumbs up. Kind of like I do what I want, my child make a sex tape chop, honey. Also make sure to subscribe. My chill hit. That notification I really enjoy. Today was great. You know, before we go, let's just get one more. Look at those beautiful nachos. That's a reading. You know, get this book on Amazon, which is where I used to live back in the 18 hundreds. Anyways, let's read one last passage. I never imagined that my neck lift would be so life changing now. But seriously, Goodbye. You guys go. That was me. I don't even know what that was. I just wanted to try something different. Uh, I wanted to scare you. Finally coming back. Over. Let's say goodbye. Oh, you Oh, my God. This is sexually confusing me in a way that I haven't seen yet. You're saying you look like someone at Coachella? That dive? You look like you went to those under 18 clubs and die. You look like Dan and fell If they die. This is great. Guys. Enjoy this video on what the fuck? Itwas but let me note down the comments. If you want me to do any more weird fucking creepy videos, I don't know. All right, I'll see you next week.
B1 kylie jenner kris fuck kardashians chicken KRIS JENNER COOKING SHOW! (Parody) 4 0 林宜悉 posted on 2020/03/24 More Share Save Report Video vocabulary