If you are familiar with my videos, you know how the exercise works.

We're going to read a band nine s a paragraph by paragraph.

After we read a paragraph, you will be presented with two versions of each sentence.

In that paragraph, you need to recall and identify the accurate form of the sentence to rebuild the essay.

Today's question is this.

Many people believe that a large proportion of a country's health budget should be diverted from treatment to spending on health, education and preventative measures.

To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Give examples from personal experience where appropriate.

Here is the introduction paragraph in the Band nine essay.

Modern medicine has evolved along two lines prevention and cure.

Many believe that too much emphasis is placed on the ladder and that the balance of national health spending should shift to prevention.

I am inclined to agree.

However, my support is with the stipulation that an imbalance in the other direction is avoided.

Okay, so here's the first sentence from that paragraph you need to identify Thesent.

Insua just saw the sentence that is most accurate for the essay.

So the first instance of the sentence reads.

Modern medicine has evolved along two lines.

Prevention and cure or modern medicine had evolved along two lines, prevention and cure.

And the correct selection is thief first instance of the sentence.

The second, which has passed perfect so past Perfect is used to indicate one event in the past that happened before another, which is not what we're doing here.

So this is not the the correct instance of the sentence sentenced to Many believe that too much emphasis is placed on the ladder and that the balance of national health spending must not shift to prevention.

Or many believe that too much emphasis is placed on the ladder and that the balance of national health spending should shift to prevention and the correct answer is sentenced.

Number two.

The first sentence is grammatically accurate, but it contradicts itself, and this makes the sentence confusing.

Ladder is with reference to cure, so the use of must not is like saying the overemphasis of cure means support for prevention should be avoided.

Here's the third sentence in the essay I inclined to agree.

However, my support is with the stipulation that an imbalance in the other direction is avoided or I am inclined to agree.

However, my supporters, with the stipulation that an imbalance in the other direction is avoided and the correct answer is sentence number two.

The verb incline is used to indicate support of a position.

This past simple use suggests my support for this position may be over or finished, which does not make sense given the rest of sentence.

Okay, here's the first supporting paragraph.

Many modern diseases that require pharmaceutical or surgical intervention such as diabetes, heart diseases and cancer, are induced by poor lifestyle choices.

There is an abundance of evidence that these conditions are brought on by such factors as smoking, excessive dietary fat and sugar and a lack of physical exercise.

I have myself lost several family members to cancers and heart disease caused by smoking.

Because the cost of treating these diseases is very high and the prognosis is uncertain, the need for preventative intervention is clear.

All right, let's look at the first sentence that appears in this paragraph, which is the correct instance of this sentence.

Many modern diseases that require pharmaceutical or surgical intervention such as diabetes, heart diseases and cancer are induced by poor lifestyle choices.

Or many modern diseases that require pharmaceutical or surgical intervention such as diabetes, heart diseases and cancer are reduced by poor lifestyle choices.

So the first instance is the correct answer here.

The word reduce would mean poor lifestyle choices cause diseases to diminish or gets smaller in size, which is, of course, in an accurate statement induced means to bring about.

So here it is used to show the link between poor lifestyle choices and modern diseases, and thus the first instance of the sentence is correct.

Sentenced number two.

There is an abundance of evidence that these conditions air brought on from such factors as smoking, excessive dietary fat and sugar and a lack of physical exercise.

Or there is an abundance of evidence that these conditions air brought on by such factors as smoking, excessive dietary fat and sugar and a lack of physical exercise.

And the correct answer is instance number two so an instance Number one, the phrase over brought on is most often coupled with by the use of From, as you see here is awkward.

Okay, here's the next sentence.

I have myself lost several family members to cancers and heart disease caused by smoking.

Or I have from myself lost several family members to cancers and heart disease caused by smoking.

And the correct answer is sentenced one.

There is no need for from this is grammatically inaccurate, and it reads very awkwardly the next sentence.

Thus, the cost of treating these diseases is very high, and the prognosis is uncertain.

Need for preventative intervention is clear, or because the cost of treating these diseases is very high and the prognosis is uncertain, the need for preventative intervention is clear and the correct sentence is sentenced.

Number two thus is used to derive a conclusion based on earlier information.

In this sentence, it's use means the cost of treating diseases is high because of information presented in prior sentences, which makes no sense.

Here is the second supporting paragraph.

Fulfilling this need could be exercised in a number of ways.

For one, the government could provide more health and fitness centers and mount of public awareness campaign to encourage people to use them.

In addition to this, taxes could be placed on excessive salt or sugar in processed foods, and special taxes could be added to tobacco products to discourage their use.

I believe that measures such as thes will in the long term dramatically reduced the incidence of certain deadly diseases.

Okay, here's the first sentence in that paragraph.

Fulfilling this need could be exercised in a number of ways, or fulfilling this need will be exercised in a number of ways, and here the correct sentence is number one.

The second sentence uses will, which indicates a set plan.

In this essay, we're making suggestions, so the use of will hear reads awkwardly.

Also, the sentences to follow U's should and could, which are models used to offer advice and suggest possibility.

They do not express certainty.

Here's the next sentence.

For one, the government provides more health and fitness centers and mounts a public awareness campaign to encourage people to use them or for one, the government could provide more health and fitness centers and mount a public awareness campaign to encourage people to use them, and the correct sentence is sentenced.

Number two in sentence number one.

The present simple is inappropriate in this case because this sentence is to be a suggestion.

So the use of the motile could is necessary to indicate this.

Okay, the next sentence.

In addition to this, taxes could be placed on excessive salt or sugar and processed foods and special taxes could be added to tobacco products to encourage their use.

Or in addition to this, taxes could be placed on excessive salt or sugar and processed foods and special taxes could be added to tobacco products to discourage their use.

And the corrections is sentenced Number two.

Of course, adding taxes to something would not encourage its use because it would be more expensive and the final sentence in this paragraph.

I believe that measures such as these will in the long term dramatically reduced the incidence of certain deadly diseases.

Or I believe that measures such as thes will in the long term dramatically reduce the resistance of certain deadly diseases.

So here the correct sentences sentenced number one.

The word incidents refers to the number of occurrences of something, so its use here is appropriate.

Reducing the resistance of a disease would increase its susceptibility, which is a good thing.

But this doesn't make sense given the context of the sentence prior.

Here is the concluding paragraph.

However, it should be remembered that not all examples of modern disease are preventable war predictable, and it is critical to maintain research into cures for all diseases.

Thus, in diverting health spending from treatment to preventative measures, countries should encourage a balanced approach to help extend life spans and maximize quality of life.

Prevention may be better than cure, but it can never wholly replace it.

Okay, here's the first sentence in the concluding paragraph.

However, it should be remembered that not all examples of modern disease are preventable or predictable, and it is critical to maintain research into cures for all diseases.

Or however, it should be remembered that not all examples of modern disease are preventable or predictable, and it is crippling to maintain research into cures for all diseases, and the correct sentence here is sentenced.

Number one, something that is crippling is damaging.

So saying that maintaining research is crippling means that research is somehow bad for progress in the understanding of disease, which is simply untrue, and not to the point that we're trying to make here.

Here's the next sentence.

Thus, in diverting health spending from treatment to preventative measures, countries should encourage a balanced approach to help extract life spans and maximize quality of life, or thus, and diverting health spending from treatment to preventive measures.

Countries should encourage a balanced approach to help extend life spans and maximize quality of life, and the correct sentence is sentenced.

Number two.

The word extract means to remove or take out something which in this context does not make sense.

And the last sentence in the essay is, prevention may be better than cure, but it can never wholly replace it.

Or prevention may be better than cure, but one can never wholly replace it.

And here, the correct sentences Sentence number one.

In this instance, one the word one is acting as a pronoun that represents all people.

So in the specific context of this sentence, it is inaccurate and awkward.

So now that we have identified the accurate sentences, weaken string them together into a complete essay.

When unified essay reads, modern medicine has evolved along two lines prevention and cure.

Many believed that too much emphasis is placed on the ladder and that the balance of national health spending should shift to prevention.

I am inclined to agree, however, my supporters, with the stipulation that an imbalance in the other direction is avoided.

Many modern diseases that require pharmaceutical or surgical intervention such as diabetes, heart disease and cancer are induced by poor lifestyle choices.

There is an abundance of evidence that these conditions air brought on by such factors as smoking, excessive dietary fat and sugar and a lack of physical exercise.

I have myself lost several family members to cancers and heart disease caused by smoking.

Because the cost of treating these diseases is very high and the prognosis is uncertain, the need for preventive intervention is clear.

Fulfilling this need could be exercised in a number of ways.

For one, the government could provide more health and fitness centers and mount a public awareness campaign to encourage people to use them.

In addition to this, taxes could be placed on excessive salt or sugar in processed foods, and special taxes could be added to tobacco products to discourage their use.

I believe that measures such as thes will in the long term, dramatically reduced the incidence of certain deadly diseases.

However, it should be remembered that not all examples of modern disease are preventable or predictable, and it is critical to maintain research into cures for all diseases.

Thus, in diverting health spending from treatment to preventative measures, countries should encourage a balanced approach to help extend lifespans and maximize quality of life.

Prevention may be better than cure, but it can never wholly replace it.

I hope you found this exercise helpful.

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