I feel like this would be a good time to tell you that I have a boyfriend.

I hope we could still be friends.

Why didn't you tell me that earlier?

Well, I mean I'm telling you now.

Does it really matter?

I just got out of a relationship, so I need some time.

You're just too nice.

Are we still on for tonight?

Cool.

See you soon.

I'm into older guys.

I just think you're too good for me.

I'm older than you.

Yeah, but like...you don't count.

You're like my gay best friend.

I'm just not interested in anything other than friendship.

You dated my best friend, we can't date.

That was in middle school.

Why can't I find a nice guy like you.

I just think you deserve somebody way better than me.

I'm just too busy these days.

I just don't look at you in a sexual way.

I'm too wild for you.

You wouldn't be able to handle me.

I just gotta focus on myself right now.

I respect you too much to date you.

Have you ever dated a black guy?

Nope, and I don't think I ever will.

You're my bestie!

My ex-boyfriend's been calling me like crazy these past couple of weeks...

My boyfriend is such an a-hole.

...I really don't know if I should respond back or not.

He's such an a-hole.

Maybe if you lived closer.

Maybe if you worked out more.

Maybe if you didn't remind me so much of my ex.

I was thinking maybe we could like go to a movie today, maybe go to dinner.

Ok, yeah!

But just so you know,

I'm paying for myself and this isn't a date.

I don't date guys with tattoos.

I don't have any tattoos!

Yeah, but you seem like a guy that would get tattoos.

I'm a grown man.