One question that was seen on the 14th of January 2017.

If you are looking for more tutorial videos like this one, you can visit my blow.

Get ill sounds dot com, and I'm still running the islets network dot com, which is free to join.

And you can have free feedback on your speaking and you're writing there.

The question that was seen, um, looked something like this.

I received a message from someone from several people actually reported reporting that they saw this question on their exam, and I had someone produced something that I think is probably quite similar to what what was seen.

So we're dealing with three pie charts here, and the task description reads the pie charts below.

Give information about what young people in Australia did after leaving secondary school in 1980 90 90 and 2000.

Summarized information for university lecturer Make comparisons where relevant, So I'll just give you a few seconds to look at the source and the varying bits of data.

Okay, so, um, all three pie charts present thesis aim demographics, so people that went on to become employed after after secondary school people that pursued further education and people that were unemployed and so we can see that s o the employed section, which is this Some whiter section of these pie charts went from 40% to 50% and then to 55%.

So it was It was a growth that sort of decelerated as it progressed over the 20 years in question.

People that pursued further education, they went the opposite direction so 50% to 38% and then more modestly to 37%.

And the unemployed figures were 10% climbing to 12% than dropping to 8%.

So we see three different growth patterns.

One is increasing, one is decreasing and one is a bit more varied.

And so we'd obviously want to use comparative language to make this clear in our our response.

So a couple of points that I want to make before we get started.

Firstly, there isn't much data to work with here, So it's might be a bit of a struggle, actually to to hit 1 50 words or beyond, because if you were just describing the three trends that are present here.

You could do all of that.

You know that?

And three sentences, more or less.

And um and then just tack on 1/4 sentence is sort of like the introduction to it on be finished.

But of course, that wouldn't put you at 1 50 plus words, So we're gonna have to work a little bit with the language in this response to make sure that we are producing a response that is theory required length.

The other thing to remember is that s o The wording is important because it says young people in Australia did after leaving secondary school.

So in the response, we can't say things like the graduates or the people that finished secondary school because we don't.

You know, we're not sure what the status is of these people.

They've left secondary school.

Perhaps they've dropped out of school.

Perhaps they graduated.

So you know, the language has to be a bit more focused when we make reference to these people.

T make sure that we're in line with what the question is telling us.

Ah, And as I was saying that we want to use comparative language.

So we're going to summarize this on dhe.

Then the response makes clear that we're supposed to be comparing the different bits of data.

So we're gonna do that in two different ways.

We're going to compare the difference percentages or the different shares of of thes three pie charts.

And then we're also going to compare the trends, okay, that the three different demographics when the pie charts produce.

Okay, so make note to look for the different some bits of comparative language that you see.

Okay, so in this response, we're going to start with an introduction paragraph to kind of frame how we're going to approach the response.

And I'm actually going to describe everything in one large analyzing paragraph.

You could separate the items into separate paragraphs if you want to, but because the trends or so you know, straight forward, we won't be needing to do anything of that complicated.

So I'm just gonna put it all into into one larger paragraph.

So we start respond something like this, just giving Cem, um, a bit of an overview of what we're looking at.

The three pie charts communicate the status of young people in Australia after leaving, uh, secondary school before the years 1980.

90 92,000 The three partners communicate the status of young people in Australia after leaving secondary school for the years 1918 19 92,000.

And I have the data source in front of me on my desk here.

So I'm just going to, um, move this to a new page just to keep everything nice and organized.

We want to share that.

We're going to be looking at the broad trends on dhe, the more minor menu trends in our response.

So we write something like working friends between these three points in time scene when bye cares.

Okay, okay, So now let's talk about the rates of employment.

So as I was mentioned in the opening of the video, this is a growth that seems it was from 40% 50% to 55%.

There's no need to separate each of these figures into their own sentences.

Weaken.

You know, it's kind of a linear progression, so we can We can describe this in one sentence.

So let's do that.

Rates of employment among post secondary young people again be very careful with the language that post secondary, but we're not mentioning whether their graduates or not because we don't know in Australia rose from 40% in 1986 2 96 connection 82 50% in 1990 and and then before welling further to 55% in bye 1000.

Ah, I asked you just to buy it.

So rates of employment among post secondary in people in Australia rose from 40% 1980 to 50% by 1990 before swelling further to 55% by 2000.

And I mean, you know, if you were really trying to push the the word limit up, you could describe the trend.

That seems, you could say, it's it's, um it's you know, it it it was a trend that decelerated.

You could probably stick that in here somewhere, but I'm ensuring the figures like that.

It's it's kind of, uh, kind of clear that that's what's going on.

Unless, um, substantial.

Um, shift waiting was seen.

Come on, let's change this to be heard among, uh, people stray earlier who saw further education pleading studies.

So and I think that this is a fair assumption that they would have completed their secondary studies to proceed further education, but that, you know, that's not the case for the other two categories.

We wouldn't know.

Okay, so that's kind of like the minor train that's going on, um, the young people who are looking for additional education.

It is sort of It's a similar trend.

It's just moving in the opposite direction.

But you know, it's it is consistently decreasing.

So let's share the specific values.

Um, so let's reference that this this demographic, um, made up 50% of total with 1980 but go 2 38 percent by 1990 further to 37%.

Why 2000?

Okay, so by comparison, now we move into talking about those that are unemployed and just make reference to the growth pattern.

And this is different because it's not linear doesn't just move up or just move down.

So we could use that to help fulfill the requirement for comparative language.

Eso by comparison, young people in Australia, um, identifying as our, uh, that's could be identified as unemployed um followed growth pattern that was more very making up percent full 1980 12% in 1990 and 8% in 2000.

Okay, so I just read the paragraph again to make sure, flowing between sentences, well, rates of employment among post secondary young people in Australia rose from 40% 1980 to 50% by 1990 before swelling further to 55% by 2000.

A less substantial ships and waiting occurred among young people in Australia who sought further education after completing their secondary studies.

This demographic made a 50% of the total in 1980 but fell to 38% by 1990 further to 37% by 2000.

Uh, you could even stick and modestly somewhere and here, just to show that I mean the drop from 50 to 38 that's quite major, dropping 12%.

But then the 10 years following tonight at 2000 you know the drop is only 1% quite modest.

But anyway, by comparison, young people in Australia that could be identified as unemployed followed a growth pattern that was more varied.

Okay, so again, using comparative language here making up and then noticed the common pleas making up 10% of the total in 1980 12% in 1990 and 8% in 2000.

Okay on.

Then we could just hack on that, You know, these growth patterns or something that we might expect to carry on, you know, not indefinitely.

But perhaps just beyond the year 2000.

So it is likely forgot.

It is likely these three differing growth patterns.

Carrie, on similar fashion beyond year 2000.

Okay, so we've very specifically described the three pie charts.

I might It like I was saying, you know, you could add, in a sense, to describe the growth style of people that, um, were employed.

So I mean, I might just do that just to demonstrate to you here, Um, so rates of employment among post secondary young people in Australia um, we could see decelerated.

All right, let's just stay here.

Rising rates decelerated over with 20 years and question, um, let's just say so.

Uh uh.

Lots of anything here.

But you might do that when you go, leave me.

Read three response in the exam room.

So the rising rate of employment among the posting their young people in Australia decelerated over 20 years in question.

Um, so, uh, this this trend this, uh, eso this share rose from 40% in 1980 to 50% by 1990 before spelling further to 55% by 2000.

Okay, so anyway, just, you know, an idea if you ever needed to beef up the word count is too.

You know, you could commit one sense to describing the trend that you see, And then another sense to kind of getting into more of the very specific minute details that make up the trend, right?

Because, as I was saying, I mean this source, you know, it's really not that much information that you need to communicate.

So putting it into 101 150 plus words is it could be a challenge.

So let's read the response from the beginning and s o know what?

The way that the different sentences connect together the way that we're comparing not on Lee the different shares that we see in the pie charts, but also the trends that each different, uh, you know, demographic of people produces.

Okay, So the pie charts communicate the status of young people in Australia after leaving secondary school for the years 1980 19 92,000.

Overworking trends between the three points in time can be seen when the pie charts are compared.

The rising rate of unemployment among post secondary young people in Australia decelerated over the 20 years in question.

Um, this share rose from 40% in 1980 to 50% by 1990 before swelling further to 55% by 2000.

Okay, so just little connectors.

Like when we talk about this share, what share we talking about?

We're referring to the rates that we were talking about in the previous sentence.

Ah, less substantial shift.

So again, comparative language here, right, we're talking.

We're comparing the next topic, which is people that went on to pursue further education to those that went thio into employment.

So a less substantial shift and waiting occurred among young people in Australia who sought further education After completing their secondary studies, this demographic made up again so connected language.

This demographic made up 50% of the total in 1980 but fell to 38% by 1990 further to 37% by 2000 by comparison.

Young people in Australia that could be identified as unemployed again.

So I think, already pointed out by comparison, so young people astray that could be identified as unemployed followed a growth pattern that was more varied, making up 10% of the total in 1980 12% in 1998% in 2000.

It is likely these three different growth patterns carried on in a similar fashion beyond the year 2000.

And I'm sure that that will put us over 1 50 by high like this.

That's 173 words.

That's about where you want to be.

I mean, you don't want it to be too long because you're kind of you're racing against the clock.

But at the same time, you know, you know how much data to work with you got a beef up your response a little bit.

So I hope that that demonstration was helpful.

Please carry on sending me the questions that you see on your exam so that I can produce more videos like this one and please leave a like and subscribe to my channel, and it will hopefully see you at islets network dot com.

Thanks for watching.