The first subject is things you wouldn't hear over Tannoy.

We apologize for the July fuck knows when Brexit happening.

Theo train on Platform three has been cancelled because it said something racist on my way.

Please do not leave your Children unattended.

Unattended Children will be removed and destroyed on.

If you look out of the window on your left, you will see Christ the Redeemer because I've crashed the plane and this is the afterlife thing is cashier number five.

Can I get a price check?

Can I get a price check for one large top of gasoline on one cucumber always.

Okay, He's gone.

Theme A moment.

The flight crew will remind you you're in a metal tube which can fall out of the sky.

Please pay attention that they tell you about a whistle that in no way will save your life.

This is a reminder to smokers.

This isn't no smoking flights.

And this is a reminder to vapors.

You don't look as cool as you think.

You D'oh Amsterdam brothel!

Us would like to apologize for the yelp of pain.

You just heard unexpected item in the shagging area.

Hello.

This is your pilot speaking just to prove that I am not too drunk to use the tile.

Oi, Geoff.

Just a reminder that when we asked you to report anything that doesn't look right, we mentor like terrorist stuff, not just the baby wearing ripped jeans.

So avoid congestion.

Please walk right to the end of the platform through the tunnel, onto the next thing.

Don't forget, you can take advantage of money deals in store today or go with no deal because we're British Way.

If you see something that doesn't look right, please ignore it.

This is England, after all.

See it.

Feel uncomfortable about it?

Sorted.

This is your pilot, Captain Mohammed Kasim.

Psych.

It's John Smith.

This'll is an announcement for the man in the petting zoo.

Heavy petting is not allowed.

Get your tongue out of that llama way!

Just pulled out of Paddington.

Nobody expected 1/3 way.

This is your train driver.

I don't wish to alarm you, but it seems that we have traveled into space now.

Nobody.