And welcome to a game called Jump King.

This I've seen this a lot all over the place because apparently it's the new getting over it with Bennett funding.

Yes, Theo.

New hip happening rage game that all of the boomers air playing because the reflexes airship, We can't planning it.

Don't say there's a smoking hot babe at the top.

That is enough for me, Thio, get into the game Smoking Hot babes are the only reason to get out of bed in the morning.

That fat stacks and millions dollars.

A big parts cocaine legend hasn't.

There is a smoking hot babe at the top.

That's it.

That's all you get?

Ah, they're here.

I can't look like shuttle night.

So you're gonna get that babe, right?

Oh, you bet your big troll knows I am.

Go on, then.

Get up there.

So apparently.

Okay.

Oh, God.

So this is what the game is.

This is how you play is the whole thing.

But it's gonna get really annoying eventually own.

No.

Oh, I didn't know I had to hold the direction and jump at the same time.

Ah!

Oh, yes.

I'm a fucking natural.

I'm a gamer.

Which fuck.

Come on.

No, I'm gonna be here all day baby hears in the next decade Whoa!

So the longer I hold space further a joke And the longer I play this game the worst I'll get it.

I can feel that already.

Eyes, they're like speed runs in this game already online where people were finishing in, like, five minutes.

Say, take So I will not go, You hairy nuns.

Ours.

Okay, watch this.

Uh, yes, but I got a baby.

The baby that back.

How am I supposed to get there?

This is not very top of the morning of Yeah, Okay.

Wait.

Ho ho!

Oh, How socks.

Oh, so close.

Oh, I have it in me.

Oh, God, Yes!

Oh, yeah, baby.

Oh, baby, Rudy's That's sexy.

Hot babe at the top is gonna be mine.

Lee pays later.

Okay?

Is this one of those things that if I die, I start the whole thing over again?

Get out of here.

You affected bird.

Okay, Okay.

Round two, which is thing is making me Oh, so very nervous.

No.

Oh e have lost it.

And I'm about to lose the will to live.

How did I do this before I figured it out?

Oh, I have.

I have the mad hops, the skills would huh Fucker!

Yes.

Okay, okay.

I mean, who All right.

God, I fucking hate this thing is so much harder looking.

Okay, I figured it out.

Speed run tactics for this.

Yeah, baby.

Oh, I surprise even myself.

Back to where we belong.

Where the fuck do I go from here?

What?

There's no way I could get all the way across that, can I?

Yeah.

What?

Yeah, OK, Another one's a fucking red herring, huh?

Oh, I will sacrifice a child to you.

I will do it.

I don't have a child, but he's not one of my own.

But I sacrifice a child's to you.

Just let me get up and over.

Nice backing.

Okay?

What do we need to do that?

No.

00 Don't fuck it up now.

Choices are bouncing off walls now.

Oh, no.

Ah, I'm safe here though, right?

I can't fall any further down unless I missed this 1st 1 Don't jinx it.

Don't even think store fucking commented.

Be there for me, okay?

Okay.

Thank you, Gamers.

Colossal drain like all your mama's.

That's sorry.

I'm all hyped up on adrenaline.

Oh, no.

Oh, no.

Oh, no.

Oh, no.

I, um I gaming God.

Whore of Babylon.

Oh, why have you forsaken me now of all times?

I was doing so well.

The people at home are chanting, Jackie, Jackie, another chance and go Hope go home.

No.

Oh, you fucker.

Oh, the only thing stopping even gouged out my eyes is this glass We've lost all sense of it.

I had it at one point.

I knew how the game works.

And I was like, How How far did I go anymore?

I don't know, Uh, back, I want to do a violence.

I want to do a heck and violence right now, gamer, God's hold me back.

Okay.

And then nice, huh?

Nice.

Nice.

Nice fuck, man.

You was wrong.

Back on top.

It's not about making progress.

It's about falling down and getting back up again and train your God damn best.

How do I do this like that?

You, Harry, giant gaping.

It's easy, everybody.

It's easy.

Watch.

You just do this thing.

This and then you do a little Whoa!

Why don't you do this, and then you do this and then you do a little whoa.

And then you Oh, okay.

Okay.

Okay.

There's some very bad things gonna happen to people around me soon, Huh?

Get up there.

All right.

And then, uh, and then, uh ah.

What am I doing?

Clearly, I know how to do it.

I've done it many times already.

Do you think my frickin lizard brain could remember no monkey brain too strong?

Give me a banana.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

And then yes.

Okay.

Okay.

You just give me easy ones like this.

I like these.

Oh, fuck.

Okay.

Where am I even going?

Fuckers.

Watch this.

Perfect perfection.

Yes, Yes.

Uh, okay.

Okay.

Yes.

And then yes.

And then yes, and then No.

Yes.

Okay.

Okay.

I hate this.

I wanted to die.

Oh, I want someone to take my lips, shaved them off, put them on a baboon's arse, and have everyone slapped me.

Life is too short for this.

Life is too short to be punishing myself for thing about things that I didn't even do.

Okay, Okay.

Okay.

What?

Fuck you.

You shoot the fucking game.