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  • I'm making this video tape about myself

  • because subscribers have asked me to say well,

  • what challenges do you have in life? You're 78 years old,

  • you're having such a good time, you're making YouTube,

  • you're a positive thinking guy,

  • what's not been easy for you?

  • It's a damn good question and deserves an answer.

  • And the reason I'm answering is, because I hope it helps you.

  • That's the reason I'm doing it.

  • It's not about complaining

  • or describing myself in that way, but it is about

  • can I help other people and the people

  • that are my colleagues on YouTube,

  • my growing community?

  • So, first of all, let me make a statement about life.

  • Life is uncertain.

  • Everything is uncertain.

  • It causes enormous anxiety.

  • You know, the Buddhists say,

  • you should accept uncertainty and live with uncertainty.

  • Let me tell you how they say it

  • that is really hard.

  • What your brain wants is certainty.

  • What you feel comfortable with is knowing

  • when you get up the breakfast is there

  • and the egg is there and the door is there, nothing's changed.

  • But unfortunately, life isn't that way

  • and I've spent my life struggling with accepting

  • uncertainty as an aspect of creativity.

  • Going forward with things

  • without the, anything like certainty that they would work out okay.

  • Yes, it takes courage, but you know what, it's reality.

  • So, more than courage you just have to say that it's real.

  • I got an interesting story about the brain, tells you a lot.

  • So, in the 1950's, they were experimenting with epileptic people

  • and they cut the brain stem right in the middle of these people.

  • So, the brain left and right brain did not connect.

  • And somebody had the idea of a test and the test was

  • they took people from their

  • I guess it's the right brain, so they had the left eye closed

  • and the right brain is the one that has words I think.

  • You'll tell me if I'm wrong, but let's say it is

  • and they sat them down in a room

  • and they put up a sign

  • with people. And the sign said, stand up,

  • go to the sink, get a glass of water, drink the water, and sit down.

  • And every one of them got up seeing with one eye, got the water

  • drink the water and sat down

  • and the psychotherapist said well, why did you do that?

  • Oh, you told me to in the sign, okay.

  • Now they took another group of people and they blocked the

  • left brain, whatever brain that doesn't have words.

  • The one, the part of the, half your brain, I think it's the left side

  • and so, they blocked the eye and they did exactly the same thing.

  • Held up a sign, stand up,

  • get a glass of water, drink the water, sit down.

  • And they did and everybody when asked the question why?

  • Had a reason like, well, I was thirsty,

  • well, because I always drink water at this time.

  • In other words, the brain made up a story

  • because we are more comfortable with certainty.

  • Knowing the answer than anarchy not knowing the answer.

  • The feeling you get when you just,

  • your brain is confused is terrifying, you don't know.

  • So, that told me something about myself

  • that I use every day, which is David

  • just because you say it doesn't mean you think it.

  • To understand what you think you better look at yourself.

  • Do I think and more importantly feel

  • heart intelligence what I'm saying?

  • And a fair number of times in the early days

  • I wasn't saying what I felt.

  • I was just saying to have an answer.

  • Like, I don't need the air conditioning, when I did

  • or I'm done eating, when I'm not.

  • I'm much better at that now.

  • So, that is something I've struggled with

  • and I think I've got pretty much working okay.

  • But I'm going to tell you some areas where I really got problems.

  • One of them is, I am a terrible hypochondriac and always have been.

  • I have doctor phobia.

  • When I see the doctor my blood pressure rises, my lips turn blue.

  • I'm just terrified at their medicine, I'm, I hate being this way.

  • I'd like to just be casual about it, you trust medicine,

  • you trust the doctor, you go there, I can't do any of that.

  • I don't go to doctors if I can possibly help it.

  • I'm one of the last minute guys.

  • Yeah, I take care of myself as you can see, but

  • I'm scared all the time, that's a phobic reaction.

  • My dad had it too, my daughter has it too,

  • one of my sons has it too. I think it's genetic.

  • In any case, to give you an example,

  • my company once was very large. I had 80 people in my film company

  • and on April's fools,

  • I get this call from a nurse who says the allergy shot you just took

  • was the wrong shot

  • please come in immediately we have to give you the antidote.

  • Huh! I'm becoming terrified I barely make it down the stairs.

  • Before I left I said hey, what did you do to me?

  • She said your hair is going to fall out and you're going to lose your erections.

  • Oh, Jesus I'm running down the stairs huh.

  • Take me to the... and I walk out of the door

  • and the whole company is there laughing.

  • So David Hoffman has a phobia,

  • and that phobia doesn't go away and that phobia affects me a lot.

  • Oh, anything that is out of the ordinary in my body makes me go nuts.

  • I don't like it, I can't get rid of it

  • not in this life time it seems.

  • Let me be honest with you, I'm also a travel phobic.

  • I'm afraid of travel,

  • I've always been afraid of travel

  • and I do some things to fix that, and they work pretty well. One,

  • you should see my bag.

  • My bag has in it everything from a miniscule telescope

  • to little scissors to cut things

  • you can't take those on an airplane, you got to have the,

  • some rubber thing in order to work there.

  • All kinds of Band-Aids, different drug things

  • that help me in case of emergencies, stomach stuff, and other stuff,

  • even if I'm going to a western country, my bag

  • is like made for David Hoffman and all his fears.

  • So, I'm very proud of that.

  • Also, I'll tell you what really changed me, the cell phone.

  • Back in the early days, I was filming on a navy ship in the,

  • I think it was in Norway

  • and I was on a boat

  • where there were airplanes landing all night long and I was scared.

  • It was in the middle of nowhere, it was cold, I couldn't sleep.

  • I just, I remember lying all night in the bed

  • frightened unable to sleep with no one to talk to

  • because everybody else was in their own room

  • and the navy guys, I didn't know them.

  • Well, today I have

  • what has really changed my life,

  • the cell phone.

  • I can reach people wherever I am.

  • Some of you fear well, I'm going to nature

  • I'm not going to use my phone and not me.

  • I'm like, that phone is my... if I need it, access to the world.

  • If I see something I don't like, access to news.

  • It's helped me enormously.

  • So, I have less travel phobia because of all the places I've been

  • and overcoming my own phobia in that case, with a bag and a cell phone.

  • And there's a third phobia or a third fear

  • that I felt over my life, but I got over it largely and that is,

  • I didn't understand girls. I was not a ladies man.

  • In my own mind, I didn't... I was shy, I was afraid.

  • I didn't understand the females, they were strange folk to me.

  • So, how do I go out with girls?

  • Well, I usually waited until they asked me out.

  • In fact, my wife asked me to get married.

  • I mean I'm not... When I get to know you I'm not afraid of you,

  • but the girls are an alien thing to me and

  • that's how I felt.

  • Well, how did I get over that?

  • Well, I didn't really get over it, but I did learn

  • that by treating girls and boys the same,

  • not different particularly in the work place, I could do really well.

  • Look at the girls eyes, that's what they taught us at AT&T.

  • Don't look at any other part of her

  • and it worked.

  • Treat women like people, like me

  • and that worked and that allowed me to cross the line

  • and women to see me for who I was, helped me in life.

  • I can't say that I’m completely over it,

  • but I can tell you I live with a beautiful wife and I have many

  • female co-workers and I have many females that I work for.

  • So, I've learned how to be among you guys who want us and do well

  • and of course, I did because of these various phobias

  • and my desire. Intense desire to overcome them,

  • I picked up a camera.

  • With a camera, I could ask questions, I could go places.

  • A camera for me was a kind of security

  • and at now, it's a function of intense curiosity, my curiosity

  • leads me to be able to ask you questions

  • because of that camera that's recording. It's a wonderful thing.

  • I tried to deal with uncertainty

  • and accept uncertainty and I do that by living in the moment.

  • Every time I come upon uncertainty.

  • Now is it uncertain? No, there's no earthquake.

  • You didn't have a heart attack, you're not going anywhere.

  • It's good and that seems to be the case almost all the time, it's good.

  • Even when at that moment there's pain, back hurt,

  • it's still good. Life is really unbelievable in that way.

  • And the other thing that I really hold to

  • and that does that make me feel better about life

  • are my values, my ethics.

  • They drive me in directions and they allow me to make decisions

  • that just seems so hard but theyre not.

  • This is wrong I'm not going to do it, that doesn't fit my ethics.

  • This is right, taking the case of the comments.

  • I do remove or YouTube removes really,

  • the really disgusting comments and sometimes I have to leave them

  • because I don't really think they are disgusting and they may not be mine.

  • They're not how I feel, but I'm not about that. I'm about

  • you guys expressing yourselves

  • hoping you're being real in that and some people are.

  • Try not to be too nasty,

  • but I'm above that and I'm above that freedom

  • and I believe that I'm doing that

  • based on my values and my ethics, which

  • involve free speech and involve individual thought

  • and I really believe that.

  • So, you asked some of David's issues.

  • I got them some that are not my issues for example,

  • I'm not afraid of the creative space

  • and you shouldn't be either.

  • You can be nervous, you can be anxious, but watch this.

  • Anxiety and excitement

  • emotionally feel the same you can misread it.

  • Maybe you're not as anxious as you thought,

  • maybe you're excited

  • and those two things are so similar.

  • They feel similar and they look similar.

  • So, remember that because I

  • find very often this excitement that I feel.

  • That I could identify as anxiety

  • that would pull me down from doing something

  • rather than lead me toward it.

  • I hope this has been helpful to you, I've enjoyed making this video

  • means a lot to me to have a community

  • a growing community

  • of you subscribers and others on YouTube.

  • If it's not enjoyable you won't watch another one.

  • If it is, subscribe and support me on patreon please.

  • Thank you.

I'm making this video tape about myself

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