in America, The Daily Show's Ronny Chieng

has been stuck in Australia.

(ringing)

There he is, Ronny Chieng.

Hey! What's up, Trevor?

Oh, man. So good to see you, dude.

-What's going on? -Uh, I'm-I'm...

(clears throat) I'm okay. Um, I was actually visiting Australia

when all this went down.

Uh, I came here to peck-- pet a koala bear,

and, uh, all this stuff started happening.

So I'm stuck in a hotel room right now,

and I've spent, like, $2,000 on minibar peanuts.

-Damn. -Yeah, yeah.

That's-- You got to be careful down there, man.

There's a lot of corona cases down there.

Uh, yeah, it's increasing, just like everywhere.

But, uh, don't worry. I've-I've been tested.

Wait, are you being-- Like, are you being serious?

-You've been tested tested? -Yeah.

I got tested for the corona. Yeah, yeah.

-Um, I-I just had to... -I can't-- I can't tell

if you're being serious right-- Did you really get tested?

-Yeah, I got tested. Yeah, I got tested. -Oh, okay.

Like, just-just because you--

Like, because, like, you're on TV or just--

they're-they're just testing people?

I-I think they're just-- I matched the symptoms,

because, um, I had a cough and I just came in from America.

-And, uh, they gave-- they gave me everything. -Wow.

They tested me. They gave me a pap smear.

-They gave me a pregnancy test. Um... -(laughs)

I-I had the whole-- Everything.

I did every exam I could in that place.

Wow. Okay.

That sounds unnecessary.

I don't know why you did the pregnancy test.

Oh, but you'll-you'll be glad to know that I'm not pregnant,

by the way.

Well, I mean, that-that's obvious.

-You were never gonna be pregnant. -I'm also not whatever

the pap smear test. I'm not that either.

I-I don't think it's testing for a thing to be.

-I think that... -Yeah, well, look...

A-Anyway, anyway, I'm just--

-I'm just saying... -The point is I'm perfectly healthy.

The point is I'm perfectly healthy.

Yeah. And the point is it seems like it's really easy

to get tested in Australia, much easier than it is in America.

-Yeah, well... -It's like it's impossible to get a test

-out here. -Yeah, I'm hearing stories.

Again, I haven't been in America for, like, four weeks now.

But, uh, if it makes you feel any better,

the corona test doesn't feel great, okay?

They-they stick that swab way up your nose.

It touches the back of your-- back of your nasal passage.

It's-it's like an anal probe on your nose, man. It's not good.

Wait, so they just, like, stick the thing up your nose

-and then-- Yeah. -They stick it up and then they twist it,

like that.

Like they're digging your nose for you.

Yeah, but not-- It feels like, uh...

it feels like someone's trying to scratch your brain.

Damn. Well, that sucks. Well, I'm-I'm sorry, man.

I'm sorry that you had to get the test.

I'm also sorry that now you're stuck

in a hotel social distancing.

-That must, like, be double the pain. -No.

No, no, I'm-I'm fine, man. I love social distancing.

I-I love-- This is my jam. I love this stuff.

I get to watch TV all day and eat whatever I want

and wake up whenever I want.

I didn't have to wear pants.

I'm not wearing pants right now. It's-it's the best.

Yeah, but what about all the people who love you?

-You don't get to see them. -Tho-Those people are the worst,

by the way. People who love you are the worst.

They-- Hugging and kissing and rubbing is--

Ev-Every form of-of af-affection is like a corona bomb.

No, thanks.

Wow. Okay.

So, if it was up to you, you'd just be interacting over,

like, video calls and stuff. That-that would be your life.

Absolutely. In fact, when this thing is over,

I hope this is the only way we interact.

I mean, I don't have to smell your breath.

You know, I-I don't have to-- I don't have to, like, uh,

be in contact with your bodily fluids.

And if I get bored, I can just pretend I'm having problems

-with the Wi-Fi. -Wow.

Okay, I mean, that's one way to look at it.

But then, like, what about, like, work

and hanging out with your friends?

You-you always said you loved hanging-- having lunch with me

-every day, so, I mean, that's-that's... -Sorry.

Trevor, I'm sorry, the Wi-Fi in Australia

is actually really, really bad, so, uh,

I-I can't hear you anymore.

I'll-I'll just talk to you later, man.

-See you later. -Oh, okay. Bye.

(beep)