Ohh, a valentine from my granddaughter.

Could I have the envelope?

"To Moe, from your secret admirer."

Yoo-hoo!

Oh, God, no.

And this is for my Huggy Bug, in honor of this special day.

Special day? Oh, what have I forgotten now? Now, don't panic.

Is it bacon day? No. That's crazy talk. She's getting impatient.

Take a stab at it.

Happy Valentine's Day.

Oh, thank you, dear.

Whoo-hoo!

I'll bet you have a lot of things planned, eh, Dad?

Uh, kind of.

Nobody makes a big deal out of Valentine's Day.

If you think I'm cuddly, and you want my company, come on, wifey, let me know...

Hey, Dad, why don't you give Mom her present?

What a nice idea, son. It's, uh, upstairs, on the second floor of our home.

I'll just go get it.

Apu, you gotta help me. I need a Valentine's gift for my wife.

Perhaps this might be appropriate?

Yes! You saved my life. How much?

One hundred dollars.

What? That's highway robbery. I won't pay it.

Oh, I think you will.

All right! But I'll never shop here again.

If he discovers the discount supermarket next door, all is lost.

Nickel off on expired baby food.

Sold!

Miss Hoover, can we exchange our valentines?

Not just yet, Janey.

First we're going to construct paper mailboxes to store the valentines.

Isn't that just pointless busywork?

Get cracking.

Yes, Ralph? My parents won't let me use scissors.

The children are right to laugh at you, Ralph. These things couldn't cut butter.

Now, take out your red crayons. Miss Hoover?

Yes, Ralph? I don't have a red crayon.

Why not?

I ate it

All right, children. You may now exchange valentines.

Miss Hoover? I glued my head to my shoulder.

Poor Ralph.

Here you go, Ralph.

You choo-choo-choose me?

Happy Valentine's.