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  • hi guys today.

  • I want to talk through some things that I've just been having a little bit of self reflection on.

  • I am sitting here today in my kitchen, writing down some notes on what I would tell my 20 year old self.

  • I want to invite you guys to this conversation as well.

  • So if you could leave in the comments things that you would tell your 20 year old self, it's totally cool if you're not yet 20 or you are 20 right now, the first thing that I would say to do is to use sunscreen girl.

  • When I was 20 years old, I was not opposed to laying out on our black roof like climbing through the window and laying there in the scorching sun for a couple hours very uncomfortably just to get a little bit of a tan.

  • And I don't tan easily.

  • So it took forever, not with great results.

  • And now I look at my skin and I'm like, I wonder if I would have just tried a little harder, warn some SPF that I would have had better skin longer.

  • Next is to get to know personalities, because when I was 20.

  • I was a little bit more easily offended by things by not understanding why.

  • Maybe someone wasn't a morning person or just naturally, wasn't like mere wasn't structure like me because we all have different viewpoints.

  • And it's so interesting to get to know those people and understand their viewpoint so that naturally, when they make a choice or they react in some way that you're like, Oh, that's because they generally have that viewpoint and it's just so enlightening.

  • So I consume any sort of personality tests.

  • I've especially loved this for getting to know Zach, just family members and just people that are really in my close circle or people that I meet off the bat.

  • If we're kind of talking through personality types, as one does, then I am able to know them better and really get an idea of their own personality type.

  • I could really go on about this.

  • I'm gonna leave it there.

  • But if you guys want me to do any sort of Siri's or topics regarding personality types, any a gram, let me know in the comments bullet.

  • Okay, next have patients.

  • It's something that's not built overnight, though, and I find that the older I get, I get a little bit more patient, even though I have less time to work with, which is so interesting.

  • But I really think that having patients means to not put so much pressure on yourself at the age of 20.

  • I think that it's a beautiful age where you don't have to have everything figured out.

  • I remember so many people in college were gripped by this idea of having that know your major and all this stuff.

  • And while that's important, sometimes it's okay if you don't have everything figured out just yet.

  • And that brings me to my next point, which is to stay in the driver's seat of your own life.

  • And what that means is, at 20 you know, you might find that your circle, whether that's guidance counselors, parents, friends, family, anything like that, they're still in the mode of telling you what to think and what to do.

  • And at that point you might need to start trusting your instincts to see if you are actually on the correct path.

  • Now that I look back, I look at what I did with my college and everything I am thankful for all of those classes and the experience, but I think for me personally, I'd and need to finish four years of my degree.

  • I think that when it's something like design, where you don't necessarily need certification as much as you need a portfolio, I could have done that more with street smarts than with book smarts.

  • And I think that with design, there's still many resource is out there today.

  • But honestly, I didn't have back then, so that's a factor, but no those things for yourself At the same time.

  • College can be absolutely amazing for some people in some degrees, and even for people who aren't sure yet what to do next.

  • I know that for Zach, he went into college thinking I'm going to be an accountant.

  • So he took one accounting semester and he was like, Nope, this is absolutely wrong.

  • He said that if he wasn't in the college environment, he wouldn't have found design as an option.

  • There are benefits there, too.

  • I know that sometimes at that age you just need to flirt with different styles of career paths, and that's okay, too.

  • But I think the key there is at 20 years old, it's time to get in the driver's seat of your own life and make those tough decisions for yourself, even if it's not what everyone in your life is telling you to dio on that note, it's important to pick your battles.

  • So when I was 20 and I see this in other people who are around that age, too, is that I never picked my battles.

  • I still find this really hard to do because I just care deeply about everything and I find it very difficult to not have opinions about it.

  • And I love to dialogue with people about things.

  • That's probably why I like to have a YouTube channel is I like communication.

  • I like to think deeply on certain topics.

  • Sometimes that hasn't always benefited my relationship with one or two people, like personally in my inner circle.

  • I think if I was to really zone in on making a relationship work with another person, whether that's you know, marriage or friendship or anything, you don't want to pick every single fight right.

  • Then there are times when it's okay to lean back and be like, I think that's worth coming back to you later.

  • I'll have to think on that, like these Airways to create some space and revisit and later when it's more appropriate.

  • Things can be talked about later.

  • Always.

  • But there's times when you want Thio Onley highlight the really critical things that need to be solved so that those times people listen to you.

  • If you're always on fire, about absolutely everything, people will say, Oh, that's Bethany.

  • She's always worried.

  • She's always mad.

  • I'm like I'm never mad.

  • I just find this to be something I'm passionate about.

  • And so that has been more difficult to explain if just everything is on fire.

  • So in a nutshell, I like to pick my battles, to think through things and have really patients with people as we sort through life's issues together.

  • It takes time, and it needs to be more centered around the relationship.

  • And finally, before the sun sets, I don't know how bright it looks on screen, but the sun is literally setting is to focus on the good and the bad doesn't get as much limelight.

  • The bad will fade, so there's ways that I do.

  • This one way is when talking about someone else if they're not around, it's incredibly important to talk about the positive things about that person.

  • They're not there to defend themselves.

  • And by talking about the better things about someone, then the bad doesn't get as much limelight.

  • It fades in the background, and I think that's also important just in general with my thought process, the more that I set my mind on things, I'm thankful for being that we're almost at Thanksgiving.

  • Then I'm able to really zone in on making my life more enjoyable and less about things that are so critical.

  • Like I talked about previously.

  • Focusing on the good and the bad fades also is really important to me.

  • Whatever I want to work on in my life, I'm working toward positive things, and that sets me up to head toward those goals rather than the things that could really set me behind and in initial.

  • Those are my tips on what I would tell my younger self as sort of an older sister figure.

  • But honestly, I think that's really important at 20.

  • To enjoy this moment.

  • Enjoy the ride.

  • I would say, travel as much as you can But I know even at 20 it's not always feasible.

  • But if you can travel at all, if you can try new experiences, it might be easier now in your twenties to do that and flirt with new career ideas.

  • Then if you're more settled, so as always, thank you so much for watching.

  • And don't forget to like and subscribe you guys next time.

  • 20 something about everything.

hi guys today.

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