Cracking. Cheers, everybody. Cheers, everyone. Happy Christmas!

Merry Christmas! Happy Christmas. Let's make it a good one!

Hey, it shows you how long it is since we've drove down here, hey?

I mean, it's the first time we haven't had to pay the toll to cross the bridge!

I sort of missed it, really,

cos I used to like throwing the coins in the basket.

You know, it's a little bit like a sumo wrestler with sand.

I tell you what, it's a cracking motorway, the M4.

Yeah, you're right there, Bryn.

I tell you, the services, you're spoilt for choice.

Oh, phenomenal. Oh, not Heston, mind...

No, no, not Heston, obviously. Of course.

Only a fool would stop at Heston. Chieveley, you like. Sensational.

I'm a Leigh Delamere man. First class. Second to none.

Er, what was that name of that services that we was on the M6,

near, what was it, near Stoke, when we went to Richard's 60th?

Oh, I can't remember the name, but I remember the sandwich.

Egg and cress, Ness.

Fresh as the day it was born.

I can still taste it now.

Knutsford! That was it. Knutsford. Knutsford.

Well, I like Membury... That is good. Yeah. I LOVE Membury.

BOTH: Insane in the Membury.

..and I'll tell you for why.

I arranged to meet my friend Paul there, you know Paul,

we became friends on Instagram, and we said we'd meet at 12.

Well, I arrive, no sign of Paul.

He's had trouble with his car,

and he feels so terrible about it,

that he sends his sister, Jenny, to keep me company in his place.

Well, Pam, you would've loved Jenny,

oh, she was fantastic.

Anyway, that day, she's lost her wallet,

and on top of that, she's dropped her phone.

Needs a new case.

Well, that's the beauty of Membury,

they've got a phone shop right there on the concourse.

So, I bought her a case, got her some lunch,

we were there six hours, all told.

I had a lovely time.

They're dead now, Paul and Jenny.

Very sad,

and I would've gone to the funeral, if they'd had one,

but their religion forbids it.

They just wanted donations,

to a charity set up in Paul's name,

which I still donate to,

£10 every month, Mick.

Who's for another drink? Yeah, I'll get these. Shall we get a round before it gets busy? Yeah.

Just a water for me, Gav, I've hardly touched this. Shut up, Bryn, you melt, it's Christmas Eve!

Yeah, and you'll have an Archers and lemonade, whether you like it or not.