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  • >> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY, WELCOME BACK.

  • IN HONORING OF CONTINUING THE SHOW, I THOUGHT MAYBE JUST A

  • LITTLE MORE FLESH, HUH?

  • YOU LIKE?

  • NOW, I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU, BUT EVEN WHEN I'M STUCK AT HOME, I

  • CAN'T HELP BUT FEEL I WANT TO BE DOING MORE TO HELP.

  • THEN I REALIZE THERE IS SOMETHING I CAN DO AND THAT'S

  • BECAUSE OF SOMETHING YOU OUT THERE ALREADY DID.

  • A FEW YEARS AGO WE ATE "THE LATE SHOW" PUBLISHED A BOOK "WHOSE

  • BOAT IS THIS BOAT" MADE ENTIRELY OF QUOTES MADE IN HURRICANE

  • FLORENCE THE PROCEEDS GOING TO THOSE IN DISASTERS.

  • WE RAISED MILLIONS OF DOLLARS.

  • IT WORKED.

  • HURRICANE FLORENCE NEVER CAME BACK.

  • WELL, I'VE ALWAYS SAID VIRUSES ARE THE NEW HURRICANES, AND I'M

  • PROUD TO SAY THAT FINALLY MAKES SENSE.

  • TONIGHT I'M ANNOUNCING WE'LL BE GIVING $150,000 FROM THE MOST

  • RECENT SALES OF THIS BOOK TO HELP VICTIMS OF THE PANDEMIC.

  • THE MONEY WILL BE SPLIT BETWEEN WORLD CENTRAL KITCHEN WHERE OUR

  • OLD FRIEND JOSEÉ ANDREÉS IS HELPING PUT FOOD ON THE TABLE

  • FOR HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF FAMILIES WHO ARE OUT OF WORK AND

  • GIVE DIRECTLY WHERE IT DISTRIBUTES CASH WHERE IT CAN DO

  • THE MOST GOOD, OUR NATION'S POOREST HOUSEHOLDS.

  • YOU ALL MADE THIS POSSIBLE WITH YOUR GENEROSITY AND, NOW, WE'RE

  • ALL DOING THE RIGHT THING BY SELF-ISOLATING AT HOME,

  • PROTECTING YOUR FRIENDS AND NEIGHBORS, AND IT'S WORKING.

  • THE CURVE IS BEGINNING TO FLATTEN.

  • SO I WANTED TO CELEBRATE HOW AMERICANS ARE ALL COMING

  • TOGETHER BY STAYING APART WITH THESE UNITED WE STAND DIVIDED

  • T-SHIRTS.

  • WE'RE SELLING THEM NOW AT COLBERTLATESHOW.COM, AND 100% OF

  • THE PROCEEDS WILL ALSO BE SPLIT BETWEEN THESE TWO CHARITIES.

  • THIS STYLISH AND CHARITABLE SHIRT IS PERFECT FOR EVERY DAY

  • IN YOUR LIVING ROOM OR MAYBE A FANCY NIGHT OUT STANDING IN YOUR

  • HALLWAY.

  • BE SURE TO GET ONE IN YOUR CURRENT SIZE, AND ONE IN THE

  • SIZE YOU WILL BE AFTER ALL OF YOUR STRESS-EATING.

  • JUST HEAD TO COLBERTLATESHOW.COM TO ORDER YOURS TODAY.

  • SOON, YOU'LL BE SAYING HELLO TO YOUR VERY OWN SHIRT.

  • REMEMBER, YOU CAN'T SPELL "ISOLATION" WITHOUT

  • "OLA, T!" AND TO EVERYBODY OUT THERE,

  • THANKS FOR ALL THAT YOU'VE ALREADY DONE, THANKS FOR ALL

  • THAT YOU WILL DO, AND THANKS TO ALL THAT YOU DO DO.

  • AND YES, I JUST SAID "DO DO."

  • OH, SORRY-- IT LOOKS LIKE I'M GETTING A ZOOM REQUEST.

  • THIS IS A LITTLE AWKWARD BECAUSE I'M TRYING TO DO A SHOW, BUT IT

  • MUST BE IMPORTANT.

  • GRAMMY/OSCAR WINNING SINGER/ACTOR, AND PERSON I KNOW

  • SO WELL I CALL HER STEFANI, LADY GAGA!

  • >> HI, STEPHEN, HOW ARE YOU?

  • >> Stephen: I'M DOING GREAT!

  • OUR ZOOM BOOK CLUB PARTY DOESN'T START TILL 8:00.

  • I DON'T EVEN HAVE THE CHARDONNAY CHILLED YET.

  • WHAT'S GOING ON?

  • >> THAT'S OKAY.

  • I'M ALREADY WASTED.

  • IT'S FINE.

  • >> Stephen: GOOD, GOOD.

  • STAY LOOSE.

  • STAY LOOSE.

  • WHAT'S GOING ON?

  • HOW ARE YOU?

  • >> I'M DOING GREAT.

  • EVERYBODY'S SAFE AND SOUND.

  • WE FEEL VERY BLESSED ALL HERE TOGETHER.

  • HOW ARE YOU DOING?

  • >> Stephen: SAME THING.

  • SAME THING.

  • WE'RE ALL TOGETHER.

  • MY KIDS ARE MY CREW RIGHT NOW, MY DAUGHTER IS DOING MY MAKEUP,

  • I'M SURROUND BID LOVED ONES AND, YOU KNOW, MY FAMILY IS HEALTHY

  • RIGHT NOW AND, FOR THAT, I FEEL BLESSED.

  • >> THAT'S WONDERFUL.

  • >> Stephen: SO WHAT'S GOING ON?

  • I UNDERSTAND THAT YOU AND I ARE GOING TO BE DOING SOMETHING

  • TOGETHER PRETTY SOON.

  • >> WELL, SO I AM CREATING A SPECIAL FOR THE WORLD HEALTH

  • ASSOCIATION AND GLOBAL CITIZEN AND IT'S CALLED ONE HEALTH

  • TOGETHER AT HOME.

  • IT TURNS OUT -- DO YOU KNOW A HOST OF THE SHOW?

  • >> Stephen: WHO'S HOSTING IT?

  • SOMETHING THAT BIG, YOU'VE GOT TO HAVE A BIG HOST.

  • >> YOU, MAN.

  • >> Stephen: WHAT?!

  • THAT'S WHAT IT SAYS ON THE BLUE CARD RIGHT HERE.

  • JIMMY KIMMEL AND JIMMY FALON?

  • >> THAT'S RIGHT.

  • >> Stephen: I KNOW THOSE GUYS.

  • I WROTE IT DOWN ON A POST-IT.

  • >> Stephen: I GOT IT HERE, I GOT IT THERE.

  • >> FALON, KIMMEL AND COLBERT, NOT IN ANY PARTICULAR ORDER.

  • AND ABC AGREED TO LET ME HAVE ALL THREE OF YOU.

  • I FEEL SO LUCKY.

  • >> Stephen: AND WE ARE HONORED TO BE UP THERE WITH YOU.

  • JUST LIKE BRADLEY COOPER IN "A STAR IS BORN" WE'LL BE STANDING

  • THERE PEAKING OUR PANTS STANDING BESIDE YOU.

  • >> NO, YOU CAN'T DO THAT.

  • THIS SHOW IS NOT GOING TO BE A FUNDRAISER.

  • WE HAVE RAISED THE MONEY AHEAD OF TIME.

  • WE'RE GOING TO CONTINUE FUNDRAISING BEFORE THE SHOW.

  • SO WHEN YOU INTRODUCE THE WHOLE SPECIAL.

  • YOU CAN TELL EVERYONE PUT YOUR WALLETS AWAY AND YOUR MONEY AWAY

  • BECAUSE WE DON'T NEED IT BECAUSE WE RAISED THE MONEY ALREADY AND

  • WE'RE VERY EXCITED FOR THEM TO JUST WATCH AND ENJOY THE SHOW.

  • >> Stephen: THE PROGRAM, APRIL 1 OTHER MUSICIANS WILL BE JOINED

  • FROM THEIR OWN HOMES.

  • CHRIS MARTIN, ELTON JOHN, LIZZO, PAUL McCARTNEY.

  • TUNE IN TO FIGURE OUT WHICH FORGETS TO UNMUTE THEIR ZOOM.

  • IT'S GOING TO BE EXCITING.

  • >> WAS I UNMUTED THIS WHOLE TIME?

  • >> Stephen: NO, WE WOULDN'T DARE.

  • IT'S BASICALLY ON EVERY CHANNEL, INCLUDING THIS ONE.

  • SO EVERYBODY OUT THERE HAS TO DO IS JUST NOT TURN OFF THEIR TV

  • FOR THE NEXT 12 DAYS AND THEY'RE READY TO GO.

  • >> JUST LEAVE YOUR TV ON, STEPHEN WILL BE THERE OR ONE OF

  • THE JIMMIES WILL BE THERE.

  • YOU KNOW WHO ELSE WE'LL HAVE?

  • OUR FRIENDS FROM "SESAME STREET."

  • >> Stephen: THAT'S FANTASTIC.

  • A MUPPET CAN BE USED AS A FACE MASK IN AN EMERGENCY.

  • >> YOU KNOW, I'VE ASKED ABOUT ALL SORTS OF THINGS THAT COULD

  • BE USED IN CASE OF AN EMERGENCY IN FRONT OF YOUR FACE.

  • IT'S A VERY COMPLICATED TOPIC.

  • >> Stephen: WE'LL GET INTO IT APRIL 18th.

  • >> EXACTLY.

  • >> Stephen: THANK YOU SO MUCH.

  • THANK YOU.

  • >> Stephen: NO, THANK YOU.

  • I REALLY WANT TO THANK YOU FOR ALL THAT YOU DO, GOING AND

  • BEING WITH PEOPLE IN THEIR HOMES EVERY NIGHT, I KNOW IT'S

  • SOMETHING THAT'S VERY HEART WARMING TO AMERICAS AND THANK

  • YOU SO MUCH FOR BEING A PART OF THIS SPECIAL BECAUSE REALLY AND

  • TRULY, THE FACT THAT THE THREE OF YOU ARE COMING TOGETHER TO DO

  • THE SHOW, THE TYPE OF DO YOU KNOWTY AND THE SOLIDARITY WE ALL

  • NEED RIGHT NOW AND THE START OFO GENUINE, SINCERE KINDNESS.

  • SO THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

  • AND ALSO THANK YOU TO VERIZON FOR THEIR DONATION TO THE

  • SOLIDARITY FUND.

  • >> Stephen: ABSOLUTELY.

  • MY PHONE IS ON ME, SO IF ANYONE WANTS TO CALL IN AND

  • DONATE NOW, THAT'S PART OF OUR CORPORATE OR PHILANTHROPIC

  • KINDNESS COALITION.

  • I WOULD LOVE TO HEAR FROM YOU.

  • UNTIL THEN, I'LL SEE YOU SOON, STEPHEN, BECAUSE WE HAVE A LOT

  • OF WORK TO DO.

  • >> Stephen: I KNOW.

  • AND YOU'RE MAKE THIS ANNOUNCEMENT ON THE OTHER GUYS'

  • SHOWS TONIGHT, TOO, RIGHT?

  • >> YEAH.

  • >> Stephen: SAY HI TO THEM FOR ME.

  • >> I THINK I'M SWEATING.

  • ( LAUGHTER ) > I LOVE YOU.

  • STAY SAFE, GOD BLESS AMERICA AND THE WORLD.

  • >> Stephen: AMEN.

  • LADY GAGA, EVERYBODY.

  • WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK!

  • ♪ ♪

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