Placeholder Image

Subtitles section Play video

  • [ Indistinct whispering ]

  • -Remember the Lego thing? -Yeah.

  • -I made it right now and it was the first one.

  • [ Whispering indistinctly ]

  • -Oh, you did? -Yeah.

  • -That's so cool. Alright, good. I'll be right out.

  • ♪♪

  • Hello, everybody, and welcome to another edition of

  • "The Tonight Sbow" starring Jimmy Fallon, at-home edition.

  • Thank you very much for tuning in.

  • This is week four, everybody, and it feels like week four.

  • But this is it, guys.

  • This is -- We're at the top.

  • We're at the top of the hill.

  • We're almost at the top, so we've got to keep going,

  • keep pushing each other, keep supporting each other.

  • We got this. We got this, alright?

  • Let's get through this week.

  • Monday's basically already done.

  • So now we got Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday.

  • Four more days. We're already in. We're in.

  • So we're going to have a big show, a fun show tonight.

  • The one and only Lady Gaga

  • will be our guest on the show tonight.

  • And she is spearheading the WHO Global Citizen's special

  • "One World Together at Home."

  • This is her website here.

  • Global citizens.

  • Globalcitizen.org /togetherathome.

  • She's going to talk about that giant event, April 18th.

  • I am co-hosting it with Jimmy Kimmel and Stephen Colbert.

  • I'm very excited about it. A lot of big names.

  • And then she has a little surprise coming up

  • later in the show that should be very fun.

  • Also my other guest is Andy Cohen, who we love,

  • from "Watch What Happens Live."

  • He's doing it from home as well.

  • And he's recovering at home.

  • He got coronavirus probably three weeks ago.

  • And he's going to tell us about what he went through

  • and how he's feeling.

  • And his charity is bethennyscause.org.

  • Bethenny Frankel's charity,

  • which is doing amazing stuff for disaster relief.

  • She is doing some cool, some cool, cool stuff.

  • And then we're going to finish the show

  • with Billie Joe Armstrong from Green Day

  • doing a cover of Tommy James and the Shondells'

  • "I Think We're Alone Now."

  • It's going to be a great show.

  • But first here's the monologue.

  • ♪♪

  • Become to "Tonight Show At-Home Edition."

  • Guys, it is now week four of being in quarantine.

  • That's right. I've spent four weeks building stuff,

  • doing chores, and teaching my own kids.

  • I feel like I'm one solid beard away from being Amish.

  • Well, earlier tonight ABC aired two hours of "Family Feud."

  • I got to be honest. After four weeks in quarantine,

  • I think we're all set on family feuds.

  • Some business news -- Ben & Jerry's has introduced

  • a new flavor called Chip Happens.

  • Although I think right now a more helpful flavor

  • would have been Stay the Fudge Home!

  • I betcha Jerry's laughing.

  • I don't know about Ben. He's a harder nut to crack.

  • The White House is warning Americans to avoid

  • the grocery store or pharmacy over the next two weeks.

  • Right now my idea to keep two weeks of Xanax smoothies

  • in the freezer is looking pretty good.

  • There are still over a dozen cruise ships circling

  • around the sea because they have no place to dock.

  • I feel bad for everyone, but mostly the cruise ship comic

  • who's on day 20 of "So anyone else from out of town?

  • Not you again, Darrell. We already talked."

  • Michael Jackson's famous white glove

  • was auctioned off for $100,000.

  • The buyer was like, "Great, I just need one more

  • and I can go to the grocery store."

  • A new trend during the pandemic is a lot of people

  • are now having their wedding ceremonies over Zoom.

  • New couples say they'll never forget the moment

  • when the priest said, "You may now...the bride."

  • Meanwhile, a couple in Michigan got married,

  • and they filled the church pews

  • with cardboard cutouts of people.

  • It was all fun until the priest asked

  • if there were any objections

  • and one of the cutouts raised its hand.

  • A county in Florida is reminding residents to remain --

  • to maintain a distance of at least one large alligator

  • between each other.

  • That's right. A county in Florida is reminding residents

  • to maintain a distance of at least one large alligator

  • between each other.

  • While in L.A., they're asking people to keep a distance of

  • at least three Kevin Harts.

  • And finally, today New York City closed all its dog parks,

  • which should explain why your neighbor

  • is now holding his dog's butt out the window.

  • There you go, everybody. That is my monologue.

[ Indistinct whispering ]

Subtitles and vocabulary

Click the word to look it up Click the word to find further inforamtion about it