(jazzy electronic music)

Although Spain and Italy are still reporting

more than 10,000 new infections each day,

their corona numbers are finally slowing down

which could be a sign that the worst has passed.

And South Korea, they're superstars.

They've reported only 47 new cases yesterday.

And with fewer than 200 deaths

out of a population of 51 million people,

South Korea has basically emerged as maybe the only nation

to have handled the pandemic with near complete success.

And I mean let's be honest,

South Korea was always gonna beat corona

because from what I can tell, everyone in that country

has a basement inside their basement.

So I mean, if you're the virus,

good luck finding a South Korean person.

But maybe the best news of all

is that there are rumors that Netflix

might be dropping a new episode of "Tiger King," people.

That's right.

Jeff Lowe told a fan online that he had been filmed

for a new episode scheduled to drop this week!

Yeah.

And when has Jeff Lowe ever lied?

I mean, if you can't trust a 65 year old man

who dresses like a rebellious teenager,

who can you trust?

And I guess this is how low the bar has gotten

for what counts as good news right now.

We find out there's more episodes about deranged murderers

and people being cruel to animals and we're like, "Yes!

"Oh, some good news.

"Thank you, Lord."

And I'm gonna be honest, guys.

I am terrified of this news.

Because every episode of "Tiger King"

has been crazier than the previous episode,

so what's gonna happen in this new episode?

Are we gonna find out Carole Baskin and her husband

faked his death to get the insurance money

and he's been secretly living inside

one of those tigers all along?

Ah!

So many people in India are quarantined in their homes

that for the first time in a long time

you can actually see the real color of the sky.

And this has happened

in some of the most heavily polluted areas of New Delhi,

where there was just smog every single day.

And one of the images that's been going viral is this one

that came out of New Delhi which shows the before and after

of 1.3 billion people staying at home.

And that's amazing, right?

Just look at how beautiful

New Delhi is without any pollution.

It looks like the entire city went on "Queer Eye."

"You're been hiding yourself under so many layers of smog.

"You've gotta let yourself shine, girl."

I mean, god damn, those are some blue skies.

I bet India probably even forgot

there was a time where skies weren't gray.

It's the same way America forgot there was a time

when presidents weren't orange.

Yeah, they used to be brown.

And it's not just the environment.

With humans locked away,

animals are also starting to flourish.

Here's some good news coming out of Hong Kong.

A zoo, which has been trying unsuccessfully

to get its pandas to mate for 10 years

reported that finally yesterday

the pandas spontaneously started having sex.

And the researchers say they think

it's because nobody is at the zoo.

And I'm like, yeah, I don't need to be a researcher

to know that's what's happening.

Of course the pandas are having sex now that nobody's there.

How do you think you would react if every day

hundreds of people came to your bedroom window

like, "Come on!

"Have sex!

"Do it!

"Come on, have sex!

"Do it, do, put it in!"

So I don't blame the pandas.

I mean, like, even when I have one person

watching me during sex, I'm like,

"Hey, can you look the other way?

"I'm just getting, yeah, I'm just real self-conscious.

"Would you mind looking, look the other way.

"It's a lot of pressure."

This just makes you realize

that when we're telling our grandkids

about coronavirus years from now,

the animals are gonna be telling

a completely different story.

"Grandma, tell us about the coronavirus."

"Oh, little ones, it was a wonderful time.

"There were no humans and your grandpa was smashing me

"like there was no tomorrow."

So good news for those pandas.

Although the bad news is now that nobody's watching,

the monkeys have all stopped having sex.

Now those guys are freaky.

Now, please don't get me wrong,

corona's also bringing out some of the best in humanity.

- Lifting spirits during this tough time

is a real superhero.

Batman is hitting the streets of San Diego.

- [Reporter] By day, Chris Banner runs a lawn service,

helping cut weeds and fire lines on people's property.

But when duty calls,

(Batsignal hails)

he suits up.

He's go the Batsuit and he's got the wheels,

a replica 1989 Batmobile that he and a friend built.

Normally, Chris gets paid to make appearances

at birthday parties and other special occasions.

But while the pandemic goes on,

he decided to just hit the road and make people smile.

- Aw.

That is such a sweet idea, man.

That guy's a hero.

I just hope he never started talking like Batman,

'cause would've freaked people out.

"Yay, it's Batman!"

"That's right, kids, it's me."

"Whoa, is that coronavirus?

"Get away, dude, get away!"

"No, this is just how I."

"Well, this is not the time.

"Just use your normal voice, man.

"What's wrong with you?"

"Yeah, you're right, I should."

"Okay, go back to the other voice.

"That one is not cool."

Jack Dorsey, the founder of Twitter

and world's richest barista,

has announced that he will be donating $1 billion

to help fight the coronavirus.

That's 28% of his wealth.

Yeah.

And that's amazing.

Using your money to fight coronavirus.

And what better person to fight a thing

that's poisoning society

than the inventor of a thing that's poisoning society.

No, I'm just being a hater, man.

This is incredible.

Like, for real.

It's incredible because it's generous,

it's a powerful gesture at a moment like this,

and it's also throwing shade,

so much shade at Mark Zuckerberg and Jeff Bezos.

Because they also donated money,

but they donated way, way less than Dorsey

and they've got way, way more money than Dorsey.

He donated, like, 30% of his net worth

and they donated less than 1/2 a percent of their net worth.

It's like if the check at a restaurant came

and everyone else tips five bucks

and then you buy the waiter a Lamborghini.

That's basically what Dorsey did right here.

"Yeah, yeah, thanks, the service was great.

"Oh, my friends?

"Yeah, they're just cheap bitches.

"You know how it is."

Now look, not everyone has a billion dollars

which is why people around the world have found

all sorts of ways to try

and stop the spread of this disease.

For instance, you know how we're all stressed

about making sure that we keep six feet

between ourselves and other people when we're out in public?

Well, some amateur inventors

have come up with their own novel solutions.

- [Reporter] This man's wacky social distancing device

is going viral.

He designed his contraption out of tent poles and duct tape

in order to know exactly how far away six feet is.

- Okay, that is a super smart idea.

But I will say it could've been a lot easier.

I mean, it's cool to have the disc and everything,

but all you have to do to keep people from coming near you

is just carry a clipboard.

Yeah, and then you just ask people

if they have a few minutes to save the environment

and everyone will stay at least six feet away.

And keeping people six feet away from you is a great idea

until you need to get close to some people

because they're delivering your food.

So how do you solve that problem?

Well, two heroes in Missouri, they totally figured it out.

- [Reporter] A woman in Missouri

is taking no-contact delivery to the next level.

This is video from TikTok user Tracey.

She and her roommate set up a pulley system

to get their pizza without ever having to open their door.

They did it all using a box and some heavy duty yarn.

They just put the cash in the box and they lowered it.

- Tell me that is not genius.

Like, what else were they gonna do?

The only other solution would've been

to just have the delivery person leave the food at the door

and then wait 15 seconds for them to leave,

but there's no fun in that.

And what an emotional rollercoaster

this must've been for that pizza, hmm?

You don't think about that.

One minute the pizza was in there all happy like,

"It's happening!

"I'm going to Heaven, I can feel it.

"I'm floating.

"I'm, no!

"Why is she eating me?

"Ah!

"This is the bad place!"

Now I know what you're thinking,

"Trevor, how am I gonna work off all of this pizza

"that I keep ordering at home if I can't get to the gym?"

Well, here's a question.

Why make it to the gym

when you can have the gym make it to you?

- One man not letting his gym closing down

keep him from getting in a good workout.

So he turned to nature.

- [Woman] Yeah, Zachary Skidmore got a chainsaw out

and went to work.

Built himself what he's calling the Lumberjack Gym

out of logs from his farm.

The lumberjacked gym includes a bench press, squat rack,

leg press, dumb bells, yes, even a treadmill,

and it's all made out of wood.

(hands clapping slowly)

- That is impressive.

Because if I built a gym out of a forest,

I wouldn't have energy to work out

because I just built a gym out of a forest.

And this guy's attention to detail is truly impressive.

Did you see all the pieces?

He's got the bench, he's got the leg press,

he's go the squat machine,

he's got everything you would find in the gym.

Yeah, he even made the old man in the locker room

who refuses to cover up his balls.

Yeah, that was really intricate.

Like, the detail around the testicles.

That's a lot of wood chipping right there, my friends.

Also, this is a great idea

until the animals discover this forest gym

because our one saving grace as humans

is that animals don't really work out.

Can you imagine when the bears discover this and get jacked?