I didn't have any question about it.

The doctors didn't have to tell me that.

Um, my uncle, who is a respected cancer researcher, told me that I might just as well enjoy my last few days, less days on earth.

Uh, but I wasn't able to just follow along with that.

I was extremely terrified.

It was not in the least bit classy.

Um, I just didn't have any social grace about me in the least.

I knew from what I'd learnt before and from what people around me were saying that I needed to have a good attitude.

And that was even more terrifying because I didn't have the slightest clue how to get a good attitude.

Um, and I also knew you had to have a lot of it, so it just felt extremely hopeless to me that I would be ableto even lived through the terror.

The terror was worth something in the cancer.

Uh, I have come to see since then that one of the neat things I did was allow myself to be such a mess.

I didn't put on a good act.

I didn't have a stiff upper lip.

I didn't do anything other than just to be how I waas.

I recommend that very highly to just let yourself be how you are very hard to Dio because we constantly feel that we have toe be looking good.

I feel looking good is one of the worst things that can happen to somebody with cancer.

Having a good attitude is something that worries me the most with my clients.

If they just come marching in and just had major surgery and they so everything's just great.

Uh, that's when I really worry about them.

When something terrible goes on like this, it's very appropriate to have some pretty heavy duty emotions around it.

I never, ever thought I had what it took to get over cancer, and after I got over it physically, I looked back and I said, I just don't have what it takes.

I was still stuck back in the past belief, which shows how you don't really need to believe everything your mouth says.

Um, I I just I'm amazed at what I've done.

I have clients come to me all the time and say I just don't have what it takes to get over it.

And I always let them know Neither did I and neither do I.

But somehow there's always what you need available.

I don't feel were ever given anything that we can't handle.

And there've been many, many, many times when I've just known it was just too overwhelming.

I knew I couldn't do it anymore, and I've just gone ahead and done it anyway.

You know, I bitch and moan all the way to doing what I D'oh.

Uh, I was broke.

I had no money, my cancer vitamins that I decided to take cost more than my husband was earning a week.

Um, way just were destitute.

And so that was another reason I thought I would die.

I found that everything appears.

It's very flaky sounding, but in fact it's true, and I've run my life that way for seven years.

Everything I need is always available for me, including guts and courage, money, love.

The thing I had to learn was to be a little more flexible to dare to trust that something would be there when I needed it and to stop having it have to be a certain thing toe open up to the fact that it might be something totally different than what I was expecting.

But all my needs are met, and I've never had much money I made it through.

It's not got to do with money.

There's an awful lot of ways we can talk ourselves out of doing what needs to be done.

And one of them is to say we don't have enough money women, so we don't have any guts when I say we're too old homes to say that we're just not like other people that were born, two flawed.

I don't know anybody ever worked with who I feel was as damaged as I was.

Um, I have gone through hell.

Life has been a torture for me, and I still was able to heal that.

And if I can heal it, I say any of you can, too.

Um, don't talk yourself out of doing what needs to be done because you deserve yourself.

You deserve to be there for yourself, and that's learning to love yourself.

Just being there.