How many of you have played musical instruments before?

Do instruments of torture count?

No.

Is mayonnaise an instrument?

No, Patrick, mayonnaise is not an instrument.

Horseradish is not an instrument either.

That's fine, no one has any experience.

Fortunately, I have enough talent for all of you.

[laughing]

All of you.

[laughing]

[laughter subsiding]

[coughing]

When do we get the free food?

Okay, try to repeat after me.

[inhaling]

[music playing]

Brass section, go.

[playing sharp notes]

Good. Now the wind.

[playing flat notes]

And the drums.

[sputtering]

Too bad that didn't kill me.

Let's just try stepping in rhythm.

Now, I want everyone to stand in straight rows of five.

ls this the part where we start kicking?

No, SpongeBob, that's a chorus line.

Kicking?!

Oh, I want to do some kicking!

[grunting]

Why, you...

Why, I ought to...

[yelling]

[bellowing]

Whoever's the owner of the white sedan,

you left your lights on.

[horn blowing notes]

[horn blowing]

Nice try, Squidward.

Nice try what?

The phone will ring and there will be no one there.

Oh, you crack me up.

SpongeBob, I'm not doing this.

Calm down, calm down.

Alright, what was it? There was the lights...

And the phone.

And the walls will ooze green slime?

Oh wait, they always do that.

But what was that third thing?

I didn't know the buses ran this late.

They don't.

Well, they're dropping someone off.

[screaming]

The Sash Ringing-- The Flash Singing--

The Fash Pinging--

The Hash Slinging Slasher!

[crying]

At last you understand, we're doomed.

No, that's not it.

I am just so touched that you would go to the trouble

to dress up as a ghostly fry cook

and stand on the other side of the street, just to entertain me.

You must really like me!

SpongeBob, there are two problems with your theory.

One, I hate you.

And two, how could that be me, when I'm standing right here?

[screaming]

The Hash Slinging Slasher!

Get away from me! Oh, he's gonna flip me!

Get away, get away!

SpongeBob, no matter what I've said,

I've always sort of liked you.

Squidward, I used your clarinet to unclog my toilet.

Huh?

Get away from me! Get out of here! You're not welcome here!

Can I have a job application?

I brought my own spatula.

I called earlier, but I hung up 'cause I was nervous.

Do you have references?

There it is.

The finest eating establishment ever established for eating.

The Krusty Krab, home of the Krabby Patty

with a Help Wanted sign in the window.

For years I've been dreaming of this moment.

I'm gonna go in there, march straight to the manager

look him straight in the eye, lay it on the line and...

I can't do this!

- Patrick! - Where do you think you're going?

- I was just... - No, you're not.

You're going to the Krusty Krab and get that job.

I can't, don't you see?

I'm not good enough.

Whose first words were "May I take your order"?

Mine were.

Who made a spatula out of toothpicks in wood shop?

I did.

Who's a...

[groaning]

Who's...

Who's the big yellow cube with holes?

I am!

- Who's ready? - I'm ready!

- Who's ready? - I'm ready!

- Who's ready? - I'm ready!