Welcome to this English lesson about marriage.

I'm here today with Jen the Canadian, my wife,

and together, we are going to try and teach you

a few English words and phrases

that you would use when talking about marriage,

and at the same time, we're going to answer some questions

that you submitted to us yesterday

about us and about our marriage.

(chiming music)

Well hey, welcome to this English lesson about marriage.

I want to thank all of you that sent us questions.

We will try to answer as many of them as possible

as we go through this lesson,

and as I answer each question,

and as Jen helps me to answer each question,

we will try to teach you a little bit

of English along the way.

So hey, the first set of questions

that Jen and I are going to try and answer

are questions about how we met

and how long we dated for before we got married.

The first question is from xabi riko35

and the question is, "How, when, and where did you meet?"

Over to you Jen.

- Okay, I met Bob when we were both

at the same university.

He was friends with my sister's boyfriend at the time,

so through my sister and that connection, we met, yeah.

- Yeah, a few times, here and there.

- Yeah. - We met here and there,

and then eventually,

did you ask me out or did I ask you out?

- Well, Bob rode a motorcycle at the time,

and I wanted, I was, I asked you for a ride.

- That's right, that's how it all started.

Question number two from wan c,

"Hi Jen, you are a lucky woman,"

you are a lucky, (Jen laughs)

(laughs) you are a lucky woman,

"how did you know he was your type?"

So, how did you know I was your type?

- Well, I think first I thought you were kinda cute,

you (laughs). (Bob laughs)

He was cute and he was funny, he made me laugh.

He just seemed like a nice guy,

so, I thought, "hey, I'm gonna ask him out for a ride."

- Yeah, yep, I guess, I think I'm still kinda funny

but I try my best. - You still make me laugh.

- I do, yeah. - Yeah.

- In fact, we've been laughing quite a bit,

just trying to get this video started.

(both laugh)

Question number three, Amanda Yap,

"how long were you together

"or dating before getting married?"

So, I'm actually having trouble remembering this,

but I think we dated for about five years?

- No. - How long did we date?

Four years. - Three.

- Three years. (Jen laughs)

We dated for about three years,

see this is how it goes,

when you get older, (laughs) you start to forget things.

Deekshansh Pathak, hi Deekshansh, has the next question.

"What's the one thing that you like the most

"about each other when you first met?

"Is it still the same after years of marriage?

"If not, what is it now?" (Jen laughs)

Do you want me to go first? - Yeah, okay, you go.

- That's a good question. - That's a hard question.

- It's a good question though,

I think. - It's a great question.

- Yeah, so, I would say the same things

that I liked about Jen then, I still like now.

She's very beautiful, (Jen laughs)

she's very intelligent.

I think those were probably two of the things

that I liked the most about her

when I first met her

and then she's a very funny person.

So, she's just fun to be around.

So, I would say, she was beautiful and intelligent

and then as I got to know her,

I found out that she was pretty funny too

and those three things are still pretty important right now.

What about you, Jen?

- Well, I already said what I first liked,

you were funny, - Yes.

- Bob was just a really nice guy.

I just really had a sense

that you were just a really nice guy

and that you would be very kind to me.

We had a lot of fun together,

I thought you were funny too

and Bob was really hardworking,

I like that. - Oh, yeah.

- He was very responsible, you were a bit older than me.

So, maybe, - Yeah.

- I don't know but you still had

these very trustworthy qualities

that I liked. - Oh.

- And I think you still have that.

- Yeah. (both laugh)

Thank you.

So, the next set of questions has to do

with when we got married and our marriage in general.

First question is from Rafael Guadalupe Ortiz Vasquez,

I hope I said your name right.

"Is the word fiancé used for both the man

"and the woman who are just engaged?"

So, I'll answer this one.

So, when Jen and I got engaged, I proposed to Jen.

So, I asked her to marry me

and I gave her an engagement ring, and she said "yes."

That's very, that was nice of you.

(both laugh) And then after that,

you would say that Jen was my fiancée

and Jen would also say that I was her fiancé.

So, it is the same word for both the man and the woman

and you would then say that we were engaged.

So, there was a proposal, I gave Jen an engagement ring,

she became my fiancée, I became her fiancé

and we were then engaged to be married.

Oh! - This is my ring.

- Oh, that is the ring.

You can hold it right up to the camera.

It might focus onto it

but sometimes doesn't actually see it.

- Does that work? - Yeah, I think

it's still focused on your face.

Oh well. - It doesn't fit (laughs).

- Yes. - Anymore.

It used to. - It used to.

Kenny Fong has the next question,

"what things or gifts do guests give the bride

"and groom at a wedding?"

So, on our wedding day,

the day when you get married is called a wedding day.

On our wedding day, people gave us many gifts.

They gave us things to use in the kitchen,

they gave us tools, what else did they give us?

- At that time, it was a lot of just house stuff.

- Yeah, a lot of,

- Tools, like bedsheets, blankets,

- A clock. - A lot of kitchen stuff.

- A few lamps. - Lamps.

- A lot of kitchen stuff, so. - Yeah.

- That is a traditional gift

for a younger couple getting married.

You would give them things that they can use immediately

in their apartment or in their house.

- But don't you think now it's a lot more gift cards?

- Yes. - Money.

- I think people do give a lot more gift cards now.

So, that the couple can go out and buy what they need later.

Next question is from Karla,

"do you remember your honeymoon?"

Do you remember our honeymoon? - I remember our honeymoon.

- Yeah. - It wasn't very long.

- No, I was already working.

So, I was on a break from school,

we got married during a break

and then we went to Chicago.

We went to the City of Chicago,

the weather wasn't great, was it?

- No (laughs). - No, it was very foggy.

It wasn't actually super cold,

it was kind of just miserable would be a good way to,

the honeymoon was great,

we enjoyed hanging out with each other

and going out to restaurants and all that stuff

but the city itself was, yeah, kind of just an,

I just remember it being, - Chicago is a great place.

- It's a great place (laughs) - We just,

went at the wrong time

and maybe not as prepared as we should have been

- Yes. - To really embrace all

that Chicago has. - Yeah.

We'd like to go back someday. - Yeah.

- Next question, Mr. Bauka says,

"I'm 30 now and single,

"at what age did you and Jen get married?

"Also, at what age

"in Canada do people normally get married?"

We got married in our 20s,

so we were both in our 20s when we got married.

But the age in Canada

when people get married is slowly going up.

It's probably late 20s, early 30s now

when people normally get married.

Next question, Mila Polk,

"we usually wear a ring on the right-hand finger

"and when divorced we wear the same ring

"on the left-hand finger.

"Do you have the same tradition?

"How long have you been married?

"We have been married for 46 years."

Oh, congratulations, that is a long time.

We wear a ring on the ring finger on our left hand.

- This would be, - That's where,

- It goes like this, right? - Yes, if it fits.

- I just have to get it resized and I,

once I started having kids, my,

I think my joints expanded

and they don't fit

and I just haven't gotten it, - Yes.

- Redone, but, - Which is okay.

Generally farmers don't wear rings.

Did you know that? - Yeah, I don't think

I would wear this, - Yeah.

- While I'm farming anyways. - 'Cause it gets dirty

and it might get wrecked, those kinds of things.

Let's see here, do you, no we do not have a tradition

where you switch the ring if you are separated or divorced.

We usually, if someone was to be divorced,

they would just go their separate ways.

Sharon has the next question, "hello Bob and Jen,

"this topic caught my interest immediately

"because I'm recently married,

"marrying someone who you love is wonderful

"but somehow I feel a bit of fear

"that I may have lost a part of myself at the same time.

"Can you relate to this kind of feeling?

"If yes, how do you deal with it?

"If not, is there any advice for beginners like me?"

That's a deep question, that's a tough one.

- I, when we got married, you had a job and I didn't

and I think I, I think our hardest years

of being married were the first,

- Yes. - The first one

and there's a couple other in there

but and I think I totally relate to what you say

that I thought I lost a bit,

I left my university, I left my friends,

I didn't have a job, I don't know really who,

what I was gonna do.

Like, I knew I wanted to teach

but it was really, I think a difficult time.

What helped me was I actually ended up getting a job

and then I was just really busy and life got busy.

- That was a good answer. - Was that a good answer?

- Yeah. - I don't have a lot

of advice though. - I think it's good

to be honest.

Well, my advice would relate to what you said

that I think the first year of marriage can be really tough

and I think you need to work hard together

as a couple to get through it.

If there's, I mean, you're learning to live together.

We disagreed on who got to use what drawer

in the bathroom for our stuff.