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  • NO SURPRISE, I'M STILL AT HOME.

  • AND CHANCES ARE, SO ARE YOU.

  • BUT WHILE MOST OF US ARE DOING OUR PART TO STAY HOME AND STAY

  • SAFE, SOME PROTESTERS HAVE ACTUALLY BEEN RISKING INFECTION

  • BY TAKING TO THE STREETS AND DEMANDING NONESSENTIAL SERVICES,

  • LIKE HAIRCUTS-- FOR EXAMPLE, THIS PROTESTER IN WISCONSIN WITH

  • AN "I WANT A HAIRCUT" SIGN.

  • AND THIS GUY IN LOS ANGELES WHO DEMANDED TO KNOW "WHO DO I HAVE

  • TO SCREW FOR A HAIRCUT?" A SIGN THAT REALLY SHOULD HAVE

  • READ, "IS THERE ANY HAIRCUT I COULD GET THAT WOULD MAKE

  • SOMEONE SEXUALLY ATTRACTED TO ME?"

  • NOW, SOME STATES HAVE STARTED LOOSENING RESTRICTIONS ON

  • NON-ESSENTIAL BUSINESSES, BUT IN PLACES LIKE NEW YORK,

  • SALONS AND BARBERSHOPS REMAIN CLOSED.

  • WE'VE BEEN LOCKED UP FOR ALMOST TWO MOTHS NOW, AND WE'RE GETTING

  • A LITTLE SHAGGY.

  • BUT THAT DOES NOT MEAN YOU CAN'T STILL FIND WAYS TO LOOK GOOD.

  • IN FACT, ONE OF MY PRODUCERS, BARRY, RECENTLY WANTED A

  • HAIRCUT, AND INSTEAD OF STORMING THE NEAREST GOVERNMENT BUILDING

  • WITH AN AUTOMATIC WEAPON, HE THOUGHT OF A WAY TO GET ONE AT

  • HOME.

  • JIM.

  • >> Stephen: HEY, BARRY.

  • >> HEY, STEPHEN.

  • >> Stephen: HOW LONG HAS IT BEEN SINCE YOU GOT A HAIRCUT?

  • >> AT A GUESS, FIVE MONTHS.

  • >> Stephen: FIVE MONTHS?

  • YOU KNOW WE'VE ONLY BEEN SEQUESTERED FOR 6 WEEKS.

  • IS THERE ANYTHING YOU'RE GOING TO MISS ABOUT HAVING THE LONG

  • HAIR?

  • >> THE ONE THING I WILL MISS IS THE ABILITY TO DO THIS.

  • ♪ ♪ ♪ >> Stephen: WHAT FAMILY MEMBER

  • IS GOING TO BE HELPING YOU OUT TODAY?

  • >> MY 10 YEAR OLD SON.

  • HEY, BUD.

  • >> Stephen: I KNOW THAT YOU MAY ONLY BE 10 YEARS OLD, BUT TODAY,

  • YOU ARE A HAIRCUTTING MAN.

  • THIS IS YOUR BARBER MITZVAH.

  • CONGRATULATIONS.

  • WHAT DO YOU HAVE IN MIND FOR YOUR DAD?

  • IT'S IMPORTANT THAT THE BARBER HAVE A VISION OF WHAT THE HEAD

  • SHOULD LOOK LIKE.

  • WHAT DO YOU-- WHAT DO YOU SEE WHEN YOU LOOK AT YOUR DAD'S

  • HEAD?

  • >> A STRIPE.

  • >> Stephen: A STRIPE?

  • >> JUST A STRIPE STRAIGHT THROUGH THE MIDDLE.

  • >> Stephen: JUST A STRIPE?

  • UH, WHAT TOOLS ARE YOU GOING TO USE?

  • >> SCISSORS.

  • >> Stephen: OH!

  • LET ME SEE THOSE SCISSORS AGAIN?

  • THAT IS GREAT IF YOU'RE GOING TO SEGMENT A CHICKEN.

  • DO YOU HAVE ANY BAND-AIDS HANDY AND READY TO GO?

  • >> DO WE?

  • >> WE DO.

  • >> Stephen: OKAY, BUDDY, WHERE YOU GOING TO START?

  • FRONT?

  • BACK?

  • >> AT THE BACK, BACK.

  • >> Stephen: GOOD.

  • GOOD CHOICE YEAH, THAT'S IT.

  • JUST GRAB SOME AND, YEAH, DO NOT HESITATE.

  • GET SOME OF THAT WEIGHT OUT OF THERE.

  • >> THESE THINGS ARE SO DULL.

  • >> Stephen: SOMETIMES YOU'VE JUST GOT TO MUSCLE YOUR WAY

  • THROUGH THE HAIR.

  • BE CAREFUL, TRY TO CUT ACROSS.

  • NOT STRAIGHT AT HIS SPINE.

  • >> WE ARE GETTING CLOSE TO THAT EAR ON THAT SIDE, BUDDY.

  • >> OH, THAT WAS A GOOD FISTFUL.

  • >> Stephen: THAT WAS A GOOD CHUNK.

  • ( LAUGHTER ) >> Stephen: IT'S LIKE YOU JUST

  • REMOVED A MUSKRAT FROM HIS HEAD.

  • NONE OF THE HAIR IS BLEEDING, IS IT?

  • ( LAUGHTER ) OKAY, LET'S, UH, LET'S MAYBE DO

  • THE SIDE OF YOUR DAD'S HAIR?

  • CAREFUL.

  • IT'S ALWAYS FUNNY TIL SOMEONE LOSES AN EAR.

  • LET'S TAKE A LITTLE OFF THE TOP.

  • >> YEAH >> Stephen: MAESTRO.

  • ARE YOU ENJOYING THIS RIGHT NOW?

  • >> YES!

  • >> Stephen: DAD, WOULD NOW BE A GOOD TIME TO DISCUSS HIS

  • ALLOWANCE?

  • ( LAUGHTER ) WELL, I THINK IT MIGHT BE TIME

  • TO GIVE THE ELECTRIC CLIPPERS A WHIRL.

  • >> HOW DO YOU EVEN USE THIS?

  • >> Stephen: NOW IMAGINE THAT THIS IS A HORROR MOVIE, AND IT'S

  • PERFECTLY DARK.

  • CLOSE YOUR EYES, BOTH OF YOU.

  • AND JUST TURN THAT SWITCH ON.

  • IT'S TOTALLY DARK ( BUZZING )

  • THIS IS ALL YOU HEAR.

  • >> THAT'S CREEPY >> Stephen: AND GO.

  • TAKE YOUR TIME.

  • RIGHT DOWN THE MIDDLE, YEAH.

  • OKAY, LET'S PAUSE FOR A SECOND AND JUST SEE OUR PROGRESS.

  • >> DOES IT LOOK GOOD?

  • >> Stephen: I'M REALLY HAPPY WITH IT.

  • ARE YOU FEELING COMFORTABLE WITH THOSE CLIPPERS?

  • AGAIN, LET'S-- THAT REALLY CAPTURES YOUR ATTENTION WHEN HE

  • SNAPS THAT THING ON.

  • >> SURE DOES.

  • >> WHOA!

  • >> Stephen: BARRY, HAVE YOU BEEN ABLE TO SEE YOURSELF AT ALL YET?

  • >> NO.

  • IS IT GOING WELL?

  • >> Stephen: IT IS-- IT IS VERY THOROUGH.

  • I HONESTLY LOVE WHAT I'M SEEING.

  • HOW CLOSE DO YOU THINK YOU ARE TO BEING DONE?

  • >> I'M GOING TO MAKE HIM GO TOTALLY BALD, BECAUSE THIS IS

  • FUN, SO I DON'T KNOW.

  • >> Stephen: WHAT'S LEFT, MR. BARBER?

  • >> A LOT OF THINGS ON THE BACK OF HIS HEAD.

  • >> Stephen: I DON'T KNOW.

  • I THINK IT'S LOOKING PRETTY GOOD, ACTUALLY.

  • KEEP IN MIND, DON'T GO TOO DEEPLY, BECAUSE RIGHT UNDER THAT

  • SKIN IS THE BRAIN STEM.

  • YOU DON'T WANT TO SEVER THE MEDULLA OBLONGATA

  • BARRY?

  • YOU HAVE A LOOK.

  • YOU HAVE THE LOOK OF THE FRESHLY DE-LOUSED.

  • >> HELLO?

  • YOU WANT TO BAKE MUFFINS TOGETHER?

  • >> Stephen: SO NOW, MR. BARBER, A LOT OF TIMES BARBERS WILL

  • OFFER THEIR CLIENTS SOME PRODUCT.

  • >> THAT'S LIKE A CREAM.

  • >> OH, MY GOD.

  • THAT'S SO MUCH.

  • >> Stephen: ALL RIGHT, GREAT.

  • RUB THAT ON YOUR DAD'S HEAD.

  • IT'LL GIVE YOU SOME CONTROL.

  • YEAH, RUB IT ALL IN.

  • YEAH, YEAH.

  • RUB IT ALL IN.

  • OH, YEAH.

  • GET SOME ON THE SIDES NOW.

  • THAT'S GOOD.

  • THAT ACTUALLY HELPED.

  • >> DOES IT?

  • >> Stephen: YES, YOU LOOK LIKE STEPHEN MILLER.

  • >> WHO'S STEPHEN MILLER?

  • >> Stephen: HE'S VERY NICE MAN.

  • HE WANTS ONLY THE BEST FOR AMERICA.

  • YOU'RE GETTING A TURKISH MASSAGE AT THE SAME TIME.

  • YEAH, SPRAY IT DOWN.

  • MAKE SURE-- REALLY REFRESHING.

  • >> RIGHT THERE?

  • >> Stephen: RIGHT THERE, YEP.

  • OK, UH, NOW I THINK IT MIGHT BE TIME FOR BARRY TO SEE HIS

  • HAIRCUT.

  • >> I'M TURNING ON THE CAMERA.

  • I'M EXITING FULL SCREEN SO I CAN GET TO--

  • OH, MY GOD!

  • >> Stephen: OH, OH YEAH!

  • >> OH, MY GOD.

  • OH, NOOOO.

  • WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?

  • >> WHAT DO YOU THINK, SWEETIE?

  • >> IT'S SOMETHING.

  • >> Stephen: YEAH, YOU'RE NEXT!

  • >> YOU WANT TO HAVE A SEAT?

  • >> NO, YOU'RE NOT GETTING NEAR ME.

  • >> Stephen: BARRY, THE GOOD NEWS IS YOU DON'T HAVE TO GO INTO THE

  • OFFICE TOMORROW.

  • >> THAT IS GOOD NEWS, STEPHEN.

  • >> Stephen: THANK YOU.

  • THANK YOU FOR YOUR HAIR, BARRY >> Stephen: LOOKING GOOD, BARRY!

  • WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH THE ONLY AUTHOR WHO COULD ACCURATELY

  • DESCRIBE THAT HAIRCUT, STEPHEN KING!

  • ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪

NO SURPRISE, I'M STILL AT HOME.

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