The story of how I met your mother.

Here I go, or--

- I'm exhausted, it was finger painting day at school

and a five year old boy, got to second base with me.

(audience laughing)

A man with more emotional endurance

than anyone I know, it was a long,

difficult road, thank God we finally got here.

- Here, here.

- [All] Here, here.

- Hey, so you know how I've always

had a thing for half-Asian girls?

(audience laughing)

Well now I've got a new favorite, Lebanese girls.

(audience laughing)

Lebanese girls are the new half-Asians.

(audience laughing)

- Congrats. - Right, yeah, thanks.

A kid, I'm tired.

(audience laughing)

But, she's awesome.

- Yeah? - Yeah.

Daddy's home.

- Wow, you're cooking?

- Yes I am.

- Aw.

- Do you have any idea what happened,

right here, in this very bar?

- No, what happened?

- Just, all kinds of stuff.

- Are we being punished for something?

(audience laughing) - [Ted] No.

- Yeah, is this gonna take a while?

- Yes.

All right, I'll give her a call.

- Do it.

- I am.

- Call her.

(audience laughing) - I'm calling her.

- Great.

(audience laughing) - Here I go.

♪ Which I never knew. ♪

- Hi, one ticket to Farhampton, please.

Funny how, sometimes, you just find things.

- Hi. - Hi.

- Hi.

- Let me guess, Ted.

(audience laughing)

(casual music)

All right, home sweet home.

Wait one second.

Okay, stay, we'll work on that.

(buzzer buzzing)

Television, display front door security.

Television display--

Oh, for Pete sakes.

♪ May come and go ♪

♪ Crooked dreams, they always glow ♪

♪ Remember, remember ♪

♪ All we fight for ♪

♪ Remember, remember ♪