What's your problem, schmuck ?

l'm an inconsiderate prick !

[ Siren Wailing ]

Oh, shit !

Shit !

- You know why l pulled you over ? - Depends on how long you were following me !

- Why don't we take it from the top ? - Here goes.

l sped, l followed too closely, l ran a stop sign,

l almost hit a Chevy, l sped some more, l failed to yield,

l changed lanes without signaling while speeding !

- Is that all ? - No.

l have unpaid parking tickets.

[ Groans ]

Be gentle.

Audrey ! Wait !

Wait, Audrey. Ooh ! Hold on. Wait !

Wait. l iust had an insight into myself. l'm crazy.

You call and say, ''Wait, l'll be right over,''

and here's the crazy part-- l actually wait.

- l can explain this. - l have missed a department meeting.

- Did you come in a cab ? - Yes !

Where's your car ?

Thank you ! l can't tell you how much this means to me.

- l can. $1,654.11. - How do you sleep at night ?

l'm takin' this. [ Inhales Loudly ]

[ Loud Crunch ]

[ Tires Squealing ]

You scratched my car !

- Where ? - Right there !

Oh, there. That was already there.

Why, you--

You liar !

-You know what l'm gonna do about this ? -What ?

Nothing ! Because if l take you to court, it'll drain eight hours out of my life,

and you won't show up, and if l got the judgement, you'd just stiff me anyway !

So l'm gonna piss and moan like an impotent jerk...

and then bend over and take it up the tailpipe !

You been here before, haven't ya ?