I don't know, candy?

不知道，糖果？

Good morning, I'm the new nanny.

早安，我是新保母。

Mary Poppins you came!

瑪莉包萍妳真的來了！

Indeed, now where are my charges?

當然，我要照顧的孩子們在？

Duh, we're right here!

我們就在這啊！

Oh, I'm sorry, I thought that I would be looking after some children?

噢，抱歉，我以為我是要來照顧一些小孩？

Oh, I wrote that--we need help Mary Poppins.

噢，那是我寫的，瑪莉包萍我們需要幫助！

We're terrible at adulting.

我們不知道怎麼當大人。

Adulting?

當大人？

Yeah, you know, doing grown-up stuff.

對啊，就是一些大人的事。

Like going to the doctor, cooking, paying taxes.

像是看醫生、煮飯、繳稅等等。

Cars.

車子！

Cars--just the concept of cars?

車子？就是車子的基本概念？

Right, yes I do see that you do need my help.

好的，果然你們需要我的幫助。

So, ah let's start with some tidying.

好的，那我們就從整理房子開始。

♪ There's cleaning to be done but we can have some fun, ♪

♪ 打掃雖然累，但也可以很有趣 ♪

♪ Why are you still sitting there not doing anything? ♪

♪ 為什麼你們還坐在那邊什麼都不做？♪

Oh, we don't clean.

噢，我們沒在打掃的。

You don't clean?

不打掃？

No, we're grown-ups. There's no one forcing us to do mundane life things, so we don't.

當然，我們是大人欸，沒人強迫我們去做這些世俗的事務，所以我們不做。

How did all this fit in there?

這些東西是怎麼放進去的？

Good little girls don't go through other people's things.

乖女孩不會亂翻別人的東西。

I'm not a girl.

我才不是女孩。

If you won't clean, let's start with something else.

如果你們不打掃，那就從別的開始吧！

When was the last time any of you went to the dentist?

你們上次看牙醫是什麼時候？

♪ See your dentist once a year and you will have no fear ♪

♪ 一年看一次牙醫，你恐懼不再來 ♪

Where do I find a dentist?

牙醫去哪找？

Oh your insurance provider should have a list of the...

你的保險顧問應該會有一串名單...

Is there a difference between a preferred provider and a participating provider?

優選顧問跟合約顧問的差別在?

Practically perfect plan participants provide people plenty...

好的顧問會提供...

Oh, I got frustrated and started watching fails.

噢，我厭煩了所以就開始看這個。

Well, did you at least eat anything today?

你們至少今天有吃東西了吧？

I had, um, three cookies?

我吃了...三片餅乾吧？

I had a flavored condom.

我吃了一個有口味的保險套。

I had Grant's left-overs.

我吃 Grant 吃剩的。

Okay, so why don't I teach you all how to make yourselves a balanced dinner?

好的，不如就來教教你們如何自己做一份營養均衡的晚餐吧。

♪ A simple cup of rice ♪

♪ 一杯米就好 ♪

What are you looking for now?

妳現在是又在找什麼？

I'm looking to see if there's like cereal or something I can eat instead of cooking.

我在找裡面有沒有麥片之類的東西，這樣我就不用煮了。

Like a Think Thin?

像是蛋白棒嗎？

Making cereal doesn't count as cooking.

用麥片不算是下廚。

Cooking is boring!

下廚無聊死了！

Lots of adult things are boring, you do them anyway.

很多大人的事都很無聊，你還是會做啊。

I mean, you don't enjoy paying your power bill, do you?

就像是，你不會付電費付得很開心吧？

You do pay your power bill, don't you?

你們會付電費吧？

♪ LADWP it powers you and me, hello! ♪

♪ LADWP 照亮你和我，哈囉！♪

I'm making all these up on the spot, it's quite impressive.

我是當場即興這些句子的，蠻厲害的吧！

You can't swing into a river on a rope.

你不能用繩子盪到河裡。

No way!

不可能！

It never works.

不會成功的。

What is wrong with you?

你們到底是怎樣！

Well...

這個嘛...

♪ Mary Poppins you know we, ♪

♪ 瑪莉包萍妳懂的 ♪

♪ Lack accountability, when you grow up, ♪

♪ 我們兩個就是廢，當你長大 ♪

Ally, get out of my bag!

不要碰我的袋子，Ally！

There's someone in here!

裡面有人！

Hey what's up it's Ally from College Humor, click here to subscribe, click here to see more cool stuff, and if you want see a hot babe in the city, click her--i made that, this is what I like.

嗨我是 College Humor 的 Ally，點擊這邊訂閱，點擊這邊看更多有趣的內容。而如果你想看到城市裡的辣妹，點這，這我做的，我喜歡。