We're a lot stronger than we think we are.

(upbeat music)

Hi, everyone.

Michael Franzese here.

I'm sure many of you are familiar with me on Buzzfeed.

I've done a number of things,

former caporegime, Colombo family in New York.

But what many of you may not know

is that I spent a lot of time in solitary confinement.

I actually spent 29 months and seven days in the hole,

a six-by-eight cell, 24/7.

And people, I gotta tell ya, that's not easy.

Now why I think this is appropriate to talk about today,

obviously, many of us are being confined or quarantined,

we can't leave our homes,

and some of us are really struggling with that.

But let me give you some good advice,

and let me tell you what I went through.

Many of you know that I walked away from that life,

and you can't do that.

So there was a contract on my life,

people were pretty upset with me,

and I was actually in solitary, they alleged,

for my own protection.

In addition to that, the government was trying very hard

to get me to cooperate against my former associates,

and I refused to get on the stand,

and as punishment, basically,

when they put me back in prison, they kept me in solitary.

Being in solitary, being alone,

not able to look at television, no internet,

I would get the newspapers five or six days later

after they would come out.

The worst enemy I had was my clock.

I didn't want to know what time it was.

Every day was pretty much the same.

There was no differentiating the days,

and sometimes, the only time I knew

that the day was different was by the food

that they gave us.

There was a time there when I thought

I might spend the rest of my life in that hole.

And I'll be honest with you, that was pretty scary.

It was pretty rough thinking that, this was it.

Fortunately, we're not in that situation.

And I'm gonna give you some tips,

some things that you might do

that I did when I was in solitary

that might help you pass the time and get you through it.

If I didn't have books to read,

I don't know how I would have made it, honestly.

My wife sent me in over 400 books,

and anything that I'd get my hands on, I would read.

Fictions, nonfictions, novels,

anything that kinda just took me out of that hole.

It was important, because when you read,

it takes you out of the place that you're in.

You kinda get involved in the story

and you get immersed in it,

and you stop thinking of your surroundings.

So read as much as you possibly can.

I'm not telling you to read the newspaper

and go online and read all of the stuff that's on there.

Read books.

Don't be glued to your television set.

We're looking at the news 24/7, some of us.

We hear conflicting reports.

We hear bad reports.

We hear people coming down with the virus.

Get your information, and then get away from it.

You don't want this to bring you down day in and day out.

Listening to the news every day is not gonna change it.

Be informed, know what's going on,

but don't divulge an over-appetite on the news.

Not good.

On the internet, a lot of false information

is going around there.

Don't panic over information that you're getting on the Web.

Make sure the source is proper,

and just do what you're told,

and that's how we'll get through this thing.

Exercise, get your body fit, very important.

When I tried to keep myself going, I mean, I exercised.

I did pushups.

I did sit-ups.

I did chin-ups when I was able to.

You don't have to have a gym in your house.

You don't have to have weights and so on and so forth.

You can improvise.

But if you have 'em, use 'em.

A lot of times, you got 'em in the house

and you don't use 'em.

You got 'em, use 'em.

Exercise, get your body fit, very important.

For some of us that are not in great shape,

this might be a good time to get that diet right.

You know, when I was in the hole,

I'll be honest with you,

I lost, I think, 20 some odd pounds.

Four times I got food poisoning

from different things that they served.

So I stopped eating a lot of stuff in there.

I actually survived on cereal, bananas, and Cup-A-Soup,

anything that was packaged that I would trust and eat.

If you're confined to the house, you can eat properly.

You don't get the right foods.

This is the time to do it and focus on it,

and really make that something important.

It's your own personal body.

It's your own health.

You should do that.

Think of things to do around the house

that you never had a chance to do.

You know me?

My office.

I finally, we just moved into this home

a little less than a year ago,

and I still had boxes that I hadn't emptied out yet

and I hadn't looked at.

Well, we now have a chance to do that.

Things that you never thought you were able to do,

you had no time to do, now's a good time.

One of the things that I've found so comforting

was really listening to music.

Music can be so uplifting.

When I had that Sony Walkman and I had that earphones,

I mean, they just took me out of the cell

for quite some time.

I'll never forget, one of the most difficult times in prison

and especially in solitary, in the hole,

was during the holidays.

You're thinking about your family.

It's a tough time in there.

You're all alone.

It's like every day is the same,

but you do know it's a holiday.

I'll never forget, one Christmas Eve,

I was honestly pretty depressed.

I mean, you're young and you get depressed,

and I was just laying down on my bed,

and I had my earphones on,

and a song came out that I'll never forget.

♪ Mary's boy child Jesus Christ ♪

- "Mary's Boy Child."

And for some reason, that song just uplifted me that night.

I started thinking about positive things,

and it just helped me get through the night

and actually through to Christmas Day.

So music can be a great, great source of encouragement,

so put those earphones on.

Get some quiet time by yourself.

Some of you have kids running around the house, I know.

But get some quiet time and listen to some uplifting music.

Boy, I'm telling you, it really helps.

It was 25 years ago that I was released from prison,

but, I mean, when I think about it,

it becomes so vivid to me,

I can put myself back in that cell in a second

when I close my eyes and I think about it.

You know what was the worst thing for me?

Worrying about what my family was doing every day.

I'll tell you one thing that happened.

At midnight every night,

I used to get the phone just for a minute.

Well, one night, I get that phone,

and I looked forward to that so much to talk to my wife,

see what my kids were doing,

and my father-in-law picks up the phone,

and I said, "What's happening?

"Where's Connie?"

And he said, "The kids are in trouble.

"She had to take them to the emergency room,"

and then the phone shut off.

It shut off.

I couldn't call back.

I had no idea what happened.

I didn't know if there was an accident.

It was the worst 24 hours of my life

until I was able to get to the phone

at midnight the following night.

They were fine.

But that 24 hours, people, I wanted to die.

I really mean that,

'cause I thought maybe I lost my family.

I didn't know what would happen.

It wasn't till maybe I was halfway through it

that I started to feel,

okay, maybe I really am gonna get out of this situation.

But we have it good today, people.

Confinement or quarantine in the house

is not as bad as we might think it is, trust me.

I'll admit, we've never been through

anything like this before.

I certainly don't remember anything like this

in my lifetime, but you gotta get yourself uplifted

and encouraged, and you gotta know

that we're gonna get through this thing.

So hopefully, I've been a little bit of an encouragement

to you.

Again, if I got through 29 months and seven days

in solitary, a six-by-eight cell, 24/7,

nothing around me, I know we're gonna come out of this

all okay.

We're a lot stronger than we think we are.