if it's the last thing I'll ever do..

就算這是我人生最後一樣要完成的事

This game is easy ok

這個遊戲很簡單，好嗎？

If you haven't played this game it's a piece of cake.

如果你還沒有玩過這個遊戲，這是小菜一碟。

This cake is- it's not a very delicious cake

雖然這菜－不是一個非常美味的小菜

but it's a cake.

但這就是我說要吃的－

That needs to be eaten

小菜一碟

ALIVE

活生生的吃掉

First you got to make sure you go up here

首先，你必須確保你上來這裡

right okay alright

沒問題？OK

Slow down there cowboy we're not speedrunning it~

冷靜點，大哥 速度不是重點

Now we got to get up to the rake

現在，我們得爬上去那個耙

which you might think "oh that's impossible"

你可能認為 “哦，那是不可能的”

it's actually super easy.

但實際上這超級容易。

now THIS bit you want to go out as far as possible

現在在這個位置你要盡可能的爬出去

and you want to pendulum swing

之後要鐘擺一樣甩上去

and that actually makes the slide 20 times eazier

而這讓滑梯這一段容易20倍

a lot of people struggle on the slide

很多人都在滑梯卡關

NØŦ ĐƗS ǤUɎ

我就不同了

there's another one of those where you just have to launch yourself

這裡就是那些要把自己彈出去的地方

and right before you go

正當你要去的時候－

YOU'RE GONNA AAAAAAA

－你要AAAAAAA

THAT'S HOW ITS DONE

這就是了

So what you want to do is you want to grab the hammer heAre

你要做的是在這裡抓住錘子

ᵃⁿᵈ ʸᵒᵘ ʷᵃⁿⁿᵃ ᵍᵒ ???? very slowly

非常緩慢的慢慢降下去

Vewy nice

很不錯

Oh god! That's not slow. Bu- you're not going slow right now buddy

天啊！這太快了 你走太快了，朋友

Oh you oh no you- I made a terrible...

哦，你哦，不，你 - 我犯了一個可怕的......

OH look at that

喔，你看？

Oh look at that

哦，你看？

You thought I made a terribLE mihftake (mistake w/ his shitty swedish accent jk)

你以為我犯了一個可怕的錯誤－

j̶u̶s̶t̶ ̶s̶h̶u̶t̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶f̶u̶c̶k̶ ̶u̶p̶

(你給我閉嘴）

Now we're gonna do the same trick as we have done before

現在，我們要使用以前做過的伎倆

nooow I've only- AH~ MY GOD okay

現在我－啊－我的天－OK

we're just gonna we're just gonna fucking- PRRRRRRRA

我們只需要... 我們只需要他媽的－ PRRRRRRRA

THAT'S WHAT IT MEANS to be a ~ AAAAAAAAAAAAAA

這就是當贏家的－ AAAAAAAAAAAAAA

NO!! NO FUCK YOU! [laugh, and the world laughs with you.]

不！！ 不！幹你的！ [旁白：笑，就整個世界和你一起笑－]

FUCK YOU THEN [Weep, and you weep alone.]

幹你的！ [哭，你就自己一個孤單的哭]

[For the sad old-] IDIDIDIDIDI would you- can you be quiet?

[對於傷心的－] 吱吱喳喳－ 你能安靜下來嗎？

Can I turn him off?

我能把他關掉嗎？

Can I turm in off???

我可以把他關掉嗎???

oh wow the game just became better

喔看看，整個遊戲忽然改善了

OH

哦

OH hello

哦！你好

What's up?! What's up?!!

怎麼了？！怎麼了？！

fuck you

幹你的

What's up everybody it's-yA boi

大家好呀－老子來了－

fuUUᵘck oh god what have I done?

幹！ 天啊，我都做了什麼？

AAAH look at that SKILL look at that skiiiill babah

AAAH看看我神一般的技巧 看看我的神技巧－寶寶們

game journalist little 5000 right there (??)

這就是遊戲記者5000（??）

WUOAH

嘩喔－！

POwer move

懸盪向上

POWER mo-

懸盪向 . . .

...

懸盪向上

POWER MOVE

懸盪向上

ᴾᴼᵂᴱᴿ ᴹᴼⱽᴱ (??)

先左再右

Hell yeah man!! You killin' it Felix OOH

爽啦 ! !

OOOOOOOH (look at his tougue)

你辦到了 Felix

NO (omg my ears)

( 是的，我知道你們經常只在 YouTube 或 Twitch 上目睹這種悲劇 )

????'? ???? ????????? ??? ??? *moaning*

靠！！

"Pewds you're using macros" Shut the fuck up

怎麼樣啊？這就是林北的實力

excuse me the door is ringing

Pewds 你用了自動化操作 給林北閉嘴

(pewds butt has gone away with his dignity)

抱歉，有人在按門鈴

oh hi ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

林北可是YouTube上最屌的玩家。

(the visitor is IMPACIENT (the doorbell rang 2 times)) (caution phone users)

往上爬啊 !

(i warned ya)

往上 . . .

(THREE TIMES NOW)

幹 !

(wait. Is it a bell?)

靠 !

I'm the best goddamn gamer on YouTube.

這裡超煩的！!

lift me up... like- fuck and- dammit! It's so FRUSTRATING

我完全失去理智

*laughs*

抓著錘子在那邊亂揮

I have no control. I'm just like waving my foot

吸我 ㄉㄧ . . . 腳趾

(look at his mouth, again)

給林北上去啦！！！！

SUCK ON MY fucking toes (?)

給點力好嗎？

*unintelligible groanings*

喔！天啊！

(Pewds you ok?)

他只是在那邊@%($＆&*

GET UUUUUUP

不！！

Can YoU SUck a DICK? My god like

不！天啊！

Oh my go-

這太 . . . . 幹！

He just prrramlehaha

喔，天啊。真該死

oh wow

這滾來滾去的小王八

no

真的很煩

(mouth)

好

(again)

就這樣

nO

到底是怎樣 林北才上得去？

I'm so fucking-

這根本就他媽上不去啊！

oh my GOD. OH. MY. GAH.

想得美 我才不會掉下去

this stupid (c/g)rumbling little thing in the mouse

想太多

and my gggGOD

林北告訴過你了 喔 天啊 我現在超緊張

'kay

這個死87

right

不！ 放輕鬆！

How in the world do I get up from there?

新策略

I keep- doesn't fucking going anywhere

新策略

No. We do not go down there.

而我將一飛 . . .

No.

不！

We talked about this. Oh my god it, it- I'm sweating so much.

不！

This stupid guy

喔 天啊！

No. RELAX.

啊啊 幹

New strat. New strat. New strat. (strategy)

新策略

That will PIERC- nOO. No!! Oh god.

搞屁啊？上進一點好嗎 婊子

ahh fuck

南方四賤客 正義魔人校長 : 你剛剛說了歧視性言論嗎 ?

New strat.

啊啊啊啊啊啊啊！！！

What the fuck, like, launch yourself woman

哇，哇，哇

Did I just hear someone using microaggression?

發生了什麼事？剛剛怎麼了？

whoa whoa whoa what just happened? What just happened?

我是怎麼辦到的？ 我的天啊。尼已經GG惹 ( 日文 )

How did I do that? oh my god omae wa mou shindeiru (You're already dead in Japanese)

我能不能待在這裡就好？我能不能在這兒直到永遠？

Can I just sit here? Can I just sit here?

你知道嗎？據說你死前會聽到鐘聲

You know... You know they tell you you hear bells ringing before you die

我不知道它是指遊戲還是現實生活

*bells ringing*

哦哦哦 不 不

I can't tell if it's real life or the game at this point

想得美

oh oh oh no NO

想得美

NO

我才沒那麼容易被做掉

NOOO

喔 天啊

We fight BACK OOH oh

天啊

ah ah ah ah

喔

(?? r u alright?)

太好了

Oh god oh my god OH WOW

好喔

Oh-kay

好 我們正坐在馬桶上

Okay we're on the toilet Sitting on a toilet

坐在馬桶正上方

(we lost him)

( 雖然遊戲已經進行到這了 但你可能沒有親身體驗，總之我想問的是 : )

Oh huh shut up music

這音樂真的很煩

BEST GAMER ON YOUTUBE

( 你覺得如何 ? 很有壓力嗎 ? )

Didn't you think i could get it didn't you

( 但我想你並不討厭這遊戲 )

"Oh he's never going to beat this."

( 畢竟你都玩到這了 )

easy.

叫林北第一名

EASY.

你覺得我辦不到 對不對 ?

now we going down BABE. Goin down~~

哈哈 你看 他已經放棄了

It's gonna be easy.

根本沒難度

What the heck is this?

超簡單

My body is shaking

Pewds 你死定了

What what's up everybody

你永遠破不了關

Oh what? No. No. No. no no you can't be serious

這遊戲超簡單

What happens down there?

嗨～ 各位

Do I have to go up there? if I fall what happens if I fall down?

尼已經 GG 惹 ( 日文 )

You're so mean

這是尛？

whoever made this. Bennett you're so mean let's just push away this orange. Go away.

我怕怕

Can we push this out a little bit as well? No that's frozen. Okay

這招如何 ?

oh wow

( 柳橙的香甜與多汁 )

There's no checkpoints

這是怎樣

there is no checkpoint

( 全都藏在苦澀的果皮下 )

That's so mean

不可能

You're mean~

( 那層皮並非阻礙 )

oh wow okay

我沒看錯吧 ?

It's so steep.

我在做夢嗎？

It's seriously so steep.

( 反而是我所渴求的 )

Oh wow oh wow look at that look at that everybody it's your boy PewDiePie I'm gonna cry

那一定是幻覺

oh my god it gets steeper

你一定是在跟我開玩笑

(stop crying)

( 因為這份痛苦使果實更加甜美 )

It's just not fair

如果我掉下去要怎麼辦 ?

it's just not fair

難道我要再重爬一次？如果 . . .

oh my god it gets even worse

如果我掉下去怎麼辦？

Oh my god

你真的很壞誒

[you know they tell you you hear bells ringing before you die]

誰鳥作者是誰啊 ? 貝納特

NOOOOoooo

你真的很壞誒