to resident evil

today we're playing daughters

which is an experience of the beginning

of the Baker's tragic story

let's play

shall we, here we go

oh! so its a VHS tape... That's cool.

I'm really excited to- for these DLC's

I hear this one is really good

Breaking news everyone!

Keemstar here

(Keemstar) Lets get right into the news

Good one Felix

What the fuck is this?

What the fuck???

It's so weird when they mix

live action - Oh my god!

What the hell?

I'm playing as

Ooohh this is before the shit storm

Literally!

Oh my gosh she's normal!

Fuck you bitch!

I know what you're up to!

They're so sweeeet!

Awwwww, they're all so nice!

Yeah Lucas *Spitting noise*

Why don't you place a trap somewhere?

You fuckin asshole

(Matthew Mcconaughey voice) Alright alright alright!

This is so sad!

Is this the laundry room like-

I can't fucking tell.

This room still looks like shit

to be honest.

Heeey, it's-uh my favorite lighter.

Is this the laundry room?

Like where the fuck is the laundry room?

This seems like a laundry fucking dump hole

plus I can't fuckin see without the flashlight

so that's great.

Wait am I-oh I AM actually

supposed to be here,

ok, alright,

What a fucking weird way to go to the laundry room

maybe we can go, just,

what is this?

oh it's a table *laughs*

I didn't see it, I'm sorry,

Yeah suppose we could of just fucking walked

Alright here we go,

How's she doing? Lucas, you playing Flappy Bird?

You instagramming the carpet?

What are you doing? I wanna see what he's doing,

He's on Facebook isn't he?

You catching up on that latest poodiepie video?

Alright dude, hell yeah!

Oh my god Mum! Gee!

The place still looks pretty creepy I would say.

But she must of had us for a loooong time.

Oh my god is this the bathroom?

This is so weird to navigate!

Oh my god...

If she became a Grandma,

There must have been a while.

Where the fuck is her bedroom?

It must be- Oh yeah it's this one!

Remember this kids room,

Hey! He's wearing Nazi glasses!

Aaahh, *siren noises*

Nazi glasses!

Here you go here's some clothes

oooh God...

Aw hell no! Fuck that bitch!

No!

NOOOO!

Gimme back my famiry!

God damn, piece of shit girl!

Aw hell no!

Hey Daddy!

Is that Matthew Mcconaughey?

This is cool!

You get a little backstory man!

Awwwwww Fuck that girl.

This is why,

I keep telling you guys we need to send off

All little girls and boys

All babies need to just to go another planet.

We need to send them to another planet,

Where they can fight like the Hunger Games.

I've said it a million times.

Ok so the Dad is at the boathouse, how do we get there?

Maybe we can exit through the garage?

DADDY?

This seems safe!

Nope, ok, damn that car!

It's fucking huge!

Daddy loves this car, he'd be furious

If I drove it. What can I say?

The boat house?

Where the fuck is the boat house?

Wait I hear someone?

Mum?

Mum? Mum?

What'd I tell you about satanic shit?

Muuum!

STOP!

*Disgusted* Uggh... Ugh God...

uuggghAAAHHHH!

Fuck! How fast did that go!

Kill her!

Ugh God no!

Get some rope?!

Get some rope!?!

Ok!

Geez! She got fucked fast dude!

Ya know I'd still hit it though, honestly.

Hey don't judge! I'm into centipede shit.

Oh my God I can still hear them...

Jack is DEFINITELY into it.

-I mean what the hell is going on?!

Hey! I found rope Daddy!

Daddy needs the rope!

Coming Daddy! Lets, lets hang around the rope.

Zoe does NOT run, this is as fast as she goes,

by the way. What the fuck...

Stop-Oh my God is he drowning her?!

Ugh hell yeah!

Am I disturbing something?

Oh no... He's losing it too...

Oh Fuck he's losing it too.

Oo my God!

Daddy!

But I have rope? AHHH!

Oh my God! Stop! You're so bald!

Jesus!

Oh, heya...

Aaaah my, Oh God...

Nope!

Oh shit I died? What? How? Howw?

Don't you wanna play with your new sister?

Ooooo, hell no.

Hell no,

Ok, he can't go in now.

Got em!

Fuck I gotta find a way out, oh God,

This is scary!

Eh what about the garbage? Oh great.

Get away get away get away now!

Ok, there's this room.

Fuck! Dis bad.

A fork! What do I do with a fuckin' fork?

Is he in?

Fuck, he's in.

WHAT DO I DO WITH A FUCKING FORK?

*Daddy breaking through door sound*

*Pewds whimpers*

HEY DADDY.

AHH

Oh my god, it's so fucking creepy!

Fuck...

Damn Daniel.

Sorry.

There must be a way outta here.

Oh my god there it is!

Hey~

Nice abs dude.

*Immitating Zoe* Stop it~!

Yes!

Fuck. I don't think-

Okay, okay, another one.

Come on fork!!

HURRY UP FORK.

LOVE YOU FORK.

COME ON BOY~

Aw jeez! Okay.

We're going.

Fuck- Wrong way.

Okay, we're going.

So, Zoe managed to escape in the story I guess.

Well, spoilers, not really.

What have we got here?

Watch out for those nails, Zoe!

Oh my!

Oh-

Oh wow.

Uhh-

Second thought,

I think I will not.

Wait, what have we got here?

Oh we can go up past here!

Okay, that's cool.

What have we got?

Daddy's toolbox.

Ehhgh-

Okay, so, apperantly,

I missed something in the beginning of the DLC

where you have to look around a little bit before you proceed,

otherwise you don't get the right ending.

So let's try and-

*BURPS*

-do that.

You're supposed to see a password on his phone.

Nice pants, Lucas. Damn.

JACK: TOP O' THE MORNIN' TO YA LADDIES,

MY NAME IS JACKSEPTICE-

Hey, a lock-pick!

How about that.

Damn, I never realised the ass on uh...

Mommy.

Hell yeah.

Damn.

She thicc as fuck, dawg.

Alright, let's not walk the fucking stupid route this time.

Why is my frame-rate so fucking low when I'm playing this?

It's so choppy.

More like, uh-

Fuck naw, Daddy. She's a fucking demon.

Okay, so-

There's a hole in the trophy, right?

So there was a thing...

Oh my god, it's crocodile!

Where the fuck do I...?

There it is.

Perfect.

Alright, what do we got?

Please be a bingo lot. (I think that's what he said)

Damn it!

*Funny voice* It's a smawl compowneynt.

*Normal voice* That's fine.

That's fine! We can do this.

Together~

*Sings* We can do it together~

Singing a new song now~

*Speaks* Alright, you don't want to sing? That's-

That's fine, alright?

I don't care.

Pfft- Whatever.

*Mumbled, unintelligible singing*

HEEEY.

Come down to papa, boi.

You can suck a- Fuck-

Oh god.

She looks so creepy over there.

YOU KNOW, I HOPE YOU DIE!

Fake-ass granny.

Now-uh, apparently this is like

Lucas' old room, right? so

Lucas uh, you know, wanking station

must be here

uh.. okay

and the code was.. on his phone

hHeyy

whathe- is he making drugs here? wtf is this?

he was into explosives and stuff

aww das kinda cool

that motherfucker

Fuck you list: the old man slapped me

right in the face for checking my phone

during dinner

FUcK you

I can't say one word about mama's cooking?

without getting without getting yelled at? Fuck you!

All i did was look at Zoe when she was

doing yoga, and she calls me a perver *breath laughs*

fFFuCK yOu

The old man got drunk and started throwing all my

all my crap in that red box out on the veranda.

fcuk you

oh that's the red box

oohh ok

tricky trickyyy

alright so now I think we can start the actual fuckin

process of this fuckin bitch or whatever..

*pewds is v concentrated*

alright so now we should be able to open-

YESS

heyy its a

oh it's a dog

dog head

is it all of them?

ok we need one- it's ok

it's alright

so- it worked, great. fantastic.

excellent. we're doing great. now we just have to

make sure that we don't die

are u with me?

dats right

hell yeah motherfucker

oh god, here we go

dadDy~?

i hope it's not his penis x2

ggreat.. how the fuck do we get outta here?