Thanks for joining me today.

I know a lot of you traveled further than others to get to your TV.

Some of you came from your bedroom.

Some came from the kitchen.

Some came from outside because you walk to the end of the driveway to get male.

Possibly.

Either way, I appreciate all of you watching.

I'm, uh I'm still doing my show.

And, uh, I appreciate that.

I get to still do my show.

I know it can be tough to work from home.

For starters, it's not nearly as fun of stealing office supplies from your house than when you're, you know.

Yeah.

Thank you, Annie.

You're welcome.

Uh, I know a lot of that.

It's just trying to make me feel better, cause they weren't that funny to laugh out loud.

So I think it's funny not to make you feel better exploded.

And I think your delivery is what really puts a purchase.

It okay?

All right.

Thanks.

All right.

Well, here's the thing.

If there's a silver lining at all, hopefully issued.

Get to spend some extra time with your family.

I was face timing with my nieces.

I would say two of my favorite nieces, but there were only two.

I have, um but I love him so much.

What's her name?

And then the little sister, the other one.

And they told me that they miss school and they missed their friends.

They missed their teachers.

They miss learning.

And I bet a 1,000,000 kids are at home right now that feel exactly like them.

These these young minds or thirsty.

And I'm about to.

So come with my smart juice is what I'm gonna dio that it was funny, because I know what?

Yep.

My smart shoes, uh, give the kids some real practical information, because that's what they need.

Things that they can use in the real world.

It's a segment.

It's Cece assistant segment.

Like when I'm a deejay.

Sometimes when I am Cest assistance a second, it's a segment.

I'm calling Ellen's homeschool corner.

Thanks, Andy.

Hi, kids.

Okay, Miss Ellen, you can call me Miss Ellen.

Let's go ahead and take a the roll call here.

Uh, Johnny Abraham, Not here.

Jenny.

Albertson.

You know, I realized that you can't.

Well, I can't hear you.

You maybe you can hear me.

I'm gonna assume that everybody is here.

Our first subject.

Glad Maddox is there.

Listening.

Our first subject is English.

Now.

A lot of kids know how to speak it.

But you don't know the meaning behind the words in the real world.

A lot of a lot of times, yes.

And a lot of times people say one thing, but they mean something else.

For instance, let's say you you invite a friend to a birthday party, Maddox, And then the day before the party, you say, Are you coming to my birthday party?

And then they say, Maybe now you're thinking that maybe they're gonna show up because they said maybe.

But when they say maybe what they really mean is No, no kids, write this down.

Maybe means no.

All right, let's move on.

P E now in your school, P E stands for physical education, but in Ellen's homeschool corner, P E stands for pie eating.

I'll be right back.

It's kind to eat some pie.

Do we have pie eating music?

Got a good pipe?

I want no more left.

I don't have any raspberry seeds, my teeth.

But do I?

Anyway, what's great is that you can actually get some exercise when you go to the kitchen, because when you get the fork, you put it on the plate that works.

Thea the these muscles and then the jaw gets the exercise as you chew.

So the pie eating is physical education.

So the P and P is ah PP Yeah, okay, it's time for math.

A lot of you parents out there complaining because they have to teach math.

There's a new math.

Did you know this and, er you you wear That's my kids do this new map and so I can help him with it because I don't get it right.

Why do we have new mass schools?

Think it's better cause it has the word new in it.

It's not better.

Years ago, Coca Cola came out with new Coke, was terrible.

People hated it.

They got rid of it.

So I'm getting rid of new math and replacing it with street smarts.

All right, this is Coors Light, all right.

Course.

Like is what that they have for homeschool right here is like you see this?

Could this Coors light Here's another course light.

What should I drink?

See the mountains on this one white the mountains on this one.

Blue homeschoolers.

Get this.

The mountains turned blue in the refrigerator When the beer is cold enough to drink.

Can you believe that Her?

Yes.

Wow.

I know you don't drink, so it doesn't apply to you, but these are very, very smart beer people.

Look at that.

Not cold enough to drink cold enough to drink, cause what's in the mountains turn blue.

Lesson here is Don't think about one.

Plus one is to think about one beer plus one fridge equals 5 p.m. Finally, I thought I'd end my lesson today with arts and crafts.

I am gonna teach, You know, kids, you're gonna love this.

I'm gonna teach you how toe make a paper bag puppet.

Okay, all you need, it's so easy.

You just get a paper bag like this, okay?

You lay it down with the flat part, like, up like that.

And then on the flat part, you do some Cem eyes.

Okay?

We just draw the googly eyes like that.

Um, you could put googly eyes on, but I don't have him because I don't have Children.

That's why I can have heavy things on my table, but nobody's gonna throw through a window.

All right, So the eyes go right there, Okay?

And then we could do Ah, mouth now if you had glue or macaroni or any kind of things like that.

But I'm not gonna waste food on this, But you could You could put the glue and the macaroni and do the eyes like that, and then the mouth, um, I'm gonna do a tongue just to kind of okay.

And then construction paper would help.

And also, Yorn would help for eyes.

I don't have any of that stuff, but, um, I'm disappointed in myself, So really, the way you should start, Forget what I just did.

You should have scissors and glue and macaroni on and and yarn.

But look at this.

This is good to go.

Okay, kids, I can't get a good Yeah, it's really good.

Okay, That was very, very good.

Michelle in.

Thank you, Carol.

Thank you so much.

Oh, you're a good teacher.

Your mouth move.

Are you doing?

You know my mouth is not moving at all.

Oh, yeah, Yeah.

I hope you learned a valuable lesson today.