A new coffee shop just opened

in Seattle called DreamBoyz Espresso,

where all the baristas are buff, shirtless guys.

[ Cheers and applause ]

Best part is you can order your coffee tall, grande,

or Magic Mike XXL. It's great.

-Oh, oh, Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy.

[ Cheers and applause ]

-Colin, Michael Che.

-Jimmy. -What's up?

-Jimmy. -What's going on?

-A coffee shop with shirtless baristas

and that's the best you got, really?

-Tell him, Che.

[ Laughter ]

-Jost, Che, what?

You guys you think you can do better than that?

-Oh, we know we can. Probably.

-Well, you know what that means?

It is time for a good old-fashioned

"Tonight Show" joke-off.

[ Cheers and applause ]

I think we all know the rules.

One more time, a new coffee shop just opened in Seattle

called DreamBoyz Espresso,

where all the baristas are buff, shirtless guys.

And go.

-Beep, beep, beep.

It's 3 bucks for a coffee

and 50 bucks for them to grind your bean.

-Alright, that's good, that's good.

Meep.

Shirtless baristas -- This is great news for everyone

who wishes the strip club played more Norah Jones.

Sorry. [ Laughter ]

-Beep, beep, beep! Trust me.

You don't want to see how they draw a heart in your foam.

[ Laughter ]

-Eh!

Every customer was like, "I'll take one cup of Joe-y."

-Beep.

-All the baristas are buff, shirtless guys?

"I can't wait to check it out," said the health inspector.

[ Laughter ]

-Beep, beep, beep!

-Said Colin, "Please don't tell Scarlett you saw me here."

[ Laughter ]

-Eh!

The Wi-Fi password

is bow-chicka-wow-wow underscore 69.

-Beep!

But I don't recommend this place if you have a nut allergy.

-Oh! Stop, stop, stop, stop.

[ Cheers and applause ]

-Alright, alright, alright, alright.

-Kids are watching this.

-I'll give you that one. I'll give you that one.

Alright, here's the next story.

Several big alcohol companies

say they're working on developing drinkable marijuana.

And go.

-Oh, beep!

And somehow it still gives you cotton mouth.

-Beep, beep, beep.

Of course, all marijuana is drinkable

when the cops pull you over.

-Eh!

Meanwhile, Natural Ice said

they're still trying to develop drinkable beer.

-Beep, beep!

They even got a catchy name for it -- Snoop Dogg's Urine.

[ Laughter ]

-Beep, beep, beep.

If you want to know what drinkable marijuana tastes like,

just take a sip out of Che's mug right now.

-Yes. [ Cheers and applause ]

I'll give him that one.

-It's for my glaucoma.

-Oh, you have glaucoma?

-Glaucoma, yeah, yeah, yeah. Helps him read, yeah.

-Alright, Jost, you got that one.

Alright, last story here.

Iggy Azalea says her upcoming shows will have a twerk pit.

Go.

-Beep, beep.

As in "I entered the twerk pit and nine months later,

you were born."

-Beep, beep, beep!

That's insane. Iggy Azalea has upcoming shows?

[ Laughter, audience groans ]

-Wow.

-Alright, well, it's a twerk pit, twerk pit, alright.

Eh! Fans were like, "Of course, the person with the tallest ass

is right in front of me."

-Beep, beep!

A twerk pit sounds cool, but I bet it smells terrible.

[ Laughter ]

-Beep, beep, beep.

Okay, sure, right.

But when I started twerk pit, I'm banned from Chuck E' Cheese.

-Yeah.

Eh!

So, if you hear people clapping, that's not hands.

There you are, everybody!

-Colin Jost, Michael Che, everybody!

Thank you, guys.