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  • I have a tendency to not speak up in conversations when I feel uncomfortable.

  • Like, sometimes I'll be talking to someone and they'll say something that's just a little... off.

  • "Oh my god, you know what I wish we could do?

  • I wish we could just kill off all the homeless people."

  • "Right? Like that would be the best solution for them. It's like, they don't have homes. Nobody's gonna miss them!"

  • Or inappropriate.

  • "It's just like so hard being a straight white dude these days, man. You're so lucky you're a minority.

  • Like, you'd stand out."

  • Or sometimes, just pretty stupid.

  • "I don't want to break up, I just want to

  • like move out, but like we can still go

  • on dates, it's just that like, I don't want to have to

  • devote every night to you. It's basically like,

  • like I want my cake, and I want to eat it too,

  • and then I want to take a piece home and then

  • put it in the freezer for later so I can bust it out and put like

  • chocolate fudge and strawberries and some skittles on there, and then

  • have it with a glass of wine while I like

  • binge a new series." But lately, I feel like I have

  • no fucks left at all, like normally when you

  • have a fuck to give, you distribute that.

  • Right? Like you care about what people

  • think, and you try to act accordingly.

  • I think I'm all out. Exhibit A, the other day, at a bar,

  • this guy said, "Oh, excuse me doll."

  • Without even missing a beat, I immediately responded:

  • "Oh, no worries doll."

  • Yeah, normally, would never do that.

  • I didn't even think about it, I didn't even

  • blink. Exhibit B, at lunch,

  • my friend said, "Dude, I fucking hate that

  • bitch." Oh no. Normally, I would let

  • that pass because it's awkward, I don't want to address it.

  • But since I have no fucks left...

  • "Dude, you are so harsh on women."

  • "Yeah, well whatever. She cheated on me."

  • "So? You cheated on her too!

  • And it was like four years ago!"

  • Let it go, man.

  • And don't get me wrong, I'm not

  • saying that I just want to like speak my mind

  • with no filter whatsoever. I think that

  • my default is trying to be "nice" to avoid

  • awkwardness, and instead I want to focus

  • on being kind. Whether I'm being kind to

  • myself for voicing my opinion when I

  • think this conversation is weird, or kind

  • to the other person because maybe they legit

  • don't realize how weird it is for

  • them to suggest that we kill all

  • homeless people.

  • This isn't the Hunger Games. Why are you

  • suggesting mass murder of a bunch of

  • people who are probably the majority of them

  • are mentally ill or

  • have substance abuse problems. And I encourage you

  • to ask yourself, like what would you say

  • if you weren't afraid of rocking the

  • boat, and instead committed to actually

  • voicing the opinions that you have in a

  • conversation. Or maybe you're a person who is

  • never afraid to say anything at all. Maybe

  • that gets you into trouble. Let me know.

  • I'm Anna Akana, stay awesome Gotham.

  • I just want to say, thank you so much to Squarespace

  • for like sponsoring today's episode. It's not like I

  • don't like you anymore,

  • it's just that like with Squarespace,

  • they have all these beautiful and like award

  • winning templates on their all-in-one

  • platform, which means I never have to like

  • install, patch or upgrade like ever.

  • Plus it's like you're not really emotionally

  • available, but if I send Squarespace a text

  • at 3 am and I'm like, "Hey baby, are you up?" They're like, "Yes,

  • we are." Because their customer service is 24/7.

  • Like wow. Not to mention if I like

  • need a new domain name or something, they give

  • me like a really unique and like simple setup

  • experience, which is like really nice of

  • them. So if I like want to make a website for

  • like my modeling career, or if I want to

  • make a website for my photographing career.

  • I can do like either of those all on

  • Squarespace. So, I mean. I'm gonna go get a free

  • trial with them at squarespace.com and use

  • the offer code "Anna" for 10%

  • off. But like I still really love you, but

  • I think it's better if we just both go to

  • Squarespace and use the offer code Anna

  • for 10% off for first purchases.

  • I still want to be friends, though.

I have a tendency to not speak up in conversations when I feel uncomfortable.

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