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  • Welcome to the hall of Squidward's Alter Egos.

  • Where we celebrate every quirky character of our favorite cephalopod.

  • Let's start our tourhere.

  • [crying]

  • Go away! We're mourning!

  • [crying]

  • It's me, Squidward. I'm looking for SpongeBob.

  • Hi.

  • How are ya?

  • [screaming]

  • SpongeBob, you're back to your square shape!

  • Wow! I guess Squidward's normal look scared me back to my original form.

  • - Thanks Buddy. You saved my life. - Wonderful weather we're having, hmm?

  • It sure is, buddy. It sure is.

  • [laughing]

  • Psst! Squidward! Hey, Squidward!

  • SpongeBob!

  • Ahem! Why do you stop playing, Wolfgang Amadeus Tentacles?

  • Yes, Your Highness.

  • [whispering]

  • [laughing]

  • SpongeBob!

  • Hey! I have not instructed you to stop! Now play!

  • Do tell me the one about the man from Peru again.

  • Sponge...

  • Bob?

  • Hey, wha... what are you doing?

  • Being evil. Isn't that what you wanted? Aren't you scared? Boo-hoo?

  • Boo-hoo? Do you expect us to cry?

  • No, Mr. Bob. I expect you to fry!

  • [laughing]

  • Eh, okay, Squidward. Playtime's over. This is getting a little intense here.

  • Too long have I suffered living between you two ninnies! But now, now as

  • Doctor Negative, I shall finally exact my exquisite revenge!

  • [laughing]

  • See? I just knew he'd make a terrific bad guy. He is really committing.

  • You did a great job with casting.

  • What is that porous terror up to now?

  • Oh no, he's expecting a big family that speaks German!

  • Uh, German, hello?

  • Ach! Guten Morgen! Mein Name ist SpongeBob!

  • Say what?

  • Guten Morgen! Mein Name ist SpongeBob!

  • [speaking foreign language]

  • Uh, please, vould you speaken-zee English, I need za bractize!

  • Huh? Oh, yeah, I mean, sure, good morning! My name is SpongeBob, what is your name?

  • Umm... Gerhard.

  • Well, hello, Gerhard, I used to live here. Just stopped by to visit my old home.

  • Ach, meine Neptune, uh, now is nein such a good time mit the wife and zuch!

  • - Wife? Where is she? - Hey, SpongeBob.

  • She's shy... well, I must be going! Mein wifen calling me for zupper!

  • She is a fine Gutenchef of Fudenschlop!

  • Why not stop playing it if it hurts so bad?

  • We can't stop...

  • [panting]

  • Until we break our tie.

  • Says who?

  • It's the rule giver.

  • I ain't never heard of a rule giver.

  • I prefer "King of Sports," but you can never tell what will catch on

  • with the small folk.

  • You're making up a game where SpongeBob and Patrick hurt themselves,

  • and you won't let them stop?!

  • I'm just giving the people what they want.

  • That's pretty low, Squidward, even for you. I'm putting a stop to this.

  • SpongeBob and Patrick have had enough!

  • Ow!

  • See? They're fine. Let the games resume.

  • Come on, SpongeBob. Take the door and smash my face back!

  • I can't! It was one thing doing it by accident, but I can't hurt you on purpose.

  • You better hurt me or I'm really gonna hurt you!

  • Well, okay...

  • Now don't hold back, SpongeBob. Just really let me have it.

  • Just remember, Squidward, this is going to hurt me more than it's going to hurt you.

  • Uhh... okay, just let me just memori...

  • Ow! Hey, I wasn't ready!

  • Would you mind waiting 'til I...

  • Hang on, you're starting to look like your old self again.

  • Nope. Still too handsome.

  • It's still not working. Maybe I'm not doing it hard enough.

  • Spo... hang on a sec...

  • Let me...

  • uhhhh...

  • Eeee! Squidward, you're even more handsome now!

  • Wow! The Mermalair!

  • These costumes belonged to the original International Justice League

  • of Super Acquaintances!

  • Wow! The I.J.L.S.A. were the most heroic heroes ever!

  • And you had the best lunch box, too.

  • Once you put on these costumes, their fantastic powers will become yours!

  • Wow! I didn't think super powers worked that way.

  • Sure! Power's all in the costume!

  • Why else would we run around in colored undies?

  • I can think of three good reasons.

  • The Quicksterwith the uncanny ability to run reallyquick!

  • Want to see me run to that mountain and back? You want to see me do it again?

  • Captain Magma...get him angry and he's bound to erupt!

  • Krakatoa!

  • [sizzling]

  • The Elastic Waistband...able to stretch his body into fantastic shapes and forms!

  • I can finally touch my toes!

  • And Miss Appear...now you see her... now you don't.

  • Does this outfit make me look fat?

  • The International Justice League of Super Acquaintances! A subsidiary of Viacom.

Welcome to the hall of Squidward's Alter Egos.

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