These kids are buggin out,

because once I would've seen the red sh*t…

I'm out.

Hi, I'm Alejandro.

Chris.

Taylor.

Kaley.

Andy.

And I've never seen

never seen

never seen 'Jaws.'

'Jaws' is about people, they're on a beach

there's a lot of taco meat, lot of chest hair.

A big ass shark...

I don't know if it's mutated or like...

possessed.

Jaws goes like that or whatever…

He has massive... jaws!

Yeah, I think it's just about people dying.

I'm ready to swim, Jim!

(Offscreen) I'm totally messing with you. That's not in it.

I know you've got a lot of problems downtown, but…

Oh, this is an old movie.

Everyone's tan. Where is this, the Jersey Shore?

Also, this man's face is far too close to the camera.

Ah, sh*t… Awwww...

Tricked me. Thought she got eaten.

These young kids horsin' around!

This is like the little boy who cried wolf.

It's really going to happen this time.

Oh, is that the shark?

Ok, here's the classic music.

Ok, we're seeing the shark's POV. We're seeing legs…

They look delicious to the shark.

Uh-oh!

There's someone swimming…

♪ (singing Jaws Theme) ♪

Is that it?

Oh shit, he really bit her.

That's a lot of blood.

Blood! Blood everywhere.

There's blood everywhere!

Is that really how shark attacks happen?

That definitely like doesn't happen, just 'blurb.'

No one is noticing this?!?

Yeah, these kids are buggin out,

because once I would've seen the red sh*t…

I'm out.

Shark's have 300 teeth. You only have 34.

They're not going very fast.

They're kind of like, 'Oh no….'

Ah, shit! She can't find her kid.

Where's Jimmy?

That is sad.

Ewwww.

Oh my god, no! This is worse than the shark!

Go on, stop it!

That's not how you get people's attention.

I'll catch this bird for you, but it ain't going to be easy.

I can't understand him.

Sounds Australian? British possibly?

Seeking… tenderizing…

He doesn't have good manners.

He's talking with his mouth full.

I don't trust him.

That man was born on a boat.

You can just tell.

I thought the same thing I thought when the movie began…

He ain't sh*t

Come on down and chum some of this sh*t!

Huh!

Holy shit!

The guy on the boat literally just stood up and did nothing.

What?

No one has a reaction when the shark comes up! I don't understand.

You're going to need a bigger boat.

Ah, you guys are going to need a lot more than a bigger boat.

You're going to need a better captain, because you're a wimp.

They're looking kinda nervous.

I bet you he's going to be the first one to die.

The shark's getting closer.

There she is. Is there only one shark?

Like it's 'the' shark?

We'll call her Bessie.

Literally went like 'blaaaaow!' Destroyed it.

It's a pretty good shark. I believe it.

She's sinking you guys.

Right here… trying not to get…Oh, nope.

Somebody help him, somebody help him…

He's kicking him with his…Really? Oh!

Ewp.

Not coming back from that...

Uh-uh, uh-uh…

Ewww.

He's half in the mouth. Just writhing around.

No music going on. Just like 'aaaaahhhh.'

Doesn't all the extra shit that the shark is eating

mess up the taste of the humans?

No one has peeped a word.

I think his friend probably should have helped him.

You're right! He could have at least threw something at him.

Like, 'Stop!'

It's seem as though that you don't die

on the first bite.

He almost just like slid into the mouth very slowly.

He was literally just like, 'Oh no…'

Yeah, I mean my heart is kinda beating.

I think this plot doesn't make any sense.

I felt no emotion.

I feel like everyone was just kind of like…

I still don't get it!

I don't think a shark is like on a mission

to attack a certain group of people.

People of America!

If you don't want big sharks like that,

recycle,

don't put plastics in the ocean,

don't put antibiotics in the ocean.

This is what happened.

That's what 'Jaws' is about.

Alright, we got this.

You're going to need a bigger boat.