- SpongeBob, please stop crying. - I can't stop crying!

I made this one with my tears.

April fools! You little sausage!

[laughing]

[crying]

More ice cream for me!

Oh ooh! Can I borrow five bucks?

Here! Take your dirty, rotten, money! I don't even know you anymore!

[crying]

Meow.

[crying]

Meow.

- It's okay, son. - No, it's not okay!

I lost the boots, your valuable boots! It's my fault. I let you down.

Oh! I'm sorry, I'm sorry! Oh sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry!

Patrick, where is it? Where is it? Dear Neptune!

You didn't put it in your pocket did you?

It's getting all backed up! Backed up!

[crying]

Sheesh! Don't get your pants up in a square knot, SpongeBob.

SpongeBob! You forgot to tell me you were leaving!

Well Patrick, I guess this is…

[crying]

[screaming]

But Mr. Krabs, I don't wanna work for him!

I wanna work for you here at the Krusty Krab!

[crying]

I'm sorry, boy!

[crying]

It's all my fault!

[crying]

I don't wanna grow up! I want cookies! And milky!

I want a sweater with love in the stitches!

I wanna wear dities! I wanna ride in my wagon!

I wanna cuddle wuddle with Mr. Stuffykins!

I wanna rocky rocky my seahorsey!

And I want kissy kissy on my boo boo!

[crying]

[crying]

Take it easy, SpongeBob!

SpongeBob! SpongeBob!

[crying]

[laughing]

My diary! Squidward! How could you?

[crying]

[clucking]

[crying]

Ha.

[humming]

[crying]

Idiot boy!

I guess that's it then. If Mr. Krabs is calling me idiot boy, it must be true!

I know what must be done.

[crying]

We're all alone, Patrick. No light. No shelter!

[crying]

Huh? Look, SpongeBob! There's a really big light.

I'll go get buddy.

Ow!

I stubbed my toe!

[crying]

I stubbed my toe!

- SpongeBob, you're fired! - Huh?

Fire…

- Eh? - SpongeBob?

[whimpering]

[crying]

Wait! Mr. Krabs, it's not his fault. It's mine!

He tried to tell me but I wouldn't listen.

[crying]

- Give him another chance, please! - Hmmm.

[crying]

Alright, me boy! I'll give you a second chance!

This may be the last patty you'll ever cook.

I'll do my best, Sir.

[crying]

[crying]

[whimpering]

- Mr. Krabs? - What's wrong, boy?

I lost my laugh.

[crying]

I think I found the one thing I hate more than his laugh.

I'm sure he'll cry himself out soon.

[crying]

What have I done?

[crying]

I guess we'll have to live here in the library forever, Gary.

Meow.

[crying]

[crying]

Hey there, SpongeBob. Why all the waterworks?

I was so busy helping everyone that I missed Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy

and my VCR didn't record it and now I'll never see it and my life has no meaning!

Oh Gary, why did you have to go? Why Gary?

Why? Why? Why? Why? Why?

Meow.

- Ah! Gary? - Hey, SpongeBob.

- Oh, hello Patrick. - Meow.

Hello, Gary.

- Could we borrow some soap? - Soap? But, we used to use soap.

- Do you want Fresh Scent or Heavy Du… - Here it comes.

Du, du, du…

[crying]

Gary! Please come back, Gary! Please come home!

I'm a wreck without you!

[crying]

Now he's crying away me mustard! That's enough, boy!

Drop it! Eh?

[mumbling]

You're crying the perfect amount!

It's time we went our separate ways. Such is life.

- But Patrick, you're my best friend! - I know it's hard, but brace up, chap.

Yeah.

Maybe our paths will cross again someday. Think fondly of me, Mr. SquarePants.

Goodbye.

Mr. Best Friend!

[crying]

- Patrick? - Well Pat, the new you gets an A+.

Why thank you, Sandra. I find your intellect rather stimulating as well.

Oh, really? Wow! Thanks.

Oh, that was my favorite shirt!

[crying]

Now, I don't mean to nag, so don't bridle when say this.

But your dream horse is more like a nightmare! Ha! Get it night mare?

[crying]

Oh yeah! Now you're feeling your oats! Ha ha! So good.

Sponge. It's okay. Sponge?

[gasping]

[crying]

Sponge?

[crying]

- There, there, SpongeBob. No need to cry. - Yes there is, Patrick.

- Sandy's been gone for two whole days. - Two whole days?

[crying]

Oh, why'd she have to go to that science convention in Tejas?

Tejas!

[crying]

She won't be back for 1 more hour, 26 minutes and 47 seconds!

Oh, 47 seconds!

[crying]

Can you move in a little? Say Santa Claus!

Santa Claus.

You were right, Squidward. This is a stupid holiday!

[crying]

- I still want you to have this. - What? What's this?

A present. I made it for you so you wouldn't feel left out when… Santa came!

[crying]

- Oh gee, I… You know I… I don't… - You're welcome.

I guess I won't be needing this. Ohh.

That's better.

[crying]

SpongeBob. SpongeBob, what's wrong?

[sniffling]

I can't do this, Patrick! I've tried and I've tried,

but I'm not always as confident as I look! Maybe I better just go back and hide.

Bad.

[screaming]

[screaming]

[crying]

[crying]

[crying]

[crying]

[crying]

Mmm hmm. Mmm hmm. Go on.

[crying]

I'm sorry. Oh, what have I done?

What have I done?

[crying]

All that glitters is not gold.

[crying]

Goodbye best friend.

[crying]

[crying]

I'll never find another spatula like him again.

Oh no, no! It looks like you have things under control!

Please, Patrick! I don't wanna go home early!

[crying]

Okay, but we play by my rules, SquareBob!

I am so sorry, Squidward.

I've transformed you into a delicious dairy desert and I can't change you back!

There, there, Squidward. There is no need to cry.

You have ruined my faith in the magical arts!

[crying]

Security!

[crying]

- What are we gonna do about Squidward? - We could always eat him.

Oh! Please! Come over for a visit, Squidward!

It's been so long! I can't even remember your last visit!

That's probably because I've never visited you!

Please! Please! Please!

Please! Please!

Please! Please! Please! Please! Please!

Please! Please! Please! Please!

Please!

Okay, Squidward. Maybe some other time.

[screaming]

Not that gun, stop it!

[crying]

- It was nice knowing ya, pal. - I know. I'm an interesting guy.

[crying]

Quack.

Ah! Whoo!

The fork!

[whimpering]

Wah! That stupid toy!

I wasted my whole life waiting for it!

Actually, you've only been here 20 minute…

I've been mean to Gary and I flipped Sandy!

And now you hate me 'cause I'm a big jerk!

[crying]

- No, I don't. - Yes, you do.

- SpongeBob SquarePants? - Could you come back later?

He's having a moment.

[mumbling]

[crying]

It just isn't fair!

[crying]

SpongeBob, will you stop crying?!

Well, the Krabby Patty fell on the floor and...

Krabby Patty nothing!

Krabby Patty, nothing!

[moaning]

What now?

You yelled at me! Yelled at me!

I can't do anything without this stupid ringer getting in the way!

Patrick, I am nothing more than a bike rack.

A sad... sad... sad... sad little bike rack!

[crying]

Hey! Don't you go crying on me! Crying never solves anything!

[crying]

That SpongeBob is such a crybaby! And lucky me, I get to work with him all day.

[crying]

It looks like you won.

[crying]

Wow! What a great show!

Well, at least we're still together, little ones.