- Hey! - Hey!

- Hey!

- Some of us are trying to identify Wakandan butterflies.

Would you stop yelling 'hey'.

- Hm, our oblong friend makes a good point.

Our message is simple and at this point

we've communicated it adequately.

- Yeah, maybe it's time we stopped

yelling 'hey' at each other.

- Thank you.

- And started yelling 'hey' at that huge bald guy

that just appeared over there.

- Hey!

- Wait, is that?

(screaming)

- What a scaredy pear.

Mr. Purple Mcbuff Butts seems nice to me.

- What's your name Mr. Purple Mcnurplestein?

- My name is Thanos. Perhaps you've heard of me?

- Hm, not ringing a bell.

- But I am.

(laughing)

(gong ringing)

- So let me get this straight,

you have no idea who I am or what I'm here for.

- Hm, what'd you say your name was again? Fanos?

- Thanos.

- Hummus?

- Thanos.

- Famous Amos?

- Than-os.

- John Stamos?

- I said, it's Thanos.

- Oh, Thanos. Yeah, never heard of ya.

(laughing)

- Ugh. From the Avengers movies?

- Ooh! Are you Hawkeye?

- Of course I'm not Hawkeye.

For one thing I look nothing like him.

- Well I don't know what he looks like.

I always fall asleep during his parts.

- I am far more powerful than Hawkeye.

I'm on an entirely different plane.

- Oh no, did you catch the wrong flight?

(laughing)

- Silence or I will destroy you both.

- Anything you say Hawkeye.

(groaning)

- I assume you must be this Annoying Orange

I've heard so much about.

- If I'm the Annoying Orange, what does that make you?

The Buff Purple? (laughing)

- I wasn't talking about the color.

Although, now that we're on the topic, I'm looking for this.

The yellow Mind Stone.

- Oh yeah, I've seen a bunch of those.

- No you haven't.

There's only one like it in the entire universe.

- Really? Why'd they call it the Infinity Stone

if there's only one?

- Um, I suppose I don't really know.

Wait, stop distracting me. None of this matters,

half the universe is about to be destroyed.

- Wow, that's dark.

- Yeah, Purpler Mcpeopleeater.

You should be more optimistic.

- What can I say. I'm more of a universe half empty

type of guy. (laughing)

- I don't get it.

- Fun isn't something one considers

when balancing the universe as all things should be.

But I admit that was a joke.

- Was it?

- Yes, because I'm trying to snap half of

all intelligent life in the universe into dust.

- Oh! I think I get it now.

Half, like how your face is halve chin and halve forehead.

(laughing)

- Did you just dis Thanos?

- Hey Purpy Mcnurpy, what's your favorite drink?

Is it half and half?

- Or is it Snapple. (laughing)

- Ugh. I've heard better quips in Avengers Age of Ultron.

- Oh, oh, is your favorite app Snapchat?

(groaning)

- Ooh, what kind of car do you drive?

An Infinity? (laughing)

- Ugh, I don't have time for this nonsense.

The Space Stone tells me the stone I seek is here,

now give it to me.

- Why?

- So I can place it in my gauntlet.

- Oh, that's right. Forgot. Sorry Hawkeye.

- Stop comparing me to Hawkeye.

- Or what? You'll throw down the gauntlet? (laughing)

- Enough. (stone shattering) Give me the stone.

- Okay, okay let me see if I can wiggle it lose. (squeaking)

- You've been using the yellow Infinity Stone as a tooth?

- It was the only thing that they could find

that matched his tooth color.

- Give it to me now!

- Gladly! It's really hard to chew with this thing,

as a tooth it really bites. (laughing)

- Yeah, yeah, super funny. Whatever.

(spitting)

- Ah, long last I have all the

Infinity Stones in my possession.

I am inevitable, wait what? (squeaking)

- Wow, this thing is heavy I've got to hand it to ya.

(laughing)

- You give that back right now!

- Give what back?

- The Infinity Gauntlet.

- Oh, this Infinity Gauntlet?

- Yes!

- Oh, I don't know where it went.

Maybe it's hiding in a game of keep away.

- Hey, that's very important. Don't. Drop it. Stop it.

I'm telling you, I'm about to-

- Snap?

- Well yeah, you two are exhausting.

- No snap.

(squeaking) - Uh?

(explosion)

- I don't feel so good.

- Wow, this Infinity Gauntlet kicks ash. (laughing)

- Wait, Orange? Does this mean we are going

to turn into dust too?

- Nah, he said it only turned

intelligent life into dust remember?

- Oh yeah, we're A-okay fore sure.

(mouth noises)

(instrumental music)