a dangerous land where only the strong survive. 3

That's why I hired someone strong to guide me. 4

Kevin. Good to see you. 5

It's good to see you. 6

This is a vest that I wore in the '80s 7

in New York, in the club scene. 8

What do you think of my arms, 9

just before we go any further? 10

Muscles, you could do a bit more work. (laughs) 11

This is a southern tree funnel web. 12

Not just in trees. 13

They live also under rocks. 14

This thing can kill me? Absolutely. 15

Yes, within 20 minutes. 16

These are under rocks? 17

So what's the-- Yeah, yeah. 18

Just under rocks. 19

Stop just gesturing around like they're everywhere. 20

Are they really everywhere? 21

Yes. Why are we here? 22

Why did we come here? 23

Why didn't we just meet at the Four Seasons Hotel lobby? 24

We could have had iced teas, 25

and you could have shown me the same (bleep) book. 26

So this thing is under rocks? Yes. 27

So what's the number one tip. 28

Don't look under a rock. Don't pick up rocks? 29

Yeah. 30

I have a habit, I've had this for a long time, 31

and it's probably a bad habit of if I see a stone 32

and I want to know what's underneath, 33

I use my genitalia to flip it. 34

Is that something I shouldn't be doing here? 35

(laughs) Lucky you. 36

Yeah, it is lucky me. 37

Yes, it is. 38

I don't even have to move. 39

Could get that rock over there from right here. 40

It's a long penis joke. Yes, I got it. 41

Okay, next one is this fellow here. 42

Stinging ants, very dangerous. 43

[Conan] Wait, so you're saying this ant could kill me? 44

Yes, absolutely. 45

You could come down with full-blown anaphylactic shock. 46

In fact, my wife stood on a nest. 47

She turned white, her lips turned blue, 48

she crapped her pants, 49

and I had to take her to the hospital. 50

Does your wife mind that you put in the part 51

where she craps her pants? She doesn't know. 52

Okay, well just leave that part out. 53

(dramatic, upbeat music) 54

What is that? 55

That's a trapped little spider hole. 56

Sometimes you can get them to come out 57

if you just play around with the web. 58

That's good. 59

Taunting the deadly spider, 60

trying to get it to come out of its hole. 61

Is there any chance I'm gonna get to use this? 62

I'm sure we can find something to do with that. 63

Let's see yours. 64

(Kevin groans) 65

Now let's compare. 66

(Conan laughs mischievously) 67

That's not a knife. 68

This is a knife. 69

Trust me. 70

That got old in the states 20 years ago. 71

Mm-hmm. 72

(bell dings) 73

Oh wow, this is a wombat berry. 74

Now how many of these do I have to eat 75

to sustain myself, to stay alive? 76

Probably 500. 500? 77

So you thought this vest was a waste of time? 78

Look at that. 79

This is a pocket I used to keep cocaine in. 80

Now, wombat berries. 81

What a turn of events, eh? 82

[Kevin] This is a bunya nut. 83

Wait, these fall out of trees? 84

Yes. That's heavy. 85

That's why I'm looking up. 86

You've got to be very careful under the trees, 87

'cause some of these can weigh up to 10 kilograms. 88

So we could be killed at any moment. 89

Yes. So let's get out of here. 90

There's a wind blowing. 91

I don't wanna killed by a bunya nut. 92

Remember I was telling you about the tree funnel webs? 93

Well, this one will kill you as well. 94

[Conan] And you're poking it why? 95

I'm hoping to get it to come out 96

so you can have a look at it. 97

I'm good. 98

You can show me on the internet. 99

You must have a reputation with all the spiders. 100

You're like a Mormon at the door. 101

Ding dong, ding dong, it's Kevin with his stick. 102

Maidenhair fern. 103

You can make a cup of tea out of that one. 104

A cup of tea. A cup of tea. 105

Well, great job, Kevin. 106

We've been out here for four hours wandering around, 107

and so far we've got three wombat berries 108

and the makings of what looks 109

to be a third of a cup of tea. 110

This is what they give you in coach now on most airlines. 111

Hold it. 112

This branch is in my way. 113

There's another spider. 114

(audience laughs) 115

I think this is smilax leucophylla. 116

Common name is sarsaparilla tea. 117

You know what? 118

It's starting to add up. 119

I now have three berries and the makings 120

of two cups of different herbal teas, 121

basically the diet of a 98-year-old woman. 122

We've collected a little bit of food. 123

Now it's time to make a fire. 124

Yeah, fire. 125

Come on, baby! 126

I wanna have some of that herbal tea! 127

Come to mama. 128

Oh. 129

Oh, I see a little smoke! 130

We can throw it into that little bird's nest. 131

Where do we get that little bird's nest? 132

Oh yeah. 133

Let me explain to everyone. 134

We shaved my crotch about an hour ago. 135

We have fire. This is amazing. 136

Cavemen. So primal. 137

It's a good feeling. 138

That your first friction fire? 139

That is my first, well. 140

(Kevin laughs) Yes it is. 141

It's the first friction fire. 142

This is the bunya nut. 143

These fall from the trees. 144

How many nuts will fill you up? 145

Well. 146

It's a loaded question. 147

Whenever I hear the cameraman James laughing, 148

I know someone said something 149

that could be construed as dirty if you're a four year old. 150

I have an endless appetite for nuts. 151

There you go. Are you happy now, Kevin? 152

(Kevin laughs) 153

I just like to lean my head back 154

and just drop those nuts in. 155

As many as you can. 156

And I'm never satisfied till I have 157

hundreds of nuts in my mouth. 158

Big, meaty nuts. 159

You likin' this? Yeah. 160

I bet you are. 161

Doesn't matter to me. 162

Dip 'em in and dip 'em out. 163

Mm, nuts. 164

[Kevin] This one looks done, just before they turn black. 165

Right here? All that fleshy part. 166

No comment? 167

Maybe I'll go out and forage. 168

Hey, mate. Hey. 169

Look what I found! 170

I found a Jack Daniel's root. Wow. 171

Pulled it out of the ground. 172

It's all about resourcefulness out here. 173

Yes, sir. Don't panic. 174

Don't panic, all right? 175

You get lost, you don't panic. 176

Wander around, you'll find little bottles of liquor. 177

Nature provides.