Hey, floating egg!

Heyyy!

Wanna hear a yolk?

Hahaha!

Oh man, I CRACK myself up.

HAHAHA!

Hmm, not talkin' huh?

Don't worry,

I'll help you break outta your shell.

Hahaha!

(coos)

Wow!

Oh, baby!

(neo-classical music)

- Baby Yoda, don't touch that.

Don't touch that either.

Don't touch that eith--

(laughs)

Tell you what,

touch anything you'd like.

- Where do you think he came from?

And what is this thing he rides around in?

It's super weird.

- I know, right?

I figured a baby like him would drive a TOY-YODA.

Hahaha!

- Nah.

WHOA!

Hey there Baby Yoda,

how'd you get over here so quietly?

- I think Ewok-ed.

Hahaha!

- Fellas,

this baby alien is really messin' with my workout.

I can actually feel my gluteus maximus goin' minimus on me!

- Ugh.

I'm surrounded by terrible jokes on all sides.

- Eeeee!

So cute!

- What do we have here?

Hold that thought.

- Don't worry,

I haven't had a thought in years.

Hahaha!

- Hello ladies.

Into cute, adorable guys are we?

The name's Grapefruit.

I'm Aquarius, I'm available,

and I'm all yours if you like what you see.

- Cool.

Good to know.

Do you mind getting out of the way?

I wanna see his ears.

- They moved!

Ohhh!

- Pride.

Injured.

Must.

Keep it

together.

What does Baby Yoda got that I don't?

- Ears, for one thing.

(sniffing)

- Also de-YODA-rant.

Hahaha!

- Grr.

- Guys,

Baby Yoda's messing with the oven dials.

- Uh, which one of you is in charge of him?

- Well, lemme ask YOU a question.

What do you think of men who step up

and shoulder their fair share of childcare?

- Mmm, very hot.

- Then I am in charge of Baby Yoda.

Nice to meet you.

Grapefruit.

Sagittarius.

- Didn't you say you were an Aquarius earlier?

- I'll admit it.

I don't know anything about astrology.

I'm much better with numbers.

Maybe I could get yours?

- Ugh.

- Listen, Casanova.

Your kid is literally playing on a stove.

Why don't you go deal with that?

- Will do.

Here we go, Grapefruit.

Everybody's watching.

Fatherhood time.

Psst. Guys.

How do I get this baby to nap or whatever?

- Just give him one of your art critiques.

That'll put him right to sleep.

Hahaha!

- Ugh, nevermind.

Hey sport?

You wanna stop turning those dials?

GAHHHH!

- Whoa!

They were right.

Grapefruit stepping up as a dad IS pretty hot.

Hahaha!

- I'm good. I'm good.

Bum's a little burned, but it's fine.

I might need some ointment rubbed on it later...

Ladies.

- [Both] Ugh.

- Okay, listen up you little twerp.

You're embarrassing me in front of the pretty ladies.

Now can we PLEASE just--

(coos)

- GAHHH!

GAAAAUGH!

AAAIEEEEE!!!

- Wuh oh.

He's gonna need a whole lotta ointment later.

Not it.

- Not it.

- Not it.

- Aww man!

- STOP!

TOUCHING!

DIALS!

Okay, that's it!

Baby Yoda, you get back in your egg NOW!

Hear me??

NOW!

(Baby Yoda cries)

- Jeez, don't yell at him.

He's just a baby.

- HE IS FIFTY YEARS OLD! And he's had it out for me

ever since he came into the kitchen:

lifting more weight than me,

impressing the ladies more than me.

I've had it, I tell ya!

Just cuz he has cute eyes and cute hands--

- And his cute ears.

- Don't forget his cute ears.

- AH YES,

HOW COULD I EVER FORGET HIS CUTE EARS??

Well, that's it.

Grapefruit gave fatherhood a try,

it was a bust,

now this so-called "BABY" Yoda

can fend for himself for all I care!

- You're just gonna leave him?

- That's a WOOKIE mistake, bro.

Hahaha!

- Come on,

we're putting you back in your floaty egg thingamajig!

I'm gonna finish my workout,

draw a nice bath, and watch--

- The Mandolorian?

- Well, I was actually thinking Office reruns,

but yeah I should definitely catch up

on my Disney Plus a bit.

- No.

The Mandolorian!

- GUN HELLO.

- Back away from the child.

- You gun it.

I mean you "got."

You got it, gun.

I mean you got a gun.

- There, there.

- He's so good with babies.

- That's so sweet.

Mega-swoon.

- WhatEVER.

- Now lets get off this planet.

- Thanks a lot, Grapefruit.

Now they'll never come back to visit.

- Guys? Be honest with me,

am I cut out to be a father?

- No.

- Just give it to me straight.

I can take it.

- Grapefruit,

in no universe are you cut out to be a dad.

- Stop speaking in riddles!

Give it to me straight!

- YODA worst dad of all time, Grapefruit.

Hahaha!

- Okay.

I hear what you're saying, and I agree with you.

I probably will make a pretty great dad someday.

- That's not what we're saying.

- And I am a pretty great guy.

- No one is saying that.

- And I shouldn't bother to work on myself

because I'm already perfect

and in no way do I present malignant narcissism.

Thanks guys,

that's exactly what I needed to hear.

- What just happened?

And where did Orange go?

- What does this one do?

Hahaha!

- AAAAAAUGH!!!

AAAIEEEEE!!!