profits are way down this month. We need a gimmick to bring in customers.

Do you lubbers have any ideas?

How about Mouthful of Clams Day?

Everyone who shows up with a mouthful of clams, gets a free drink.

Huh? Huh?

Well, I was thinking more along the lines of live entertainment.

That's it, a floor show!

No, wait, a talent show with your host, me.

And I can see it now, your daughter Pearl with her name up in lights.

Hoppin' clams! A talent show!

I'm talented! I'd better call the folks!

Squidward, you've got a deal.

Make my little girl a star!

We are now at the Krusty Krab Talent Show featuring the finest talent in the town...

Wow! A full house! There's Mom and Dad.

They are gonna be so proud.

- I better get ready. - Alright, listen up people. Listen up.

Gather around everyone, chop, chop.

Now, you may be thinking this is your one shot at the big time.

Well, it's not. It's mine.

Hey, Squid! How about this for the show?

The Amazing Mister Absorbency!

Ta-da!

Ta-da!

No one is going to watch you engorge yourself

Please, Squidward, let me be in the show! I'll do anything!

Anything! Anything!

- So you really want to be in the show? - Oh, yes!

Okay, you get to mop up afterwards. Now will you stop bugging me?

So, this is what it feels like... the big time!

With this mop, I shape my destiny!

[applause]

[clearing throat]

Good evening and welcome to the 1st annual Squidward Tentacles Talent Show.

Sponsored by the Krusty Krab, home of the Krabby Patty,

because no one else would give it a home

[laughing]

Thank you.

Our next act is living proof that nepotism is alive and well.

[laughing]

Nepotis...

Put your--

[laughing]

[laughing]

Pearl.

Hooray!

My little girl is finally a star.

Give me a K-R-U!

[screaming]

Give me a S-T-Y!

[screaming]

Krusty Krab!

[screaming]

Krusty Krab!

[screaming]

Krusty Krab!

That's what I call talent!

Thank you!

My leg!

Thank you! Thank you!

And now poetry...

by Gary.

[meowing]

Oh, he has such a way with words.

And now, ladies and gentlemen,

the moment you've all been waiting for.

We've saved the best for last.

[music playing]

[music playing]

[booing]

Hey, Squidward, can I go on now?

Yeah, show's over!

[booing]

- Hey, yeah... - That's really not too bad.

- Yeah, alright! - Oh my gosh!

[cheering]

[cheering]

[cheering]

[cheering]

[cheering]

[cheering]

[cheering]

You did it, Squidward! What a great show!

Oh, my son's a star!

Whoever knew he had such talent?

[sighing]

[cheering]