"Oh when you come to Japan don't expect everything to be so cute, and anime, and manga"

They can suck a DUCK ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Because I am here at my third, if not fourth amazing cafe. We are at the PomPomPurin Cafe.

It is a pop-up event and he's getting together with his friend

Who's a pig who wears underpants

And I'm an adult, surrounded by other adults, enjoying food shaped like a pudding retriever

*GODZILLA ROAR*

I love my life. I love my life

*So Happy Cute Music!!*

*Dying Man Warrior Flute*

Martina ordered all the food I ordered an extra-AH arigato gozaimasu

I ordered these for me. If you wanted one you could have just asked for one

But you didn't so I have two toys, you have no toys

M: Listen you can keep one if you can answer one of my quiz questions

No no no hey

M: I'm gonna give you a PomPomPurin Quiz and if you can get it correct

M: You can hang on to one of those, but if you get them incorrect you lose it

It's not fair, okay you bring me out to these cafes, and I just have to deal with it

M: POMPOMPURIN FACT

And I just have to deal with it. This is my consolation. M: Okay ready?

Pop Quiz! (skill testing question!!!)

What would you say is PomPomPurin's, this is an easy one! What is his favorite food, and I need you to be specific

Let me see if both of our audio is recording. Okay, all these are recording right here, and let me just check on Safari

M: *gasp!*

M: Simon! You're cheating! You can't cheat!

I think PomPomPurin's (M: Yes) favorite food (Yes) is purin, which is pudding

M: But I need you to be more specific, cause that's only a 50% answer

His favorite kind of pudding is that yellow pudding, that has the little

M: No, I need you to be specific

PomPomPurin's favorite kind of pudding, is the pom pom pudding kind of pudding

(M: More specific than that) S: my god woman you asked me

M: It's his mom's pudding! It's his mom's purin, that's his favorite kind!

M: His mom makes purin, and it's his favorite kind of pudding!

S: You can't just...rip my toy...haha

S: You don't deserve the toy

How d... how dare you sir?

Ohhoohoohoohoo

How many people have done this?

Probably a lot. Er mai gerd Duckie. It's got a little beret straw oh my gosh

Just need a minute. Just need a minute yo.

So while Martina has the PomPomPurin shake, I have the PanpakaPantsu

M: It's that little guy up above him there

S: And he's a pig who likes pants

Can't really relate to him nobody likes pants. I mean come on. It's an obvious thing

M: Pop quiz question for you!

Pop quiz! What is it?

M: Where is this pig from, in Japan?

Um...the..the south side of it. South Siiiiiiiiiide

M: I told you where he was from before

Did you?

S: *In Chocobo voice* What's that Chocobo? Chocobo~, Chocobo~!

Baaaaa! ha ba ba ba ba ba!

M: He's from Shizuoka. S: Oh Shizuoka!! M: Yeah, and do you know what his life goal is?

To wear more pants?

M: To find the best pants in the world. He travels around, looking for the best pants.

S: That's a trick question because the best pants are no pants

Click on the little button right there if you agree with me, and you know that you do.

All right let me try this out

Oh! It's like a little Oreo milkshake wow I haven't had that flavor in a long time.

Let me stick in some ice cream in there

Good choice Simon. Good choice.

Ah! This is edible, right? (S: Just eat it)

Mmm

Whoa mine's a mango smoothie. It is intense wow. Ducky that is so good.

S: Oh, there are little strawberries at the bottom, I can see! M: Yeah!

I don't think I can eat him

S: I'll eat him if you can't

S: You don't do it. I'll eat it

*GODZILLA ROAR*

s: Is that like a Jesus paper, or is that styrofoam

I'll never tell but, you try yours and find out!

*gagging?* Cardboard

No, it's that um wafer paper. S: The Jesus paper. M: Yes, it's the Jesus paper as we call it.

It does not taste great I'll be honest with you, but gosh darn isn't it cute?

I'm just gonna put him right back into his cup where he belongs

M: Look at my little "I love junk" thing

M:This is super cute look at this. Okay, who should I try first?

I'm gonna try PomPomPurin first (S: Go for PomPomPurin) Oh my god. This is like

I don't want to devastate him. This is super cute

They used a mushroom as a bun, that's such a brilliant idea

So how do I do this because if I take this out his hat might fall off, right?

I don't even know what to do right now. I'm a little bit panicky.

S: Girl you gotta eat it as a whole, maintain it's integrity. M:This is gonna be so messy

I spilled stuff on my Love Junk sign! Nooooooooooooo

*happy food sounds*

It's actually really delicious

S: Oh, yeah, what's in it?

M: It's a chicken burger with cheese

M: A little bit of demi-glace on top of it

This is like a real little Swiss cheese, lettuce, and a fresh tomato. An actually delicious burger

*betrayal music*

*betrayed PomPomPurin*

S: I wanna bite

*Et tu Brutus?*

Oh. (S: Share with me) I was supposed to share with you? (Yeah) I see.

YOU HAVE TO ANSWER THIS POMPOMPURIN FACT FOR IT!

S: I'm not answering sh*t girl!

Yeah, I wasn't expecting quality when I came here, I just thought everything will be cute, but it was actually nice

This is a really pretty plate. I have to say

I always like my curries to be spicy, but it's still a nice wholesome PomPomPurin curry.

*so betrayed music*

Not the finest curry you'll find in Japan but it definitely makes you happy

When Stockholm Syndrome has kicked in

And you start loving everything about these theme cafes (M: lol Stop it)

S: One thing you should know when you come to cafes like this is you're not coming here for amazing food

It's not bad food

But it's not the kind of food that we usually take you for.

What you're coming here for is a kind of different environment, a fun environment

You're coming here more for the aesthetic and the vibe, than for the actual food itself

M: And one thing I feel is that Japan's really good at details

So it's not like they're gonna half-ass it with just like a menu cover, like they do the menu, they do the walls

Hey there, angry commentor

I know you're probably really tempted to write the word WEEB in the comments

We see those a lot, but let me ask you something.

What's wrong with me partaking in the culture when I'm here?

Why is it that it's unacceptable for adults to enjoy cafes like this

But it's totally acceptable for you to follow sports teams so religiously?

Have you ever thought about the hypocrisy of that?

I'm sure a lot of you probably spend a lot of money watching your favorite sports teams

Hell, you probably even have jerseys, and shoes made by little slave babies that you pay a whole lot of money for.

And if you want to criticize me for enjoying the PomPomPurin cafe

Take a good hard look at your own life, and criticize yourself for being a dweeb

That's the best comeback I could come back with (M: How about a SPWEEB?) S: A SQUEEB

M: A squeeb, a sports weeb

Are you gonna?

Are you gonna put a little paint under your eyes and watch your favorite football team and cry when they don't make it into the Playoffs?

Don't be a dork.

Yes I have converted to the dark side

I was a naysayer, but now I'm stuck here, for the rest of my life

M: I don't think I properly explained just who Pompompurin actually is.

Pompompurin is a Golden Retriever Purin, which means he's a big pudding

And he sleeps in a tiny purin sized basket outside of a little girl's house

And his beret is meant to like represent when you have a purin, when there's like the caramel and sugar sauce on top

His favorite things to do include going outside, walking, and exercising.

His favorite word is okay, let's go play!

But he doesn't like stop, or that's enough.

He was born in April, 1996

S: Is that...is that the truth? M: It's pretty accurate (S: Oh gosh)

I'm on the Pompompurin Sanrio wiki, there's a Wikipedia page for Pompompurin

Pompompurin (M:yes) was introduced in 1996 (uh-huh)

And his birthday is April 16 (M: Uh-huh) on a sunny day. (Yes)

He lives near the front door of a girl's house (M: Yes he does) In a special purin sized basket (He sure does)

He loves the phrase "Let's go out." (M: Uh-huh) But hates the phrase "Stay"

(he loves?) His mother's cream pudding, and he loves anything soft

M: How many points of correct did I get?

Too many! It's...it's unsettling, you just know too much

So you remember I told you I wrote down some Pompompurin facts in my fact book?

I lied I just had them memorized

I just can't help it

I think that it's so wholesome and wonderful like there's a sign behind us that says

"Making pancakes and friends" and like, Pompompurin and the Pig Pants Guy are hanging out together

They're like, "Let's make some pancakes together."

S: I think you're such a sweet and endearing girl

Hey, so like if you guys are free later on maybe we could hang out and I can make pancakes with you

And we could just become friends together

Oh, you're busy running an empire. I see.

I mean, what are you doing? Oh? You're traveling to find more pants?

Cool cool. No. That's cool. I mean...um...could you like...could you like sign my shirt?

I'm just like a really oh, you're...you don't have any fingers. No cool..c-cool...cool. No. I totally understand

*whispers* I-I love...I love you Pompompurin

And this is why people think we're weird, and why people who like anime are weird.