S: So we are here in Kurume Ramen Sei Yo Ken

S: We have travelled out of Tokyo all the way down to Fukuoka, and then we went from Fukuoka to Kurume

S: So we are having Tonkotsu Ramen today.

M: This place is beyond legit. It started in 1952.

M: Someone started a street stall, and they started this original kind of Ramen.

M: They have this recipe that's been passed on forever, S: Uh-huh, yeah M: it's older than us.

M: I feel like this is the first official real Japanese Ramen video we're putting out there, aren't we?

S: We have been in Japan for a year now, and we didn't want to rush a Ramen kind of video... but here comes the ramen!

M: Simon's like, "I don't want to rush it!" (sheep noise?)

(waiter talking, S&M thanking)

(porn-like Oooing and Ahhhing noises)

(rewinding tape noise)

(dramatic music)

(music gets funky B) )

M: So we ordered their two special Ramens on the menu.

M: This one here is one that's actually richer, so they use kinda like the pork fat from the back,

(S: uh-huh)

M: and they boil it down and then they add it into it to make it like, much creamier.

M: ...and Simon has the one that doesn't have that in it, so it's not as rich.

S: Okay, so here's the deal

(M: obviously gonna share)

S: ...we have to start eating this right away because Ramen has a very fast time limit,

S: it starts going soggy if you talk for too long, so let's just eat this and show you what it's about.

M: The noodles get all bloated and everything.

S: Okay. Don't be grossed out, but the pork bone that we're actually eating is pork skull.

S: So in their - M: [we're] not eating the skull, but...

S: In their vat of broth is just water, and the skull of a pig. (M: mmm-hmm)

S: ...and they left in the brain and they left in the eyes, because it gives a sweetness to the broth,

S: and that's all the seasoning that you have!

M: How amazing is the restaurant, they have a little basket with hair elastics!

S: Hey, you know that a girl is serious if she looks in the eyes, puts her hair back in a ponytail, and starts slurping down some wet noodles.

M: Yeah.

S: You know what I'm talkin' 'bout.

S: I'm only talking about Ramen, get your head out of the gutter.

S: Let's start! (Itadakimasu) M: Itadakimasu!

M: OOoh I can see little pieces of the pork fat floating 'round in here!

S: Aaaaaahh yeahh.

(S: (slurping)) M: Ohhh my god!

S: Lemme try. M: Oh my god.

M: ...this is like... S: I don't have any in mine! M: That's because you didn't get the rich one. Try this, ready?

S: Those are like, little, fried bits... M: Little tiny fried bits of like, pork rind magic.

S: Ehyooo... M: Right?

S: That tastes like pork rinds. M: It is pork rinds!

S: It's just pork rinds in the soup. (M: It is pork rinds.)

(M: Oh my god) S: It's so... ri- I don't know how to explain this flavor, because I don't really have broths like this back in North America.

S: It's creamy, and rich, but it's not like, milk creamy. (M: mmhmm.)

S: The closest equivalent is like a cream of mushroom soup. That's the... that's the only taste that I remember, that... that this is kind of like. M: (continuous yummy noises)

M: Well, the key with this kind of soup is the collagen.

M: So this particular shop boils it, for like, three days, until everything has broken down.

M: It's actually pretty healthy for you, technically.

M: All those nutritions, and then carbs and noodles.

S: Can you say it's pretty healthy with all those S&M: Carbs and noodles?

S: I gotta say I'm really embarrassed, when it comes to eating Ramen noodles, because I don't know how to do it right.

S: All of my friends, they can just put a bunch in their mouth, slurp it down-

S: And the whole point of slurping is that you don't want to wait for it to cool down, so you're breathing in so that it cools it down.

S: ...but I just keep on choking on my noodles

M: You really can't do it? S: Mm-mm.

M: Okay watch. Take it like this, I grab it with my teeth, and I pull the noodles up the bottom, while I catch it in my teeth doing this: (sucks in at through teeth) ...like that.

S: Okay, show me. M: Okay. Ready? Watch.

(romantic tune overlaying Martina slurping grossly)

(S&M mm-hmm'ing)

M: No? S: Mmmmm-hmmm. (sarcastically)

M: Why're you making a face like that? S: No!

M: ...and what has to be one of our all time favorite additions is a' the hanjku tamago.

M: A perfectly soft boiled-ish egg (music in background: Handel's 'Hallelujah Chorus')

M: with...I don't know how they make this magical center look like this.

S: Ramen eggs make me so happy.

M: Now, one of the things about Ramen that's so amazing it that it really changes according to where you are.

M: So Tokyo noodles are different, than noodles that you might found[find] like out in Fukuoka, versus Kyoto.

S: (slurping)

M: The noodles here are cut really, really thin, (S: slurping continuously)

M: ...and supposedly, that's because originally it started by a bunch of guys that were down by the docks that were fishermen, wanting to eat their stuff quickly.

M: ...and so if you have a thick noodle it's difficult to eat, but if they're thin, you can just kinda shovel that down. S: (slurping loudly)

S: So that's apparently where the thin, straight cut noodles came from here.

M: This is actually my style of noodle when it comes to Ramen. This is what I prefer.

S: ...and everybody has a different preference when it comes to Ramen.

S: A lot of our Japanese friends aren't that fond of Tonkotsu Ramen, they prefer something like a Shio or a Shoyu

S: ...because they fine Tonkotsu Ramen too rich and too thick.

S: ...and I think they're crazy because this is just insanely delicious. M: (mm's in agreement)

S: The... the other kinds of ramen that I had like Shio or Shoyu are... all right.... but I always prefer Tonkotsu.

S: ...and supposedly, according to my Japanese friends, most Westerners prefer Tonkotsu.

M: ...and we've had Tonkotsu Ramen before in Tokyo. I found it really heavy, and oily,

S: Yes!

M: So when I ate it... it was like eating fat gob-lets on top. (S: slurping in agreement)

M: It always made my stomach feel a bit ill.

S: (noises of agreement) M: This is very different.

M: This almost tastes like a chicken soup.

M: Like that kind of homemade chicken flavor. It doesn't have a heavy, greasy taste whatsoever.

M: Simon's about to chow down on what looks like some kind of noodle or meat, but it is not, it is actually a bamboo shoot.

M: This is Menma. S: I love Menma. Martina's not fond of it, so she doesn't have that much in her's.

M: It depends on the location! So, some places I find the Menma is quite over powering, because it's usually like a fermented one,

M: or it's been soaked in a sauce, while other places I find it quite fresh and crunchy.

M: ...and that's what's cool about Ramen, is you can get a lot of them customizable.

M: This is Chyashu, which I'm sure I'm not pronouncing properly.

M: But basically it's just a really thinly sliced pork that goes into it.

M: If you're at a bad location, it'll be tough, it'll be chewy... it'll taste like it's just been way over cooked and you're like; (nyang nyang nyang (tough chewing noises))

M: If you're at a great place, like this, it's gonna fall apart in your mouth.

S: Aahhh

M: Ahhh~

S (deep sexy voice): Oh baby you understand me, don't you? Yes you do.

(M: ...?)

S (deep sexy voice): Put you in my stomach and remember you forever.

S (deep sexy voice): You know what? I'm not even going to go to the bathroom, I'm gonna hold it in for you.

S (deep sexy voice): I'm gonna keep you with me forever.

M: Ah- are you talking to me or the Ramen?

S: To you!!! Of course... my love......

S: You gonna finish that?

S: I will say though - uh - what I just did is a little bit strange, because in most of the Ramen shops that I've gone to,

S: I see people finish the noodles and then pretty much leave the broth behind,

S: but I don't know how they could do that, this is so delicious.

S: Maybe because it's not super healthy, or whatnot, so people just want to have the noodles instead,

S: but I think I'm like one of the only people that I know that finishes my broth.

M: What you have to do, is book a plane ticket, you need to fly to Japan, S: Look, come all the way here.

M: you come to Fukuoka, ok, you come to Kurume, and then you order the soup, (S: Yes, yes, yes...)

M: and then you go, oh my god, I know what you're talking about now! S: I understand now, I understand.

M: ...and you'll join our club.

M: Mmm! S: You know what, I don't think we actually... um...

(sad music) M: (humming) S: filmed enough? Should we get another bowl, just in case?

S: because people... wanna know... M: Right! Um... the card might have... corrupted and so...

S: Did we... did we record that properly?

S&M: I'm not sure... M: ...if we...

S&M: (happy cheering-like noises)

(waiter talking)

S&M: (thanking)

S: Um, so, are we supposed to say more about this?

S: Uhh.... M: Oh, we just wanted to... shovel it down?

S: We just wanna eat this. Here's for you... M: I see how this is.

S: Is this one bowl gonna be enough for us?

S: Oh no, we're not have a (mumbles) M: err... didn't press record...

S&M: (mumbling & ermergerd'ing)

M: I'm sure if anyone saw this right now, they're like, "look at that couple sharing a Ramen bowl together because they can't finish it."

M: And we're like, yes! Sharing....! S: It's our third bowl of Ramen...

S: Sharing! M: Sharing it...

S: Yes

S: I'm ready for some warm snuggles.

S: 'bout to get naked, curl up in da bed M: In the middle of a Ramen shop? Really? S: and go to sleep.

S: I love you gurl! M: Oh no, Simon's got the... Simon's got the food happies again.

(noises muffled because of Martina being squished against Simon's mic)

M: ??? ...really happy with food. (laughing)

S: You're the love of my life, you know that?

M: What about ramen? S: I'm so happy that I married you!

M: I thought you were talking about... are you talking to Ramen or me?

S: Thank you for coming to Japan with me.

S: ...and participating in these food adventures.

(S: kiss noise) M: Are you food drunk? S: I just love you so much gurl.

M: He's food drunk, people.

S: You're the best thing that ever happened to me~ M(whisper): Food drunk!!!

S: I like your smell. You smell like snuggles.

M (whisper): For sure food drunk.

S: Hush girl.

S: Whoo, alright, snuggle up.

S: (slurp)

S: mmm-hmm M: (gasp)

M (whisper): He's eating it! S: No, no I'm just whispering (blows)

S: (blows) That's- (blows)- that's what it is. (blows)

(now just happy background music)

(wet willy noise) M: ~ah!~

(next segment: Martina's sexy food porn voice)

Oooh what's that? You though this video wouldn't have any sexy food porn voice talking?

Well, you were wrong. It's time to embarrass you in front of your family.

What's that, they're watching right now? Oooooh!!

What are these noises coming from the computer?

It's all about food baby, it's all about food.

Bet'cha wish you had headphones on now don't'cha?

You wanna see something sexy? Take a look at that meat, that beautiful piece of meat.

OOU! I love the way you drop into that hot white milky liquid.

Oh, just like that.

Open it up, open it up, open it up!

OOOOHHHH! Gently place it in... fantastic!

(slurping noise)

Oooh I could eat that every single day.

Okay, it's safe now.

You can take off your headphones, and turn the volume back up.

Ha ha, I was lying! Did you know this restaurant did Fried Rice using the leftover pork from the Ramen?

Oh my god, look at it being tossed in that machine!

Just whipped around, back and forth, oooh what a naughty wok.

Throw that all over my rice covered body oooohhhhh, yeah,

just like that, I love it when you beat that egg in that hot, sizzling wok, OOOHHHHHHH

(fading) add those onions in as well... ooh you're such a bad, bad, chef...aren't you?

That's right, serve that rice up into that box.

OH! Look at it shaking, my God, with those flavors, uh! I could have that every day.

Okay, now I'm done.

Was it good for you?