CAN YOU HEAR ME?

CAN EVERYONE HEAR ME?

HOW DO I KNOW IF I'M MUTED?

>> JAMES: WE CAN HEAR YOU.

>> GREAT.

SO, LOOK, THANKS FOR BEING HERE.

I DON'T KNOW WHERE TO START.

WHAT HAPPENED, GUYS?

>> I'M SHELL SHOCKED.

>> TOTALLY.

SHELL SHOCKED.

>> JAMES: I AM ALSO SHELL SHOCKED.

>> I'M SUPER DUPER, SUPER DUPER SHELL SHOCKED.

>> THERE'S A GLOBAL PANDEMIC, MILLIONS OF PEOPLE ARE WORKING

FROM HOME AND WE DROPPED THE BALL.

THIS SHOULD BE OUR MOMENT.

WHAT HAPPENED?

>> I... NO IDEA.

>> JAMES: IT'S LIKE... 2020, MAN.

YOU KNOW?

>> WE ARE SKYPE, PEOPLE!

SKYPE!

AS RECENTLY AS FEBRUARY, WE WERE A VERB!

WE WERE THE THING.

"HEY, ARE YOU COMING TO MY BIRTHDAY PARTY?"

"I CAN'T, I'M IN JOSHUA TREE WITH MY AUNT, BUT I CAN SKYPE

IN."

"OH, EVEN BETTER."

WHERE DID THAT GO?

>> JAMES: I THINK IT WAS-- >> NO, DON'T YOU SAY IT.

>> OH, YOU MEAN, Z-- >> DON'T YOU DARE SAY, "ZOOM."

>> JAMES: IT'S JUST REALLY HARD TO ANSWER THAT WITHOUT SAYING

ZOOM.

I MEAN, EVERYONE LOVES ZOOM.

ZOOM MEETINGS.

>> ZOOM TRIVIA NIGHTS.

>> ZOOM HAPPY HOURS.

>> ZOOM COURT HEARINGS TO GET CUSTODY OVER YOUR GOLDENDOODLE

"MUGSY" FROM YOUR WORTHLESS EX-FIANCE, STUART.

UGH, ZOOM'S THE WORST.

>> JAMES: HONESTLY, VIDEO CHAT SHOULDN'T BE EASY.

IF IT DOESN'T TAKE AT LEAST 25 MINUTES TO SET-UP, I'M NOT

INTERESTED.

I DON'T TRUST IT.

>> LIKE, I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT ZOOM IS.

WHAT IS THAT, LIKE A VENGA BOYS SONG?

>> NO, IT'S THE COMPANY THAT'S BEATING US IN EVERY SINGLE

NON-GRANDMOTHER-RELATED DEMOGRAPHIC!

I DON'T UNDERSTAND IT.

WHAT HAVE THEY GOT THAT WE DON'T?

>> IT'S INEXPLICABLE.

>> WELL, IT HAS TO BE SOMETHING!

>> JAMES: TREVOR?

TREVOR...

TREVOR.

TREV!

I THINK HE'S FROZEN.

>> HUH?

OH, NO, SORRY, I WAS THINKING ABOUT THE VENGA BOYS.

I'VE GOT NOTHING.

>> IF I CAN JUMP IN HERE, ZOOM DOES HAVE SOME PRETTY COOL

FEATURES.

I MEAN, NOT COOL, I PERSONALLY HATE THEM, BUT, LIKE, YOU CAN

CHANGE YOUR BACKGROUND.

>> YOU CAN CHANGE YOUR BACKGROUND WITH SKYPE!

WATCH!

THERE!

NEW BACKGROUND!

>> JAMES: YOU JUST GOT UP AND MOVED YOUR COMPUTER.

>> YEAH, EXACTLY.

I SWITCHED BACKGROUNDS.

WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?

>> JAMES: OKAY, BUT IF YOU WANT A TROPICAL ISLAND AS YOUR

BACKGROUND, YOU HAVE TO ACTUALLY FLY TO A TROPICAL ISLAND.

>> DOESN'T SOUND LIKE A PROBLEM TO ME!

>> JAMES: WHERE'S OUR HEAD OF MARKETING?

HE SHOULD BE ALL OVER THIS.

HAS ANYONE SEEN LOUIS?

>> HE SHOULD BE HERE.

LET ME TEXT HIM.

>> SORRY, I HAD THE WRONG ZOOM ROOM-- NOT ZOOM ROOM, I MEAN,

SKYPE ROOM...

>> OH, MY GOD, THIS IS THE PROBLEM!

>> EXACTLY.

SKYPE DOESN'T RHYME WITH ROOM.

>> THAT'S NOT WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT!

>> WHAT IF WE ADDED A CHAT FEATURE?

>> ZOOM HAS IT.

>> RECORDING?

>> ZOOM HAS IT.

>> JAMES: I'LL TELL YOU WHAT ZOOM DOESN'T HAVE.

THEY DON'T HAVE A FUNKY LITTLE JINGLE.

DO YOU HEAR A FUNKY LITTLE JINGLE WHEN YOU ZOOM SOMEONE?

YOU DON'T HEAR A FUNKY LITTLE JINGLE.

PLAY OUR FUNKY LITTLE JINGLE.

(SKYPE JINGLE) YAY!

>> I LOVE THAT SONG.

>> IT HONESTLY SAVED MY LIFE.

>> IT'S SO GOOD.

(EVERYONE SINGING SKYPE JINGLE) >> GUYS, STOP, STOP.

THIS IS TERRIBLE.

THIS IS THE WORST YEAR EVER.

NO ONE'S NAME HAS TAKEN A HARDER HIT THAN US.

>> NOBODY?

>> OH.

YEAH.

SORRY KAREN.

EXCEPT YOU.

>> SORRY, KAREN.

>> I'M SO SORRY, KAREN.

ARE YOU DOING OKAY?

>> I CAN'T COMPLAIN.

LITERALLY, I CAN'T COMPLAIN, EVER AGAIN.

>> ALRIGHT EVERYONE, FOCUS.

HOW DO WE WIN BACK THE HEARTS AND THE SCREENS OF AMERICA?

>> OKAY, WHAT DOES EVERYONE LOVE?

FREE STUFF AND VACATIONS.

>> JAMES: YES.

>> SO WHAT IF EVERY TIME SOMEBODY NEW SIGNS UP FOR

SKYPE...

>> JAMES: YES.

>> -- THEY'RE ENTERED INTO A RAFFLE TO WIN A FREE VACATION...

>> JAMES: LOVE WHERE YOU'RE GOING WITH THIS.

>> ON A CARNIVAL CRUISE.

WHOA, WHOA, WAIT.

LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT.

YOU'RE SAYING THE WAY TO SAVE SKYPE DURING A GLOBAL PANDEMIC

IS TO GIVE OUR CUSTOMERS FREE TRIPS ON A CRUISE SHIP?

>> YES.

>> THAT'S GENIUS!

LET'S GET THE CONTRACT GOING.

I GOTTA JUMP OFF.

I HAVE A ZOOM WORKOUT WITH MY TRAINER IN FIVE, THEN I GOTTA

FACETIME MY KIDS.

MEETING ADJOURNED!

WE'RE BACK, BABY!

(CHEERS) >> James: WE'RE BACK, BABY,

YEAH!

GREAT MEETING, GUYS.

>> HOW TO I GET OUT OF HERE.

STILL SEE ME?

IS IT LIKE A HOAX?

>> James: IT'S A MEETING.

LET'S END THE MEETING.

( TALKING AT THE SAME TIME ) >> James: HOST.

THE HOST HAS TO END THE MEETING!