Three..two--

♪ For the past eighteen years ♪

♪ Your life's been pretty smooth ♪

♪ Let's take a moment and reflect ♪

♪ On all you've had to do ♪

♪ You've rolled out of bed ♪

♪ And strolled to the living room ♪

♪ And watched Cartoon Network ♪

♪ While your mom made waffles for you ♪

♪ Your laundry was magically clean ♪

♪ And your dad's back pocket ♪

♪ Was an ATM machine ♪

♪ Your life's biggest worry ♪

♪ was what to wear to the prom ♪

♪ And your only regret was that incident ♪

♪ With the stink bomb ♪

♪ Do you hear that subtle sound? ♪

♪ That's the sound of reality ♪

♪ About to slap the taste out your mouth ♪

♪ Now you're on your own ♪

♪ You should be scared ♪

♪ But we can tell ♪

♪ You don't care ♪

Why don't you care?

You should be frightened.

♪ You're young and now you're free ♪

♪ The world is your oyster ♪

♪ We have no clue what that means ♪

♪ But let us paint a picture of your future ♪

♪ You're gonna eat a lot of Hot Pockets ♪

♪ And you're thinkin' that sounds great ♪

♪ Well get back to us in six months ♪

♪ When you've had ♪

♪ Three hundred and seventy-eight ♪

♪ As soon as you move out ♪

♪ You know what your parents are gonna do ♪

♪ They're gonna turn your bedroom ♪

♪ Into an exercise room ♪

♪ That they never use ♪

♪ And you won't use lockers in college ♪

♪ And this might be a total bummer ♪

♪ There are no yearbooks either ♪

♪ You'll actually have to say ♪

♪ "Have a great summer" ♪

♪ Do you feel that gentle breeze? ♪

♪ It's the category five hurricane of adulthood ♪

♪ About to hit you upside the head with a tree ♪

♪ Now you're on your own ♪

♪ Don't screw this up ♪

♪ You're on your own ♪

♪ Good luck ♪

You're gonna need it.