The universe is governed by two opposing forces.

Order and chaos.

Hey, it's like you and me whiz.

No, I mean literally.

As legend goes for God to be good, there must be an equal force of evil to create balance.

An evil found in an alternate dimension called the chaotic realm.

This is chaos.

But to keep his spot in the balance on Earth, chaos needed to choose a dark Lord to represent him.

A dark messiah, if you will.

As luck would have it, a perfect candidate would end up choosing him.

In the 11th century.

Mathias Crunk feast was the strategic mastermind behind a company of nights alongside fellow commander and best friend Leon Belmont's.

But as with most bromance, is it got screwed up by ah ho manse.

Broomstick have some tacked.

His wife died from Ah, horrible illness was a third wheel.

And I'm sorry, Wiz, but you can already tell this guy is evil because his name is math.

I mean, I know we use math all the time to do the show, but sometimes one must embrace the darkness to see the light, right.

Anyway, Mathias grief was so intense he swore vengeance on God himself.

To achieve his vengeance, Mathias sought the powers of God's polar opposite chaos.

So he set up a nisi six step plan.

Step one, pick up a red Rock of the Crimson Stone.

It will be important later.

Step to force death itself to become your personal secretary.

Step three, Kill Luigi Step Poor.

Convince the vampire named Walter to kill liens Fiance Because misery loves company.

Step five.

Let Leon murder poor Walt and half deaths of his soul into that red rock.

Step six.

Congratulations.

You are now a vampire.

Got kids.

I hope you are paying attention.

From that day forth, Mathias rejected his humanity.

He became a vampire and much more.

He was the dark Lord.

Dracula, you know, is all those steps seemed pretty familiar.

What do you mean?

You've got that weird glowy red rug.

That intern you hired always wears a black cloak and could really use some deodorant.

And didn't you mention a college buddy named Count Jimmy?

Let me see your teeth.

Wait.

What do you What?

Show me your fangs show.

May I know they're there?

Get off.

Shit.

No, it's a normal canine.

Dammit!

Do you have anything that's interesting about you?

Well, I'm especially adapted getting my feelings hurt.

Dude, In next week for the full episode and maybe a little cry baby here, we'll have sucked it up.