Well hey, Macdonald.

How you doing man?

Okay, good. Now.

You're gonna show both of us how to cook something

fantastic today, is that correct?

Yes, we're gonna do the most amazing red mullet

with some fennel, orange and

on the back of how bad you were last time,

this is gonna be cooked in a bag.

Okay, we're gonna cook this in a bag.

You are known, you clap your hands a lot,

you yell at people, you are intimidating;

this is gonna go very badly.

There's always you two guys. Now come on.

Right, first thing I want you to do is to segment an orange.

Okay? Norm?

Yeah?

Wakey wakey.

No one else in the world says "Segment an orange".

(all laughing)

You just cut the edges off. That's what you want, right?

No, you already started at the wrong end. Look.

There's the bit there.

Alright, alright.

(beep)

So you just top it and take it like that,

look, come on, wake up, stand there.

I'm up to four segments,

(beep)

What? You didn't tell me the number of segments.

(beep)

He wants the edges off.

What am I supposed to (beep) do?

Hey, hey, hey, hey , hey!

Okay, Norm, so you go from there, look,

all the way around.

Yeah.

Seven minutes of audio will play for this whole hour.

Now all the way there.

Once you've gone all the way around...

Yeah?

Hey Conan, pay attention please, watch.

Yeah all right, I'm over here,

I got my own orange going all right?

All the way around, so we take off the skin.

You're not teaching me, you're just showing off.

Yeah,

I'm not even there.

That's the segment.

There you go, all right.

Cheerio and chop chop.

Left and right, off you go, now watch your fingers.

And then after that, okay,

Now look at this, mine's pretty good already.

There's sections of skin, still, but what the hell?

Where's the orange gone?

And it's like one in the morning, who- you know?

We'll forget that one.

Right, fennel.

Okay, here we go.

Now with the fennel, okay, gonna push this off.

Just slice that down, nice and thinly.

[Conan] Now that I can do.

See that was explained.

I segmented another one.

Where's the segment?

What?

(beep)

Where is it?

I threw it over there.

Oh, jeez. Okay look.

All right I'm doing well, Gordon.

That's the good part, that's the inside part.

Right, okay.

Stop yelling.

Okay, right, that's great.

Now from there, take it back.

All right.

Okay, now we do one each okay?

Why would you become a cook?

(all laughing)

Come on, Norm, keep it together.

It's not that bad.

Hey, big boy,

the word 'Chef'.

Yeah, chef, you're right.

Ladies cook.

I know, I know.

(Audience booing)

It was a joke!

(beep)

All right, all right, cook it up.

Hey, hey, hey, hey!

We can beep out the swear

but when there's this going around,

I can't do anything with that.

I was waving to someone over there.

I was waving.

All right so we got the vegetables in the bag,

Okay, right, fennel.

Fennel, the fennel goes in the bag.

Don't- we need the bag.

I need the

bag!

Stop it!

Stop it!

(beep)

Okay.

None of this will air.

We're gonna show an old F-troop in this section.

Right, so, fennel.

All right fennel in here.

By the way, there's a bottle of booze.

Oh hey.

Norm, you're supposed to be following me.

All right, all right so we put oranges in here.

And then from there, red mullet.

Red mullet is a kind of fish.

Knife doesn't go in the bag.

You'll slice his throat open more.

From there, a little bit of salt,

a little bit of pepper, olive oil.

Now from there, now watch carefully

a little bit of seasoning, okay.

Norm, you're making me feel dizzy,

standing there, looking busy.

Right, here we go.

I'll tell you what, big man, I'm not ready to listen to

(beep)

(all laughing)

Stop, you haven't even tasted it yet.

Why are we even having a cooking segment at this point?

Why would there even be a cooking segment?

(audience cheering)

Why would anybody even have

a cooking segment with you people?

No, hear me out.

Right form the back over, nice and tight, okay?

And then from there, twist the paper.

Twist the paper? All right.

Nice and tight.

Aren't you glad that I hope he is a magician?

A bird's gonna come out, yeah alright.

Now all the way around.

All right.

Now from there, a little hole,

okay, and then from there, pour

a little bit of wine in there.

That's a big waste of wine, right there, buddy boy.

Okay and then from there, turn it around, okay?

(beep)

What?

(beep)

Look, you gotta be tight.

He pointed at me and goes, 'Look what Norm did'.

We gotta treat it nice and tight.

This is not gonna air, this is will never

be seen by anybody.

This will never been seen by anybody.

Just concentrate!

We've learnt

(beep)

Okay, what does it look like at the end?

Oh, look. It just came out magically from a pan.

This, is how it's cooked.

As it cooks, it steams inside the bag, okay?

Then you rip it open.

And then you got a beautifully steamed red mullet,

orange and fennel.

It never gets better than that.

Do it exactly the way we did, using the same language

and the same obscene gestures.

Gordon Ramsay, Norm Macdonald.

My apologies everyone.