[ Laughter ]

Welcome back. It's the end of the week, guys.

And that's usually when I catch up with some personal stuff.

I like to write out some thank you notes.

I was just wondering if I could do that right now.

I'll do it very quickly.

James, can I get some thank you notes writing music please?

♪♪

[ Laughter ]

You heard him, right? He gave a little...

[ Laughter ]

Thank you, Stanley Cup, for picking a really bad time

to be one giant trophy that everyone wants to touch,

kiss and drink out of.

[ Laughter ]

Thank you, President Trump, for accusing protestors

of throwing Bumble Bee Tuna for being the worst thing

to happen to canned tuna fish since the name,

taste, smell and packaging.

[ Laughter ]

Canned tuna fish.

Thank you, Sun on "The Masked Singer,"

for looking like "CBS Sunday Morning's"

evil twin brother.

[ Laughter ]

I love those horns.

Was Charles Osgood on our show, or was I on Charles' --

was I on "CBS Sunday Morning" where I made him

tie his bow tie?

Remember that?

-Yeah, it was on "CBS Sunday Morning."

-I was there, yeah, I think.

I was like, "I love your bow tie.

Did you really tie that yourself?"

He was like, "Of course."

I was like [swoosh]

He was like.

-Rude. -Five-year-old.

[ Laughing ] Yeah.

[ Laughs ] He was awesome.

He's a legend.

Thank you, Cracker Barrel, for announcing

you're going to start serving alcohol

and bring America one step closer

to the chicken fried steakarita.

[ Laughter ]

You know they're going to do that?

Thank you, Oral-B, for sounding like a '90s rapper.

[ Laughter ]

-Ah, yeah. It's your boy, Oral-B.

♪♪

-[ Rapping ] ♪ Nine out of 10 dentist approve ♪

♪ The one-tenth just didn't like to move ♪

♪ So I played them this kickass groove ♪

♪ And that's what they call me Oral-B, smooth ♪

Okay.

[ Laughter ]

I was going more '80s rap, like.

♪ I crept up into something tonight ♪

♪ And my name is Oral-B ♪

♪ And I rock to the record, the rickety-rock ♪

[ Scatting ]

[ Laughter ]

[ Scatting ]

Wow, he went on for that 25 minutes of rickety-romp rap.

[ Chuckles ]

Unfortunately tonight Oral-B will not be performing

"Rickety-romp rap."

Thank you, walking through a spider web,

for me turning me into a karate master.

[ Laughter ]

That's what a karate master looks like.

Thank you, hockey, for looking like

if 2020 were a sport.

There you go, everybody. Those are my thank you notes.