Subtitles section Play video Print subtitles NOW CHELSEA, I WANT TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT THIS, IN YOUR BRILLIANT NEW SPECIAL YOU TALK QUITE A LOT ABOUT YOUR UNRESTRAINED LOST FOR NEW YORK GOVERNOR ANDREW CUOMO. >> I MEAN I TALK MORE ABOUT ANDREW CUOMO THAN I DO ABOUT ANYTHING ELSE THESE DAYS. I WENT THROUGH A PERIOD OF TIME WHERE I WAS DEFINITELY SEXUALLY ATRACTED TO HIM. >> YES, YOU TALK VERY MUCH ABOUT ALL OF THE THINGS THAT YOU WOULD LIKE TO DO WITH HIM. BUT SINCE HE ISN'T THE ONLY BLUE STATE STUD IN OFFICE RIGHT NOW WE THOUGHT WE WOULD SEE WHICH CURRENT DEMS YOU WOULD LET SLIDE INTO YOUR DM'S IN A ROUND-OF-SHAG, MARRY, BANISH TO AN ISLAND. >> OKAY, OKAY. >> James: SO HERE WE'VE GOT THESE THREE HERE, THESE ARE OUR FIRST ONE, ANDREW CUOMO, GAVIN NEWSOM AND CORY BOOKER. NOW ONE OF THESE, YOU HAVE TO SLEEP WITH, ONE NIGHT ONE TIME. THE OTHER YOU HAVE TO MARRY. TILL DEATH US DO PART, THE WHOLE THING, DOG, THE OTHER ONE YOU PAN BANISH TO AN ISLAND NEVER TO SEE THEM AGAIN. WHO WOULD IT BE. >> WELL, FIRST OF ALL, ANDREW CUOMO WOULD BE MY FIRST CHOICE FOR. >> I THINK. >> James: FOR MARRIAGE. >> WELL, LET ME JUST WORK THIS OUT WITH YOU, BECAUSE CORY BOOK CERTIFICATE MY HOME STATE SENATOR. HE IS THE SENATOR FROM NEW JERSEY AND I REALLY LIKE HIM. HE'S VERY POETIC AND FLOWERY WHICH I THINK WOULD GET ON MY NERVES OVER TIME, YOU KNOW WHAT WHAT I MEAN, BUT I LOVE HIM, HE IS A DESCENT GUY BUT I JUST DON'T WANT TO HANG OUT WITH HIM. LONG-TERM, WE ARE NOT ON THE SAME PAGE, HE IS A VEGAN. SO I GUESS I WOULD HAVE SEX WITH GOVIN NEWSOM-- NO, NO, I WOULD HAVE SEX WITH CORY, NO, I THINK I WOULD HAVE SEX WITH GAFFE INNEWSOM. >> James: NO. >> WHO ARE YOU BAN YOU WERING TO AN ISLAND. >> I THINK I HAVE TO BANISH-- OKAY. HOLD ON A SECOND. I-- OH, OKAY, I'M GOING MARRY ANDREW CUOMO. >> James: OF COURSE. >> ES SEA GOING TO PROTECT ME. >> James: A LOCK. >> I WILL HAVE SEX WITH CORY BOOK ARE AND GAVIN NEWSOM I WILL BANISH TO THE ISLAND. >> James: I AGREE. >> BECAUSE IN THAT ORDER THOSE ARE THE PEOPLE I ADMIRE THE MOST IN THIS MOMENT. ANDREW CUOMO, CORY BOOKER AND GAVIN NEWSOM. >> James: THERE WE GO, BECAUSE WE MUST ABIDE BY THE EQUAL TIME RULES, WE HAVE TO BALANCE THIS OUT. SO WE ARE GOING TO MOVE ON SOME REPUBLICANS CELEBBITIES. SO HERE YOU HAVE GOT SCOTT BAIO, JAMES WOODS AND THE AMERICAN BAD ASS HIMSELF, KID ROCK. SO WHO WOULD YOU LIKE TO SHAG, WHO WOULD YOU MARRY, WHO WOULD YOU BANISH. >> I MEAN-- CHELSEA AND CHACHI. >> IS HE DEFINITELY THE ONLY ONE I COULD POSSIBLY [BLEEP] IS HIM, I'M SORRY. >> YOU HAVE TO DO THAT WITH TWO OF THEM. >> OKAY, SO THE BANISH TO THE ISLAND HAS TO BE KID ROCK BECAUSE I CAN'T DEAL WITH HATS AND STUFF. >> James: GONE, JAMES WOODS I WILL-- WELL, HE'S THE OLDEST SO HE WILL PASS AWAY SOONER SO I WILL MARRY LIMB. AND THEN SCOTT BA BAIO I WILL HAVE SEX WITH. THAT IS EASY. >> WE ARE GOING THROUGH, FEUNLLY, YOU HAVE ONE MORE FOR YOU, AFTER O WE ARE TALKING ABOUT THE REPUBLICAN POLITICIANS. OKAY AM YOU HAVE TED CRUZ. LINDSEY GRAHAM AND MITCH McCONNELL. WHO DO YOU SLEEP WITH, WHO DO YOU MARRY AND WHO DO YOU BANISH TO AN ISLAND. >> OKAY, THIS ONE I HAVE A BOOED ONE. THEY ARE GOING TO, WHICH IS, THIS FACE FORWARD SEX OR CAN I BE FACING A DIFFERENT DIRECTION? (LAUGHTER). >> James: EITHER WAY. >> AND I'M WEARING A MASK HAVE. >> James: EITHER WAY TED CRUZ CRIES AT SOME POINT DURING IT. >> OKAY. YEAH, TED CRUZ IS IMPOSSIBLE TO HAVE SEX WITH, SO THIS IS WHAT I AM GOING TO DO, I AM GOING TO-- I'M GOING TO BANISH TED CRUZ TO AN ISLAND. >> James: REALLY. >> SEE I'M MARRYING CRUZ EVERY STEP OF THE WAY. >> HE IS A TURN COAT AND A LIAR AN HE DOESN'T EVEN PROTECT HIS OWN WIVE OR DEFEND HIS OWN WIFE. IS HE GOING TO AN ISLAND AND HE IS A SCUM BAG. IS HE GOING TO AN ISLAND. >> James: WHEREAS MITCH. >> MCH I'M ABOUTING TO HAVE SEX WITH JUST SO I CAN BEAT HIM UP. I WOULD HAVE SHALL-- HE WOULD NOT KNOW WHAT HIT HIM, IF I LANDED ON TOP OF HIM, CAN YOU IMAGINE WHAT WOULD HAPPEN, HOPEFULLY HE WOULD HAVE A HEART ATTACK AND WE WOULD BE DONE WITH HIM. AND THEN LINDSEY GRAHAM, OBVIOUSLY I WILL CHOOSE TO MARRY BECAUSE HE'S SO EASY TO MANIPULATE MENTALLY THAT I CAN TURN HIM INTO A DEMOCRAT SCRZ THAT'S IT. SHE HAS DONE IT.
A2 banish james andrew cuomo cuomo marry island Marry, Shag, Banish: GOP Senators w/ Chelsea Handler 36 2 林宜悉 posted on 2020/10/29 More Share Save Report Video vocabulary