DAVID: OK, let's do it.

SHELLY: Yeah?

DAVID: Great.

SHELLY: Wow.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

MALE SPEAKER: Yeah, what can I get you folks?

SHELLY: I'll have a Corona.

DAVID: I'll have a chocolate martini.

MALE SPEAKER: Okie-doke.

DAVID: Do you have sugar-free chocolate liqueur?

MALE SPEAKER: Um, I'll ask.

DAVID: If they have it, you know, use it.

MALE SPEAKER: OK.

DAVID: I'm just trying not to do carbs.

SHELLY: Why don't you just do me?

DAVID: Shelly.

Wow.

Shelly, where are you from originally?

SHELLY: I grew up in Woodstock.

DAVID: Oh, Woodstock, huh?

The Woodstock Festival?

SHELLY: Yeah.

DAVID: Jimi Hendrix, is that what it is?

SHELLY: Yeah.

DAVID: What about Janis Joplin?

Joan Baez, The Who, Sha Na Na, is that--

SHELLY: [LAUGHS]

DAVID: Crosby, Stills & Nash.

Santana.

Richie Havens.

Jefferson Airplane.

The Credence Clearwater Revival, is that--

SHELLY: Wow, you know a lot of bands.

DAVID: Ravi Shankar.

What--

Sly and the Family Stone.

You know, when I was a kid, I always thought it was a mark

of sophistication to have a full martini just hidden,

like, right here in your breast pocket.

SHELLY: Yeah?

DAVID: And then you pull it out like, you know, you're

just a real--

oh, god.

SHELLY: Oh!

MALE SPEAKER: That's OK.

That's all right.

I'll get you another one.

DAVID: I'm sorry.

SHELLY: Don't you worry.

You look better wet.

DAVID: Shelly, what is going on here?

SHELLY: David, I don't hang out with just anyone.

DAVID: I don't, either.

SHELLY: I really felt something here and--

DAVID: Me too.

SHELLY: I'm willing to give this a try.

Oh, my god!

DAVID: What's the matter?

SHELLY: Don't look!

It's Barney.

He's here.

Don't look!

DAVID: Barney?

SHELLY: Yes.

DAVID: What?

Are you not on good terms with him?

SHELLY: Are you kidding me?

I was hoping I'd never see that lying anal rag again.

Don't look.

DAVID: Should we just go somewhere else?

SHELLY: No.

I'm not gonna let him control my life.

Let's just keep having a good time.

So, David, where are you from originally?

DAVID: Shaker Heights.

But it's not what you think.

My high school was half black.

SHELLY: Oh, god, he just saw me.

DAVID: Do you want me to go beat him up?

SHELLY: No.

I want to keep having a really good time and pretend like he

hasn't affected me at all.

BARNEY: Shelly.

SHELLY: Hi.

BARNEY: Mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mmm.

SHELLY: Hello.

BARNEY: Who's this balding doppelganger?

DAVID: I think you're using that word incorrectly, but--

SHELLY: His name's David.

DAVID: Nice to meet you.

Where are you from originally?

BARNEY: Baron Creek.

You never heard of it.

DAVID: Oh, so I guess I've never heard of the Baron Creek

Rodeo with Geldar the Baby Dog.

BARNEY: I stand corrected.

Touche.

Well, I'll leave you two alone.

SHELLY: No, no.

Barney, why don't you join us.

We can be civilized adults.

BARNEY: OK.

SHELLY: So how have you been?

BARNEY: In repair mode.

My soul was wounded, but I march onward, never looking

back, only fighting for the future.

SHELLY: That is so cool.

MALE SPEAKER: OK, there we go.

And I'm sorry, but they don't have any more of the

sugar-free liqueur.

DAVID: Oh, that's OK.

If you had it, I would have drank it.

But if you don't, you don't.

It's like, I just thought if you had it, then

I would drink it.

But if you don't, you don't.

MALE SPEAKER: OK.

And how is your Corona?

SHELLY: Oh, it's yummy.

Thank you.

MALE SPEAKER: Sure.

How's that feel?

SHELLY: Ooh, it feels pretty amazing, actually.

MALE SPEAKER: Feels good?

SHELLY: Yeah.

MALE SPEAKER: Let me just--

SHELLY: Ooh.

BARNEY: I want to get a little bit of that.

SHELLY: Ah.

BARNEY: Let me get a little some of that.

SHELLY: Mmm.

OK, is this crazy or what?

I mean, I'm, like, being double-teamed.

DAVID: Yeah.

SHELLY: Right in front of you.

God, this is so funny.

DAVID: It's really funny.

BARNEY: What do you say we get out of here?

SHELLY: Yes, let's.

DAVID: Shelly, what the hell's going on?

SHELLY: Look, David, I cannot account for

affairs of the heart.

You know?

I mean, I really have feelings for both of these guys.

Text me sometime when you're hanging out with a big group

and I'll try and stop by.

OK, let's go.

BARNEY: Let's go.

[MUSIC PLAYING]