Got the Olympic torch burning right behind me,

got my credentials, my Stone Phillips field reporting shirt.

I'm wearing a lot of sun block

and I'm ready to find out what's going on.

(energetic music)

One of the biggest mysteries of the 2000 Olympics

is why they built the Sydney Olympic Park,

which is fantastic, majestic,

a gather place for world-class athletes,

why they built it on the edge

of this huge smoldering dump.

This is actually the site of the 2002 Hobo Olympics.

Hobos, tramps, and several bums

will battle it out for supremacy here in 2002.

Catch the action right here on NBC.

(energetic music)

Do you know who I am?

No.

Do you know who I am?

No.

Do you know who I am?

Um, no.

Ted Koppel.

Ted Koppel.

My name is Ted Koppel.

Ted Koppel.

I do a show called Nightline.

You ever seen it?

No.

When you get home tonight, tell people

that you met Ted Koppel.

Yeah?

Yeah, and that he smelled very badly.

He had body odor.

Right behind me you can see this guy

on a tall ladder with a megaphone.

They're stationed all throughout the park.

They're recommending that people get

to their venues on time,

they're recommending that people use sunblock,

and they're recommending that they not live in Australia.

They're pretty helpful, they're everywhere.

Excuse me, sir, do you have any idea who I am?

No, sorry, I don't.

I have a television show.

Would you watch it if you came to America?

No, I'm sorry, I wouldn't.

Thank you very much.

Thank you.

You're name is?

Father Mydim Sadkharkin.

I am the priest from Russian Orthodox Church from Moscow.

Nice to have you here.

Are you enjoying Australia?

Do you like the Australian people?

Yes.

A little bit they are better than Americans.

You like Australians better than Americans?

No, I like USA more than Australia.

I do a TV show in America.

Maybe you would come and see the TV show?

Yes, if you invite me.

It's a terrific show.

We have a masturbating bear,

we have a robot that sits on a toilet.

I actually found three guys who know who I am.

They're big fans and wouldn't you guess,

they're drunk at 10 o'clock in the morning.

Yeah!

When did you start drinking?

Nine o'clock this morning, Conan.

And you're big fans of the show?

Conan!

We're on a cable channel here.

Yeah, cable!

Cable.

Wait a minute, you really have had a lot of drinks

when you're like, "Cable, yeah, cable!".

This guy could be an MTV VJ.

Have you thought about doing that?

I have thought about it at least half an hours worth.

I've thought about it.

Very good.

You would not believe how far I went to get this beer.

It's a great country.

(energetic music)

As you can see, the Goodyear blimp

has been changed to the G'day blimp

because the Australian people feel

we haven't heard the phrase g'day enough.

(energetic music)

Aussie, Aussie, Aussie!

[Crowd] Oi, oi, oi!

Aussie, Aussie, Aussie!

Oi, oi, oi!

Aussie, Aussie, Aussie!

Oi, oi, oi!

Aussie, Aussie, Aussie!

Oi, oi, oi!

Du you ever say Aussie, Aussie, Aussie, oi, oi, oi?

All the time.

Can we hear one right now?

Let's hear it.

Aussie, Aussie, Aussie!

[Crowd] Oi, oi, oi!

Aussie, Aussie, Aussie!

[Crowd] Oi, oi, oi!

Aussie!

[Crowd] Oi!

Aussie!

[Crowd] Oi.

Aussie!

[Crowd] Oi.

Aussie, Aussie, Aussie!

[Crowd] Oi, oi, oi!

There we go.

Okay, truly, it's got to stop.

It's out of control.

Do you take medication?

Yeah, all the time.

(energetic music)